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Topic: Damned lawnmower (Read 483 times) |
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Azrael
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Damned lawnmower
« on: May 24th, 2006, 11:31am » |
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That's it... I'm just gonna get a barrel of RoundUp and pour over my whole lawn... First... The damn lawnmower wouldn't start... Then it would start to start, but cut out after a few seconds... Finally... Just when it seemed like it would keep runnin'... The damned pull cord broke. Now I have no money, a busted lawnmower, and a yard full of lush, green weeds hidin' half my porch. Wonder if I have enough line in the weed whacker to mow the lawn with it.
PFDAN............................................... ShadowLord
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"Hello police? I would like to report a robbery. Someone stole all my beer while I was drunk."
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Melissa
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See now? If you got one of those old fashioned "mowers" with the blades and no motor, you wouldn't have these problems! 
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echo
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #2 on: May 24th, 2006, 11:42am » |
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Maybe your neighbors left their garage open. Borrow theirs while they're at work. 
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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Azrael
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Sometimes... Being good just ain't worth it.
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #3 on: May 24th, 2006, 12:09pm » |
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Oh well... Guess I'll just have to go without beer to afford a new pull cord. Maybe I'll tear down and rebuild the motor while I'm tryin' to not think about beer... Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Beer...
PFDAN......................................... ShadowLord
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| « Last Edit: May 24th, 2006, 12:09pm by Azrael » |
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"Hello police? I would like to report a robbery. Someone stole all my beer while I was drunk."
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LeLimey
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #4 on: May 24th, 2006, 12:14pm » |
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alternatively sit back with a beer and watch the grass grow...
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Redd
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #5 on: May 24th, 2006, 12:26pm » |
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on May 24th, 2006, 12:14pm, LeLimey wrote:| alternatively sit back with a beer and watch the grass grow... |
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This one has my vote...
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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wildhaus
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #6 on: May 24th, 2006, 12:26pm » |
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If you feel you have to lawn mow, and it dose not work,
And still have the urge to do it...... you can come and do it for me........ And you get a beer (or 2) and on top ill get you a (damned) pull cord........
so do we have a deal? you know what even a Dinner (Fondue or Raclett) will be offered and some good white wine ...........
or is there other that will do it for me? Same terms………..
Michael
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unsolved1
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Been there and done that one
I broke the pull cord so I took it apart and shortened it. It broke again. Again, I shortened it. Again, it broke. Before I was done, the cord only pulled out about 6" 
Let it grow, let it grow, let it grow !!
UNsolved
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vietvet2tours
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #8 on: May 24th, 2006, 1:20pm » |
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It's yer carb.
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Kill em all let God sort em out
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Tom K
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #9 on: May 24th, 2006, 1:23pm » |
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Take the gas out of the lawnmower and do a controlled burn, whist sipping a beer. Kill two birds with one stone, I say... 
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Bob P
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Shut up Bob!
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #10 on: May 24th, 2006, 1:38pm » |
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Quote:
Clean the air filter.
Throttle on mine broke last weekend. I manually pushed the carb lever to full throttle and there it will stay!
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Mrs. Barlow, I never, and I repeat never, ever pissed in your steam iron.
"SHUT UP HUB!"
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D_Robinson
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #11 on: May 24th, 2006, 1:45pm » |
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An old and well I am not sure if you would say wise man once said.
When buying a lawnmower or snowblower always make sure you buy an electric start model. Then you will not feel bad watching your wife mow the lawn on a hot day or clear the driveway on a cold morning.
My mower cord bought the farm a while back, but I just took the starter for my son's racing kart and made an adapter to fit it to the 4 cycle mower engine. Starts everytime, and my sons feels like an indy car mower since it has to be started just like the guys at the Indy 500. It already runs on 110 octane racing fuel.
David
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| « Last Edit: May 24th, 2006, 1:45pm by D_Robinson » |
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Tom K
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #12 on: May 24th, 2006, 2:08pm » |
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on May 24th, 2006, 1:45pm, D_Robinson wrote: Then you will not feel bad watching your wife mow the lawn on a hot day or clear the driveway on a cold morning.
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This made me laugh my ass off!!!
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"America, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind. America, America."-Bart Simpson
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chewy
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Put an old Chevy block and rusted refridgerator out there.
Scatter a bunch of Black Label beer cans around.
Then throw up a sign that says:
"American Dream Gone Bad
Tresspassers will be Shot
Vote Bush"
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BobG
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #14 on: May 24th, 2006, 2:51pm » |
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Go to the 7-11 and get some beer.
Then stop by the parking lot at Home Depot and get a Mexican with a mower.
Enjoy your beer.
Maybe give the Mexican one after she's mowed the lawn.
My starter cord broke once. Those suckers cost 8 bucks! Can you believe that!
Hell, instead of a cord I just bought a new $300 mower.
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Jasmyn
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #15 on: May 24th, 2006, 3:58pm » |
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on May 24th, 2006, 2:43pm, chewy wrote:Scatter a bunch of Black Label beer cans around.
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You get Black Label in America?
Kenn, the "back to nature" look is in again, stay fashionable.
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Jazz
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Jonny
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #16 on: May 24th, 2006, 4:09pm » |
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on May 24th, 2006, 3:58pm, Jasmyn wrote:| You get Black Label in America? |
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Yup!
http://www.blacklabelsociety.net/
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imnotbub
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #17 on: May 24th, 2006, 4:13pm » |
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on May 24th, 2006, 3:58pm, Jasmyn wrote:You get Black Label in America?
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Yea, we get it. Pretty rank stuff.
Steve
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Life may not be good, but I think it beats the alternative, and if it doesn't, we'll find out soon enough
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Ueli
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Get a couple of sheep to keep your lawn short!
Them lawnmower are noisy and stinky and a fucking nuisance for the whole neighborhood. 
Can somebody explain to me, what are the advantage of a short cut lawn over a natural meadow with beautiful wildflowers?
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seasonalboomer
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #19 on: May 24th, 2006, 4:24pm » |
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on May 24th, 2006, 4:17pm, Ueli wrote:
Can somebody explain to me, what are the advantage of a short cut lawn over a natural meadow with beautiful wildflowers?
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1.) It gives me a sense of order
2.) It's good exercise
3.) Fewer ticks and fleas
4.) Looks more like the landscaping diagram the designer made for me
5.) Critters can't hide as well in finely cut grass
6.) Lions can't hide like they can in tall grass (of course I'm in NC so no lions)
7.) The paper doesn't get lost when it delivered each day
8.) Wild meadow is not as good a status symbol
9.) Car parked in wild meadow looks like it is abandoned - car parked next to nice lawn -- = transportation
10.) I like it that way.
how's that Ueil ?
Scott
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BobG
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #20 on: May 24th, 2006, 4:29pm » |
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on May 24th, 2006, 4:17pm, Ueli wrote:Get a couple of sheep to keep your lawn short!
Them lawnmower sheep are noisy and stinky and a fucking nuisance for the whole neighborhood.
Fixed it to answer the first sentence.
Can somebody explain to me, what are the advantage of a short cut lawn over a natural meadow with beautiful wildflowers?
No advantage at all. We'd all love to have a meadow but most of us live in the city and a meadow for a yard is out of the question.
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Gator
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #21 on: May 24th, 2006, 5:45pm » |
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on May 24th, 2006, 4:17pm, Ueli wrote:Get a couple of sheep to keep your lawn short!
Livestock are not permitted to be kept in city limits.
Them lawnmower are noisy and stinky and a fucking nuisance for the whole neighborhood.
Can somebody explain to me, what are the advantage of a short cut lawn over a natural meadow with beautiful wildflowers?
No ticket from the city code enforcement department because your grass is too tall.
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LeLimey
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #22 on: May 24th, 2006, 5:57pm » |
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Not to mention only Heidi can play hidey in the long grass!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Jasmyn
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #23 on: May 24th, 2006, 6:00pm » |
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on May 24th, 2006, 4:13pm, imnotbub wrote:
Yea, we get it. Pretty rank stuff.
Steve |
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This one?
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Jazz
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Tom K
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Re: Damned lawnmower
« Reply #24 on: May 24th, 2006, 6:32pm » |
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on May 24th, 2006, 6:00pm, Jasmyn wrote:
This one? |
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Great....next we are going to be discussing the merits of Black Label vs PBR vs Milwaukee's Best vs Red, White and Blue....
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"America, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind. America, America."-Bart Simpson
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