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Topic: How to train a husband (Read 301 times) |
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PollyPocket
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How to train a husband
« on: Apr 19th, 2006, 4:29pm » |
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Bake the world's most delicious chocolate chip cookies.
Bake them regularly.
Get him addicted.
THEN STOP MAKING THEM.
Wait at least 2 weeks.
Call and leave a message on his cell phone, that you have just baked his favorite COOKIES.
Husband is trained when he calls back to say, "I just got your message and I am on my way home. As soon as I got the message, I told 'em, I gotta go!"
LOL
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened.  " - Tori
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Ghost
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #1 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 4:38pm » |
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SEX works better! 
Every day for 2 weeks, then 2 more, then 2 more ect....  
Mike
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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BobG
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #2 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 4:39pm » |
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on Apr 19th, 2006, 4:29pm, JenniferD wrote:Bake the world's most delicious chocolate chip cookies.
Bake them regularly.
Get him addicted.
THEN STOP MAKING THEM.
Wait at least 2 weeks.
Call and leave a message on his cell phone, that you have just baked his favorite COOKIES.
Husband calls back to say, "Do your cookies fill out a sweater like my new secretary's do?
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There, fixed it.
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medic1852
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #3 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 4:44pm » |
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I gotta agree with Mike on this one...cookies would not work that well on me...Hell I can cook myself...But some good hot sex...that is a different story..
Rodger 
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marlinsfan
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #4 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 4:45pm » |
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If you keep making him wait for cookies, he'll start to look for cookies somewhere else
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Jonny
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #5 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 4:49pm » |
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on Apr 19th, 2006, 4:45pm, marlinsfan wrote:| If you keep making him wait for cookies, he'll start to look for cookies somewhere else |
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Thats the damn truth!!...LOL
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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PollyPocket
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #6 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 4:50pm » |
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oh I doubt he'll be looking elsewhere LOL
the ONLY thing that was withheld recently was the cookies
and even if he had a secretary, he is quite happy with MY sweater lol
YOU GUYS ARE ROTTEN
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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Jonny
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #7 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 4:52pm » |
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on Apr 19th, 2006, 4:50pm, JenniferD wrote:oh I doubt he'll be looking elsewhere LOL
the ONLY thing that was withheld recently was the cookies
and even if he had a secretary, he is quite happy with MY sweater sister lol
YOU GUYS ARE ROTTEN |
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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PollyPocket
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #8 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 4:56pm » |
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on Apr 19th, 2006, 4:52pm, Jonny wrote:
IN HIS DREAMS roflmao
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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BarbaraD
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #9 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 6:31pm » |
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Back in my "younger days" (and NO kids I haven't ALWAYS been OLD!!!) I read this book on how to train a husband SO.....
I dressed up in Saran Wrap and called Bill at work. His secretary said he was in a meeting - I told secretary it was an emergency -- when Bill got on the phone (how did I know he was taking it in the "meeting" room!) I just said, "I want your body - NOW! Come home!" He almost had a heart attack, but mumbled something like, "We'll talk about it when I get home!" I said, "I can't wait - come home NOW!" and hung up!
He was home in 15 minutes (it was a 30 minute drive) and I was hysterical. seems to make it really a moment to remember I had locked all the doors knowing Bill never carried a house key. My PLAN was to throw open the door and yell, "surprise!" When the doorbell rang, I followed my plan and threw open the door and the next door neighbor almost wet his pants! I don't think he ever let me live that one down. But he did suggest his wife try it. 
Be careful with your training...... 
Hugs BD
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Azrael
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #10 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 8:23pm » |
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Lucky neighbor...
PFDAN.................................................. Drk^Angel
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"Hello police? I would like to report a robbery. Someone stole all my beer while I was drunk."
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Jonny
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #11 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 8:28pm » |
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At the next convention Barb and I are going to wrap each other in saran wrap and make a beer run.....YEEEHAW!!!!
Just like old times, Mom....LOL
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Linda_Howell
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #12 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 10:26pm » |
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My best airfare is 900.00, round trip to get to Milwaukee.
I'd pay twice that to see this:
Quote:Jonny Posted on: Today at 5:28pm
At the next convention Barb and I are going to wrap each other in saran wrap and make a beer run.....
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Linda
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Dragnlance
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #13 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 11:00pm » |
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BarbaraD wrote:
Quote:| When the doorbell rang, I followed my plan and threw open the door and the next door neighbor almost wet his pants! |
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Drk^Angel wrote
Quote:
You dont want to see my neighbor dark, you wouldnt think it so lucky if you lived thru it (my eyes, my eyes!!!)
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Ghost
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #14 on: Apr 20th, 2006, 8:43am » |
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Isnt it strange the power CHenz have over us guys.
Here is proof of their power.
A little boy and a little girl, both about eight years old, were playing in the sandbox. Unexpectedly, the little boy farts, causing a little sand between
his legs to shift. The little girl notices, and squeals with laughter,
"How'd you do that," she asks.
Easy," he exclaimed, "I just farted.."
"Can I try it," she asks?"
"Sure," he says, "anybody can do it."
She concentrates as she strains and grunts. Suddenly, there's a huge
explosion, the sides of the sandbox fly off, all the sand flies out, and the
little boy is thrown 20 feet, ending up against a tree. He groggily gets to
his feet,runs back to where the little girl is. He finds her laying on the ground,
out cold , flat on her back, spread eagle. Cur! iously, he lifts up her dress,
peeks underneath, and loudly exclaims,
"Just what I thought ... DUAL EXHAUST."
Mike
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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aprilbee
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #15 on: Apr 20th, 2006, 9:11am » |
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on Apr 19th, 2006, 4:38pm, Ghost wrote:SEX works better!
Every day for 2 weeks, then 2 more, then 2 more ect....
Mike |
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Hmph....only if he wants it more than you....I can't get anything from my husband...found his favorite position on the couch and that's all she wrote!! I think the cookies would work much better!!
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imnotbub
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #16 on: Apr 20th, 2006, 10:22am » |
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What are cookies, and why do I feel like I'm missing something? 
I thought sex was something for single people.
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Life may not be good, but I think it beats the alternative, and if it doesn't, we'll find out soon enough
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PollyPocket
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #17 on: Apr 20th, 2006, 10:23am » |
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I hear ya April! I thought it was women who supposedly always said, Honey I'm tired. He keeps asking me if I'm tryin to kill him! Sheesh, isn't it the guys who are supposed to be complaining that they never get any?????
Chocolate chip cookies = sugar = ENERGY SNACKS lol
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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Charlotte
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #18 on: Apr 20th, 2006, 1:29pm » |
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Very funny, you guys. We all know you can't train a husband. You just take 'em or leave 'em.
Could someone email me a picture of Barbara & Jonny at the convention if they do that beer run?
Charlotte
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| « Last Edit: Apr 20th, 2006, 3:16pm by Charlotte » |
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aprilbee
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #19 on: Apr 20th, 2006, 2:12pm » |
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on Apr 20th, 2006, 10:23am, JenniferD wrote:I hear ya April! I thought it was women who supposedly always said, Honey I'm tired. He keeps asking me if I'm tryin to kill him! Sheesh, isn't it the guys who are supposed to be complaining that they never get any?????
Chocolate chip cookies = sugar = ENERGY SNACKS lol |
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Glad I'm not alone!!!  I thought the same thing, I always ask him if his friends are jealous that his wife is constantly begging for it and he just looks at me like I'm crazy...  I need a boyfriend...
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Jasmyn
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #20 on: Apr 21st, 2006, 5:42am » |
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This is too funny... the 2 sides of the coin
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Jazz
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Ghost
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Re: How to train a husband
« Reply #21 on: Apr 21st, 2006, 12:21pm » |
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And wouldn't you know it I found a 3 sided coin!
Mike
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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