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Topic: a couple thoughts for the morning (Read 102 times) |
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a couple thoughts for the morning
« on: Mar 26th, 2006, 12:29pm » |
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Official Announcement
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security
while you're actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!
...................................................
THIS SAYS IT ALL
This says it all for sure!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Somali arrives in ______________(fill in the blank) as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, and giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care and free education!"
The passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am Mexican".
The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!"
The person says "I no American, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful America!"
That person puts up his hand and says "I am from Middle East, I am not an American!"
He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you an
American?" She says, "No, I am from Russia!"
So he is puzzled, and asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The Russian lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says..."Probably at work!
................................tim
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