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Topic: Important Documents for Milwaukee (Read 171 times) |
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
 
 
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Important Documents for Milwaukee
« on: May 17th, 2006, 4:53am » |
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APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Name of Boyfriend/Fianc้/Husband:
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Time of return:
Date:
Time of departure:
NOT to exceed:
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below.
I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fianc้/ wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer Wine Liquor Total:
Locations to be visited :
Females with whom conversation is permitted :
IMPORTANT STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree its not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree,
should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half),
the above information is correct.
Signed - Boyfriend/Fianc้/Husband:
Request is: APPROVED/DENIED
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.
Permission for my boyfriend/fianc้/husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date:
Time of departure:
Time of return:
Signed Girlfriend/Fianc้/Wife:
Location: From: To:
Location: From: To:
Location: From: To:
APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS
Name of Girlfriend/Fianc้/Partner/Wife:
Im going out.
Signed: (me) _____________________________
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Posts: 10429
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Re: Important Documents for Milwaukee
« Reply #1 on: May 17th, 2006, 5:00am » |
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Helen, this is just brilliant! 
Thanks!
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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maffumatt
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Re: Important Documents for Milwauke
« Reply #2 on: May 17th, 2006, 7:20am » |
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" Hey Mary."
"What"?
"I'm going to the convention"
"OK"
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chewy
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Re: Important Documents for Milwaukee
« Reply #3 on: May 17th, 2006, 7:23am » |
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Code:I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
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I'm out.
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