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Topic: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter (Read 1053 times) |
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Melissa
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How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« on: Apr 4th, 2006, 1:54pm » |
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Once again, I am heavy. I weigh 172.5lbs and cannot get it to budge at all. I'm a lot more solid than I used to be, but it's tearing me apart inside.  I want to know how, after so many years of going up and down, and being called names when I was a kid cause of my weight, being taken advantage of, slapped in the face because my self esteem was rock bottom, HOW in God's name do you not let it bother you???
There are times when I feel confident of myself, and then there are times, like now, where the pain in my heart is so heavy because I have struggled for so long to look good and be attractive. I know there are some who will say it has nothing to do with the outside, but after you're fat for so many years, and you lose a ton of weight and so many are saying how great you look, then that must have meant I looked horrible before??
There are couple people here who have always told me I look beautfiul, before and after weight loss, and for that, I love you guys so much!!! I am just having a really difficult time right now in my life. I have this damned spare tire that will NOT disappear no matter how many crunches I do and my neighbor lady said to me, "welcome to middle age!". OMG, is this what it's like????
JIMI, I want to get to the point where it doesn't matter to me anymore!!!!!
I know, I know, "mel....., kwitcherbitchin!!!". 
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Melissa
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #1 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 2:08pm » |
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No responses needed, I just needed to get that out and feel much better now.
*deep breath*
THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Now that I'm done being shallow, back to your regularly scheduled programming. 
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Linda_Howell
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #2 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 2:15pm » |
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Not shallow at all Mel, and 30 is HARDLY middle age.
You are a beautiful person inside and out and it could be that you've just hit one of those plateaus people talk about. That means you need to keep doing what you're doing and wait for the metabolism to kick back in.
Linda
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Melissa
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #3 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 2:35pm » |
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Linda, I'm tired. I've spent the last 20 years worrying about my weight. Ever since I had my daughter, I've stopped doing things I love because I was afraid I'd look "fat" in a swimsuit. I did look good for a little while about 2 years ago, and I did take a picture of myself in a suit (2 piece even!) because I was so proud. But I think it's safe to say I'll probably never look like that again.
I'm ready to say "fuck it". It's either busting my ass and being miserable, or enjoying my life and not worrying. My husband loves me for who I am and my kids aren't cracking any jokes....yet. 
I gotta go talk to hubby's aunt, she's active in her son's Boy Scouts, goes hiking and canoeing and camping, but isn't a small lady. She's built, not thin and about the same size as me. She doesn't even look at her hair just before she leaves to go shopping, LOL!! I love that. 
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Woobie
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #4 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 2:37pm » |
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hey mel
ive been heavy all my life - made fun of when i was a kid... hell, the kids on my street even had a song they made up for me .. which they sang every time i went outside, and i still remember every single word to it.
i used to care - and no matter what i did - i would be within 5-10 pounds. Now, with my medical condition, there's nothing I can do about it. So, I stopped caring. I eat healthy, and that's about all I can do.
I have a husband who loves me no matter what, and he understands. That's all I need.
Sure, it would be nice to be skinnier.. and i would love to be able to dress in all those cool clothes, but you know what? I cant afford those clothes anyway 
Love you anyhow
tina
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #5 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 2:41pm » |
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on Apr 4th, 2006, 2:35pm, Melissa wrote:| She doesn't even look at her hair just before she leaves to go shopping, LOL!! |
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That must definitely be an age thing.. neither do I!
Like me or lump me, I care not. I'm comfortable in my own skin and if "you" can't see past (the acres of it!) then it's "your" loss not mine!
Anyone who can't see past your size is half the person they should be and you're twice the woman they deserve to know.
You're lovely Melly, inside AND out - what more could anyone want from a friend?!
lots of love
Helen
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #6 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 2:42pm » |
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Oh - and I forgot to say........
Life is too frikkin short to worry about it.
You can spend your life worrying about what you eat and spend all your extra time excersicing....and guess what - you could get hit by a car tomorrow...
After having a friend who ate right, excersised and never drank or did drugs, die of a heart attack at age 33, I figure.........what the hell........
I also have an aunt who's smoked for 60 years, never eats right, never excersices, and is fat as hell, drinks like a fish, and she's almost 90 years old, and still relatively healthy.
go figure.
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Melissa
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #7 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 2:51pm » |
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Tina and Helen, have I told you before how much I admire both of you? Everyone loves you for who you are, as I do. You're both people who when you talk, an ear is always leaning more toward you to listen, because they always want to hear what you have to say. You are both fiesty, loving, caring, funny and spectacular. I want to be just like you....
Thank you. 
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Azrael
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight ma
« Reply #8 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 3:33pm » |
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The way I see it... I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and miserable... Ya know what they say... Don't trust a thin cook... If we were meant to be thin, then why did God create chocolate. The only problem I have with bein' overweight is that I have to spend an extra $3 on pants at Walmart...
PFDAN..................................... Drk^Angel
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight ma
« Reply #9 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 3:53pm » |
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I ENVY people that don't worry about weight and looks.......I will be honest and say I am NEUROTIC about my weight and hair and clothes and style. Hey.....I'm an honest typea girl. I've always been that way in one form or the other. I still LOVE to wear the coolest clothes too and we go out alot to see bands and social stuff and parties and campouts ect ect ect. I do it for 'myself' tho and am my own self's worst critic. But ya know what.....I get teased and razzed cuz of my small size.......people act like there pissed at me I am smaller then them or wear cool stuff 'I wear cuz I like it".......so there's really NO WINNING here......it's what you like and what you wanna be or look like that counts.......and most of all it is what is inside !!!!!! I'm not a big eater but I could be.....I try to balance it out tho.......I eat what I want for dinner (no diet food or low fat or calorie stuff) but I just try not to eat alot inbetween meals. I am on the 'don't eat so much diet' I guess you could say. I gained over 20 lbs on paxil and took me about 6 months to even get any of that weight to BUDGE.......I jus stay active and when busy yer not eating so much. Late at nite is when I wanna eat an entire cow when nothing is goin on and too late to be busy and jus sittin watchin tv. Workin out wit some sort of excercise program can help wether ya buy her own stuff or probly best of all join a club so you are more apt to show up. When you exercise with some sort of routine it is a GOOD habit that begins to be hard to break and ya get a bit more 'health concious' and it all works hand in hand. If I blow my diet and eat a couple candy bars or cake or ice cream inbetween meals I am craveing it 24/7. So guess it's got a little to do with control the same as smokein or quittin has. I DON'T LIKE MYSELF when I am over a certain weight and I am very hard on myself......so I try to keep it within bounds. My jeans get too tight I do NOT go out and buy a bigger pair. But if you can be comfortable with where yer at and just get some sort of workout program to tone yourself up a bit you may be suprised and don't have to go on some strict diet that is impossible to keep up with. Most people I know that have lost alot of weight go thru a faze with it and are real strict and loveing there results then they get comfortable and blow it again and give up. Several of my freinds have had that stomach surgery and they lost alot of weight but are slowly gaining some back rite now but they still look good.....but it was a drastic measure. One freind almost died a few times and could not keep anything down and about starved. We really are what we eat Pam
I think ya look cute as heck Mel........find a ZONE and just stay with that and like I said maybe an exercise program will add tone and you like what ya see verses try to get or stay thin.
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #10 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 4:25pm » |
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Melissa----you are beautiful and never forget it. I'm sorry for posting the picture of the fat dude. I would never want you to think that I am an insensitive person. I am not. You have always been one of my favorites----and you can do whatever you want to do !!!Just believe in yourself and everything will follow !!!
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FramCire
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight ma
« Reply #11 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 4:27pm » |
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The easiest way to not let your weight get you down is to learn to love yourself not your body. I (and many of my friends) struggle with weight and the only thing I can tell you that works most often is gaining a love for the person you are BEFORE you lose the weight.
Women seriously have to stop looking in a mirror to evaluate themselves. You seem like a really good person from the little I know of you and you need to frecognize the good in you and embrace it. Honestly, who the heck cares about how others view you anyway. If you are a good but overweight person isn't that a heck of a lot better than a trim jerk (like Jonny ... sorry had to take my shots, chewy told me to).
Anyway, if you start to feel really depressed, send me a PM and I would be happy to chat with you sometime.
Anyway, smile and make a list of the things about yourself that you like and keep it in your pocket. When you feel yourself stressing over your weight or about to eat something you shouldn't.... pull out the list and remind yourself why you shouldn't be doing it and smile and walk away from the bad feelings/actions.
Small successes in a person who loves themselves can turn into large successes easily.
(Note: I struggle with this as well because it is easier said than done.)
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You've overstayed your welcome since the day we met but it doesn't seem to matter to you. No medications are your master, nothing makes you fret, it's a helpless feeling having nothing I can do
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight ma
« Reply #12 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 4:44pm » |
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on Apr 4th, 2006, 4:27pm, FramCire wrote:| If you are a good but overweight person isn't that a heck of a lot better than a trim jerk (like Jonny ... sorry had to take my shots, chewy told me to). |
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Excuse me!!!...But back in 1998 I was 40 pounds over the weight I am now and I was still a jerk!
Up till then I always had the same size waist as I did when I graduated high school, I do know a little sumpin sumpin about the subject at hand.
BTW....Does Chewy know hes giving Sean oral at my cookout?
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #13 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 4:46pm » |
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on Apr 4th, 2006, 1:54pm, Melissa wrote:| I have this damned spare tire that will NOT disappear[ |
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I love muffin tops.
I always have, and always will (I think), be above the recommended norms for weight. My goal has long ago diminished to reach a level where I feel good, which is a ways above what the charts say I should be. Striving to reach published standards for many of us simply ain't happening and leads to chronic ongoing frustration and depression. Do the best you can and if you are in shape enough to do the things you want to do, then that's good enough. Don't try to live up to someone elses standards.
You bring kindness and joy to many people. Leave some for youself.
Rich
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight ma
« Reply #14 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 5:00pm » |
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Mel, One of the things a really like about this board is that you can get to know people over time without a lot of the interference of the visual stuff. Of course we post pics too, but the words come through much stronger. So even though we haven't met yet, I already have wonderful impressions of you which have nothing to do with how you look. I don't think that most others judge us nearly as critically as we do to ourselves. I know that I have to keep reminding myself of that fairly often. Just try to remember how you are thinking during those time when you are feeling positive about yourself so that you can make it happen more often.
Hugs, Patti
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #15 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 5:26pm » |
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Melissa,
You know that what counts is on the inside! 
I understand how you feel....I used to be there a few years ago.
You've had some rough times in the past year...try and not worry about everything at once. You're still young..and believe me...it's a helluva lot easier to lose it at your age, than to lose it at mine. 
We love you just as you are....never forget that.
Jean
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #16 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 5:39pm » |
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Mel, I like you, just be who you already are.
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minnie
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #17 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 5:47pm » |
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Mel I am sorry but I have no answer for your question
because I am suffering from the same thing as you.what I'm gonna write is probably no good for you but here goes.by the way you are a beautiful person inside and out you have a beautiful smile and definatley have a leg up opn me cuz I am not cute plus I'm fat.here goes the pity party for myself grab a towel and join in
I used to be called skinny minnie as a kid and they meant it .Not anymore though I have had problems with my 2 c-section,a hysterectomy and back surgery some of which may have been needed in part cuz of weight.I had mennengitis was sick a month before and months after diagnosis.couldn't eat anything guess what never lost a pound !! hysterectomy never lost a pound even though I lost one ovary and my uterous .tis life I swear I look at food and gain weight.I am a half ass eater as in I don't eat super healthy but not extremely bad. my worse habit is my coffee flavored sugarwater(what Billy and my parents call it LOL) every morning.I will be getting out walking more again now that spring is here when my back allows.
As people may know here this has been a very hard year for me and my family.My marriage to Billy has ended and I am working hard at my new role as co-parent and friend.Somedays are better then others.as a side note I want people to understand that Billy and I are friends and theirby I really hope everyone keeps freindships with both of us.Back in Febuary I lost a lot of whieght I went from a 24 Jean down to a 14-16 jean yeah me.most people didn't know about our impending seperation (he didn't move out til September) . Needless to say everyone kept asking me what my secret was.I didn't say that you can't eat when you are dying inside.It's amazing that so far through this all I haven't died.It seems like your heart is so broken you will surely die and honestly I wanted to except my kids gave me the will to live.Everyday I wake up I do it for my daughters.Zanax and lexepro plus time are helping me get my feet on the ground and life is getting better(even been on a few dates with a sweet guy)
Now back to the weight and I do mean back to the weight I am in 18-20's now and the depression over my weight is back.I so badly am thinking about going back to eating once every 4 days.please no lectures I can live off the fat of my land for years.Softball seoson is starting so Ill be taking the girls to the park and we will be practicing and I will be walking as much as my back allows.hopefully the excercize will help.I look in the mirror and see this ugly fat person but that usually not how I feel.I sometimes feel older the my 36 years because of my back but thats a different story.I just want to look like I feel .I don't think I ever will but I am at the point I will try most anything.Oh well pity party over.no need to respond I'm just letting Mel
know good or bad your not alone in feeling upset about the weight.take pride in the fact you have a man that loves you and accepts you just like you are.being newly single and thinking of going back to dating at my age weight and looking like me well just say scary and depressing.minnie who may just duck under the covers for a few years.
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #18 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 5:55pm » |
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Mel, hang in there Sis...you are so far from middle age it's not even funny. I'm 37, i'm closer to middle age... And frankly I don't care. I was pretty heavy 2 years ago and lost almost 70 pounds during a bad divorce. It's still off, but my boobs and butt are still big, can't do nothing about those...and my doctor had the nerve to tell me I had to lose 30 more pounds to be at my Optimum weight...I almost told him to kiss my fat Puerto Rican ass and went home and bought some ice cream...(couldn't find donuts  )
You are gorgeous lady inside and out and you are loved for YOU...
Langa
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #19 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 5:59pm » |
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Heyyyyy~~ Heres Ree too and I know alot of you would say Im not very big either. I actually have never had a weight problem in my life due to the fact that I am a nervous itch and usually lose my appetite when stressed that is til the WAR...
Everyone knows that I have kids in the service and going on my 4th deployment. I have never looked to food for comfort but I have to say if the world was ever going to end~ I will get a bottle of my favorite liquor and a quart of chocolate heath bar crunch ice cream and devour both lickin my chops all the while......
If we could figure out Cooties secret we would all be sexy babys... she is gorgeous...
I have discovered, that in my 40's my metabolism has changed big time... over the past year I have gained an extra 10 lbs that I dont want either. Well sure I've never had a problem so I thought I'll just eat salad for a few weeks... nuthin......I'm now eating only veggies.....soup... salad......and nuthin..... it won't budge. I've started walking again and I know that this will eventually help... I refuse to buy bigger clothes. (Actually I can't afford them)
I think you are gorgeous Melly.... all I can say is move... thats the only thing that I think is out of my equasion... and I know it makes me feel better too...love ree
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #20 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 6:07pm » |
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Mel, you are beautiful inside and out, it shines through your giving heart and your beautiful smile! Find it within yourself the balance you need and don't be so tough on yourself, you have so many gifts to give to your family, including your true self...
Big huge hugs
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Suck it up Princess...
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #21 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 6:09pm » |
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Minnie... ask the doc if you can take Zoloft or Welbutrin. Lexapro is known for its weight gaining side effects. I have friends that had to go off because of the quick weight gain. I hate that drug... there are others that dont cause weight gain. love ree
ps Meds are a big factor in weight problems in the cluster world. Dave has been fighting weight gain from clonazepam and I know there are several people here that have had their bodies changed forever by prednisone...
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight ma
« Reply #22 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 6:28pm » |
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on Apr 4th, 2006, 6:09pm, Ree wrote:I know there are several people here that have had their bodies changed forever by prednisone... |
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Yes, 41 pounds!
Most of you have already seen half naked pics of me .....add 40 pounds to that.
I one day unknowingly started eating different, a half sandwhich when I got hungry....couple pieces of toast a few hours later when I felt it again. I was eating five times a day, four really small and a decent supper.
Someone told me later (fitness trainer) that when you eat (Big/small meal) your metabolism kicks in but for only so long. when you eat again it kicks back up, by eating small every 3-4 hours you keep the metabolism going.
I lost the 40 in under a year....I was 36 years old at the time.
Not sure why im typing this, but thats what happen to me.
Mel, I loved you the first time I met you and I loved you in the smoking room....Your loved!!
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight ma
« Reply #23 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 7:30pm » |
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I have no idea how some people do it. If it were easy, there wouldn't be so many large people out there. If it were easy, the diet industry wouldn't be one of the biggest industries.
I lost over one hundred pounds while I was working full-time, attending college full-time, and raising two kids (one with severe ADHD). It was lack of time to eat, and overuse of my body running to classes, to work, and after the kids. I don't recommend it. (Yes, I've kept it off, plus thirty more pounds)
Now? Now I think I'll probably be stuck near my current weight for a long time. I can see that I'm pretty now, and don't listen to those who say I'd be even prettier if I lost more weight.
You're beautiful Mel - always have been, always will be.
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Re: How do some do it? Not letting weight matter
« Reply #24 on: Apr 4th, 2006, 8:03pm » |
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Mel-
Women (and to some degree men) have been brainwashed into what their body should look like. The ideal form has changed quite a bit over time. In medieval times, hefty was attractive, in the 1920’s skinny was in, and then came the 50’s. Ever see a picture of Marilyn Monroe? She was rather “curvaceous” and I’m not talking about her chest. Have you ever seen a woman that has been sucked, plucked, pinched, pumped, sandblasted and botoxed? Not a pretty sight with few clothes on. In 20 years when gravity works it’s magic on them they will be down right scary. The way I see it Mel, you are attractive, you have a good family and you have a good heart and mind. THAT is what counts in life!!! A person may have a perfect body and be a total jackass. All it makes him or her is a perfect jackass and no diet or exercise will change that.
Take Jonny’s advice, limit the carbos and alcohol and stay active.
-P.
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