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Topic: home repair (Read 388 times) |
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tanner
CH.com Alumnus
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Adopt a POW/MIA I have
 
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A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING! A
FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
HONEY,
COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.
HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
FINE,
THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT
TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO
FINE, SHE SAYS
THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR?
THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.
I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS.
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD ?
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS...................................
HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.
AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.
AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED.
JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.
HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.
HE SAID,
SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?
SHE REPLIED,
HELLOOOOO...
DO YOU
SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN
ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!
....tim
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I AM THE MASTER OF MY MIND, MY BODY, AND MY EMOTIONS...
it's just my head that sucks...http://www.centerforlit.com/
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Miklos
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Re: home repair
« Reply #1 on: May 5th, 2006, 9:34pm » |
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Sad. Old. You should really discover the internet. Like in 1995?
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Don't be offended by my frank analysis. Think of it as personality dialysis.
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PollyPocket
CH.com Alumnus
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Someone I am is waiting for my courage.
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Re: home repair
« Reply #2 on: May 5th, 2006, 9:37pm » |
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An oldie perhaps, but a goodie. I hadn't heard it, and after the day(s) I've had, I appreciated it! Thanks for the giggles Tim. 
Hugs,
Jen
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened.  " - Tori
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tanner
CH.com Alumnus
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Adopt a POW/MIA I have
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Posts: 2449
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Re: home repair
« Reply #3 on: May 5th, 2006, 11:01pm » |
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on May 5th, 2006, 9:34pm, Michael wrote:| Sad. Old. You should really discover the internet. Like in 1995? |
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sorry michael , did'nt mean to bore you.
Whats the internet? Oh yeah thats what took over for intercourse...guess you wouldn't remember that.
.............tim
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| « Last Edit: May 5th, 2006, 11:01pm by tanner » |
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I AM THE MASTER OF MY MIND, MY BODY, AND MY EMOTIONS...
it's just my head that sucks...http://www.centerforlit.com/
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cootie
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sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
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Re: home repair
« Reply #4 on: May 6th, 2006, 2:27am » |
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Good comeback Tim !!!! Smoldie oldie Pam
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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Kirk
CH.com Alumnus
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VINIMUS, VIDIMUS, DOLAVIMUS
   
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Re: home repair
« Reply #5 on: May 7th, 2006, 4:53am » |
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Quote:| author=Michael Sad. Old. You should really discover the internet. Like in 1995? |
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Sad indeed. You should have discovered DARPANet like in 1975
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| « Last Edit: May 7th, 2006, 5:04am by Kirk » |
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kimmiedawn81
CH.com Alumnus
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Stuck in the middle with you!
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Re: home repair
« Reply #6 on: May 7th, 2006, 12:10pm » |
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Heard it before, but still funny!
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purpleydog
CH.com Alumnus
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Posts: 2240
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Re: home repair
« Reply #7 on: May 7th, 2006, 8:30pm » |
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Betty Crocker 
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_Lee_
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Please stop Wilma.........
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Re: home repair
« Reply #8 on: May 8th, 2006, 11:32pm » |
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Who is King of Pain?
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nani
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Got kudzu?
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Re: home repair
« Reply #9 on: May 8th, 2006, 11:48pm » |
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on May 5th, 2006, 9:34pm, Michael wrote:| Sad. Old. You should really discover the internet. Like in 1995? |
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Is that like one of those "obligatory anal squirts" you accuse others of leaving on threads? That was mean and uncalled for. >:(
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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fubar
CH.com Alumnus
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Re: home repair
« Reply #10 on: May 9th, 2006, 12:47pm » |
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on May 7th, 2006, 4:53am, Kirk wrote:
Sad indeed. You should have discovered DARPANet like in 1975
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To be fair, DARPANet wasn't exactly easy to use and that's why it was cool. It was awesome. After a few years of USENet and DARPANet being co-mingled (in a manner of speaking) it all merged and then, horror of horrors, AOL was connected.
I built my share of the Net. I travelled over 3 million miles setting up network nodes all over the globe. I even won a Best-of-Show award at Networld+Interop for my functional prototype of what we call AT&T Worldnet now.
I'm not sure you'd ever find a joke that *hasn't* been on the Internet for a long time. Hell, I remember when the volume of bandwidth consumed by alt.humer got out of control. One guy even published a real book that was simply a collection of jokes from Usenet.
-Shawn
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"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
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jobee
Guest
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on May 8th, 2006, 1:34am, KingOfPain wrote:
Miklos is now Michael.
don is now chewy.
jimmers is now jobee.
Hey,
I'm tryin to get that shit fixed. I can't take any more pm's from jonny callin me a girlyman! 
Jimmers
Ya need a score card around here to keep up...sheesh!
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jobee
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I'm still trying to figure out how to do that quote stuff dammit.
JIMMERS
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cekelle
New Board Junior
Just take it slow, and let the good times roll!
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Re: home repair
« Reply #13 on: May 9th, 2006, 7:31pm » |
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Never heard it! Quite a good chuckle here! 
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echo
CH.com Alumnus
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Chronic and still alive --- I Win!
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Re: home repair
« Reply #14 on: May 10th, 2006, 1:35pm » |
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[quote author=jobee link=board=general;num=1146868669;start=0#14 date=05/09/06 at 19:25:31]I'm still trying to figure out how to do that quote stuff dammit.
JIMMERS[/quote ] add this behind the the e without a space and it will box it in.
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| « Last Edit: May 10th, 2006, 1:35pm by echo » |
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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