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Topic: Sunday groaners (Read 165 times) |
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Dragnlance
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Sunday groaners
« on: Apr 23rd, 2006, 9:03pm » |
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1... A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry Sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2... Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
3... Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4... Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other asks, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
5... Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6... A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7... A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8... These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to 'persuade' them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified,
they did so, thereby proving that Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9... Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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minnie
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Re: Sunday groaners
« Reply #1 on: Apr 23rd, 2006, 10:05pm » |
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Saw the subject title of Sunday Groaners here I thought this was gonna be perverted  .And ya'all that opened this thread thought the same thing  .Oh wait I was thinking Moaners...never mind now back to your regularly scheduled program 
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cootie
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Re: Sunday groaners
« Reply #2 on: Apr 23rd, 2006, 11:56pm » |
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Yeah me too.....I thought it was goin to be a hot steamy sex thread with pics or even jus juicey donut tales. Cravein a cream puff Pam
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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KingOfPain
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Re: Sunday groaners
« Reply #3 on: Apr 24th, 2006, 6:45am » |
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on Apr 23rd, 2006, 11:56pm, cootie wrote:| Yeah me too.....I thought it was goin to be a hot steamy sex thread with pics or even jus juicey donut tales. Cravein a cream puff Pam |
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One for cootie...
  
My glazed "submission".
Hi Brad. 
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Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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BobG
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Re: Sunday groaners
« Reply #4 on: Apr 24th, 2006, 7:27am » |
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groaners? You got that right. 
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sandie99
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Re: Sunday groaners
« Reply #5 on: Apr 24th, 2006, 11:39am » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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imnotbub
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Re: Sunday groaners
« Reply #6 on: Apr 24th, 2006, 2:23pm » |
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I thought a Sunday Groaner was a Philadelphia Eagle fan. 
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Life may not be good, but I think it beats the alternative, and if it doesn't, we'll find out soon enough
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