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Topic: Blonde Jokes (Read 149 times) |
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medic1852
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Blonde Jokes
« on: Apr 23rd, 2006, 6:29pm » |
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Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. You can't, they have always been like that.
Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat?
A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?
A. A wind tunnel.
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
A. She drowns it.
Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.
Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.
Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme
Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg room!
Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More headroom
Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes
Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.
Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.
Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass?
A. Brain tumor.
Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry.
Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.
Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been in a 747.
Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow poop have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking.
Q. What does a blonde say when you ask her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball.
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it.
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends
Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up
Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A. A blow job with handlebars
Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?
A. A golden retriever.
Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?
A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.
Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.
Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
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cootie
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Re: Blonde Jokes
« Reply #1 on: Apr 23rd, 2006, 8:07pm » |
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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maffumatt
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Q. How do you know a blond is uncomformable ?
A. When she has a tampon behind her ear.
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Opus
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Re: Blonde Jokes
« Reply #3 on: Apr 24th, 2006, 7:36am » |
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Q. Where does a blonde post their jokes?
A. Anywhere but the joke section of course
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Zed-Zed-nine plural-Zed alpha,
There is no place like home.
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medic1852
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This will only hurt for a little while!
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Re: Blonde Jokes
« Reply #4 on: Apr 24th, 2006, 7:49am » |
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on Apr 24th, 2006, 7:36am, Opus wrote:Q. Where does a blonde post their jokes?
A. Anywhere but the joke section of course
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Your right Opus...but this area gets more traffic...and my hair is brown! 
Rodger
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Dragnlance
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Re: Blonde Jokes
« Reply #5 on: Apr 24th, 2006, 7:01pm » |
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bumping to the top
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Richr8
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Re: Blonde Jokes
« Reply #6 on: Apr 24th, 2006, 7:18pm » |
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on Apr 24th, 2006, 7:01pm, Dragnlance wrote:
Why? Are we bored? 
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pf wishes,
Rich
...because yesterday is history and you never know what tomorrow will bring.
"Med free"- A few seeds and lots of O2-LG but not great.
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Dragnlance
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Re: Blonde Jokes
« Reply #7 on: Apr 24th, 2006, 7:19pm » |
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nope, getting a post off the front page
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Richr8
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Re: Blonde Jokes
« Reply #8 on: Apr 24th, 2006, 7:23pm » |
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on Apr 24th, 2006, 7:19pm, Dragnlance wrote:| nope, getting a post off the front page |
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So now I have to go to paget two? Geez! 
I peeked. Ah yes! Good idea indeed.
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| « Last Edit: Apr 24th, 2006, 7:25pm by Richr8 » |
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pf wishes,
Rich
...because yesterday is history and you never know what tomorrow will bring.
"Med free"- A few seeds and lots of O2-LG but not great.
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Dragnlance
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Re: Blonde Jokes
« Reply #9 on: Apr 25th, 2006, 8:34am » |
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how do you drown a blonde?
put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool
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