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Topic: Momisms (Read 572 times) |
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pattik
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I have to admit to using some of these on my daughter which I got from my mother.
Here are a few of the more common ones....feel free to add some of your own. 
Put that down! You don't know where it's been!
Don't sit too close to the television, it'll ruin your eyes.
You don't have to like me, missy, I'm your mother.
How can you sleep in an unmade bed?
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
You can't start the day on an empty stomach.
and one of my fave's
Always put on clean underwear in the morning, in case you're in an accident.
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #1 on: May 13th, 2006, 2:47pm » |
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Go ahead and hate me. I still love you.
I brought you into this world and I will take you out.
OMG....you're becoming a human "bean". (at 1st. sign of intelligent conversation with my daughter.
If you're going to be a master at excuses for your bad behavior, at least be creative.
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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clarence
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Wake up
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #2 on: May 13th, 2006, 3:55pm » |
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The one that influenced me the most in high school -
"If I get one more phone call telling me that you cut even one more hour of class - I will quit my job, and attend every class with you."
And she would have too.
Casey
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LeLimey
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #3 on: May 13th, 2006, 5:13pm » |
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on May 13th, 2006, 2:47pm, Linda_Howell wrote:
I brought you into this world and I will take you out.
Linda
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I'm saving that one! 
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Richr8
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #4 on: May 13th, 2006, 5:55pm » |
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"If you don't stop doing that , you'll go blind!"
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pf wishes,
Rich
...because yesterday is history and you never know what tomorrow will bring.
"Med free"- A few seeds and lots of O2-LG but not great.
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maffumatt
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I hope you grow up to have 3 boys just like you....
Don't talk to me when I ask you a question.....
you call that clean........
When I was a kid I had to walk to school both ways uphill........
Why you little son of a bitch.....
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #6 on: May 13th, 2006, 8:32pm » |
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Quote:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope you grow up to have 3 boys just like you....
Don't talk to me when I ask you a question.....
you call that clean........
When I was a kid I had to walk to school both ways uphill........
Why you little son of a bitch.... |
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Maffumatt? Your Mom sounds like my kind of woman. 
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Melissa
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Mine are:
"What the hell was that?"
"Are you deaf??"
"I don't care if you don't like it, you're going to eat it!"
"Don't talk when I'm talking to you!"
"What's going on in here?"
"What'd you do to your brother?"
"Get your hand out of your pants!"
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maffumatt
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on May 13th, 2006, 8:48pm, Melissa wrote:
"Get your hand out of your pants!" |
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on May 13th, 2006, 5:55pm, Richr8 wrote:| "If you don't stop doing that , you'll go blind!" |
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are you and Rich related?
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| « Last Edit: May 13th, 2006, 9:14pm by Mattchew » |
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Paul98
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on May 13th, 2006, 1:39pm, pattik wrote:I have to admit to using some of these on my daughter which I got from my mother.
Put that down! You don't know where it's been! Um, it was where I found it
Don't sit too close to the television, it'll ruin your eyes. My eyes are already ruined. You said I masturbated to much
You don't have to like me, missy, I'm your mother. I ain't a missy; never mind.
How can you sleep in an unmade bed? Duhh! If I get in it is un made isn't it?
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Not fruit flies mom!
You can't start the day on an empty stomach. OK, wheres the coffee?
and one of my fave's
Always put on clean underwear in the morning, in case you're in an accident. |
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If I'm in an accident, do I really care?
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Ree
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #10 on: May 13th, 2006, 11:22pm » |
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" Don't make those faces your face will freeze like that"
" I'll give you something to cry about"
those are a few of my favorites... I always liked the "sick and tired" one... she was always "sick and tired" about something......... LOL
Ree
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Donna_D.
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #11 on: May 13th, 2006, 11:38pm » |
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Some of these are mine and some of these are my mom's. Somewhere along the way I lost track of which one's originated with which mom.
If you fall down and break your neck, don't you DARE come running to me!!
Mean? You think I'm mean??...Well then!! I must be doing a good job.
How many times have I told you!! You CANNOT keep crawdads in the bathtub!! (my mom's)
You don't have to like me but you damn well better respect me!
I'm going in the house and your hair is going with me (that one is definately my moms....my head still hurts, because she wasn't kidding.)
You better not start any fights but if you do you damn well better finish it.
If someone hits your brother/sister I better see every one of you whoopin their ass, or you will get an ass whoopin when you get home!!
If you have to ask me if it is "clean enough", it's NOT clean enough.
Shoving everything under your bed does not mean you cleaned your room!
and this one is my favorite.
THAT'S IT!!! I'm changing my name!!! I'm not Mama ANYMORE!!!!
DD
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| « Last Edit: May 13th, 2006, 11:40pm by Donna_D. » |
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vietvet2tours
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #12 on: May 14th, 2006, 12:28am » |
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Shit in one hand and wish in the other and see wish one is full first.
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Kill em all let God sort em out
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BobG
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #13 on: May 14th, 2006, 12:34am » |
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"Eat it. It's good for you."
or 
"You're going to sit right there until you eat every bite."
Yeah Ma, if it's good for me, how come God made it taste like shit? He made it taste like shit so you wouldn't put it in your mouth!
My kids were lucky. They never had to eat anything I don't like.
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BarbaraD
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #14 on: May 14th, 2006, 7:04am » |
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It'd be easier to get a new kid than to CLEAN you up!!!
Because I SAID SO - that's WHY!!!!
I can always kill you and bury you in the back yard!
GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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catlind
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #15 on: May 14th, 2006, 9:07am » |
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Of course the all time favorite in this house:
If yer gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough.
followed by:
Is there bone? Is there blood? then you are fine, rub some dirt in it and keep going.
Because I said so.
Trust me, you will NEVER be big enough to take me out.
You and I are going to have a Come to Jesus talk....followed by "What's that?" followed by When I'm done with you, you will have found God and ask for saving.
You are about to get an attitude adjustment.
And thanks to the schools teaching children they can't be spanked (this was in Canada) my oldest in first grade came home and said you can't spank me, I'll call children's aid. At which point I informed him (and subsequently the other 2):
You don't need to worry about calling children's aid, I'll dial the phone for you, because when I'm done with you, you will NEED them.
Never heard that line from any of them again 
Cat
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A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
If yer gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough
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Melissa
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LOL! I say "Are you gonna live?" to Eli all the time. When he says "yeah" in a weak voice, I say, "good, now go play".
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pattik
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #17 on: May 14th, 2006, 11:22am » |
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I'm having a great laugh reading all the responses--I thought of a couple more...
Stop crossing your eyes-they'll stay like that!
You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on!
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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nani
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #18 on: May 14th, 2006, 11:50am » |
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These are great, LOL. I've heard and used a few myself. Here was my, um, favorite from my mom. "Look at me like that again and I'll shoot you while your sleeping."
Yup...my mom was crazy. 
not a happy chilhood, nani
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL! 
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LeLimey
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #19 on: May 14th, 2006, 12:17pm » |
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Were you born in a barn?
If he told you to stick your head in the oven would you do that too?
Do what I say not do what I do!
I only had kids so I'd have someone to shout at!
You want to see mean? I'll show you mean!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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maffumatt
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Happy Mothers Day to all you Great ladiess, may you all beat your kids in peace.
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Azrael
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #21 on: May 15th, 2006, 12:37am » |
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For the love of God... Put that down before it goes off!
PFDAN........................................................ Drk^Angel
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Barry_T_Coles
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #22 on: May 15th, 2006, 2:21am » |
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My Foster mother only had one: Actions speak louder than words, and then she decked me.
Didn’t take this little black duck long to realise that mincing words wasn’t going to be good for my health.
Barry
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Redd
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #23 on: May 15th, 2006, 7:39am » |
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Only one I can recall at this point, used when the two were bickering enough to drive me up the wall...
"What is your major malfunction?"
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Killroy 2.0
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Re: Momisms
« Reply #24 on: May 15th, 2006, 8:50am » |
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I've got a couple
You don't pay for your raisin' till ya rasied your own
(sacry when shit like that comes true)
You need to put your brain in gear before you engage your mouth!
(I am still trying to learn this one  )
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