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Topic: Simple Home Remedies (Read 108 times) |
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medic1852
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This will only hurt for a little while!
 
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Simple Home Remedies
« on: Apr 19th, 2006, 2:40pm » |
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1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
8. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
11. If you shop anywhere but WalMart, you are just showing off!
12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
Rodger
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways,
Champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other,
body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO -
What a Ride!"
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| « Last Edit: Apr 19th, 2006, 2:41pm by medic1852 » |
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Shoot Low Sherrif He's Riding a Sheltland Pony!
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Jonny
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Give me a shovel Ill dig my own grave!
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Re: Simple Home Remedies
« Reply #1 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 3:01pm » |
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on Apr 19th, 2006, 2:40pm, medic1852 wrote:
3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. |
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LMAO! 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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echo
CH.com Alumnus
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Chronic and still alive --- I Win!
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Re: Simple Home Remedies
« Reply #2 on: Apr 19th, 2006, 3:01pm » |
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on Apr 19th, 2006, 2:40pm, medic1852 wrote:
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
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This one kills me. LMAO
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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