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Topic: Message to my family ... (Read 786 times) |
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Dave_Emond
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Message to my family ...
« on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 2:04pm » |
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Dear OUCH Board and Friends,
This letter has taken me three days to write, I have lost the capacity to write more than a sentence at a time. I'll post this to both the OUCH and CH.com message boards. I apologize for not responding to many notes or E-mails, but I have been very ill and appear to only be getting worse.
I have been experiencing "blackouts" of some type, not sure what they are, I just wake up here and there unsure of who I am or where, takes me a bit to regain my composure. Periods of confusion have been causing problems as well. Recently I did something to my computer and deleted everything, losing all programs and documents. I'm slowing getting some programs back up and finally got my Internet running again at least.
Health wise ... things are not going well. My muscles are deteriorating, my arms and hands go numb for days and my legs cramp up making walking very difficult. I've also come to realize that the muscle deterioration affects the inner muscles as well as the external. I'd rather not say what it's like to lose control of the inner muscles, amazing how involved they are in everything we do.
I was excited to join the OUCH Grants Committee, but I can do them no good in this state, I apologize that I must resign as I would be of no help anymore.
Still living in a trailer park waiting for a room at an assisted living apartment.
I'll have to find me a doctor up here in Buena Vista, but I've had enough of all the machines, constant blood tests, incredible never ending medical bills all of which all come down to nothing. They rattle off lists of problems and disorders I've never even heard of but then tell me there's nothing they can do. Pain medications are worthless and have been informed that mushrooms will only cause more problems in my condition. I also will not be considered as a brain donator for CH because of all these other problems.
I don't imagine I have long to go before this all ends, barring a miracle. My hope is to at least make it through summer and hopefully be able to spend many hours on the shores of a lake fishing, nothing as relaxing as that to me. Have to wonder if I'll be able to cast or even reel in a fish, but since I'm always cold I would love the heat and just getting outdoors. So, for many reasons, I hope this problem with my arms and hands resolve themselves, it would also be nice to write again and paint. Basically all I do these days is play online poker where all I have to do is point and click. This has been paying my bills and putting a little dent in the medical bills. Otherwise, bored out of my mind and just try to cope with the pain hour by hour.
Anyway, don't feel bad for me or pity, I don't want to fall into depression, I haven't given up and will hold on to my faith no matter what happens. Just mainly wanted to let everyone know why you haven't heard from me and may not for some time. Maybe I can answer some things in short sentences, but cannot at this time write this much.
My best to all of you and thanks for being such great family!
Take care and God Bless,
Dave
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Obstacles are those frightful things we see when we take our minds off our goals.
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BobG
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #1 on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 2:23pm » |
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Hey Dave,
Renon and I will says our prayers for you. Hope the pain(s) stay at low levels, the numbness goes away and 'inner' muscles stop doing what they're doing.
BobG
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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maffumatt
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #2 on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 2:24pm » |
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Get well Dave, and then get back here.
Matt
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sandie99
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #3 on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 2:27pm » |
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Dave,
I'm still going to say a prayer for you. 
Best wishes,
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Dave_Emond
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #4 on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 2:43pm » |
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Thanks all ... will hope and try.
Dave
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Melissa
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #5 on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 2:45pm » |
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Hoping you find some peace real soon Dave.
love,
 mel
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Jimi
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #6 on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 3:12pm » |
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I hate that your life has deteriated to this. It just breaks my heart. All I can do is continuing praying for you Dave. You are one of the strongest men I know.
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echo
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #7 on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 3:22pm » |
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Wish there was something I could type that would make a difference for you Dave. Hope you make it to the shores to drown a few minnows and pull in a few dinners. Nothing like fishing to allow one to escape life for alittle while.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
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nani
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #8 on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 4:00pm » |
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You are, and will continue to be, in my thoughts and prayers, Dave. Holler if you need us. hugs and love, nani
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #10 on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 4:49pm » |
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Dave--you'll always be in my prayers and thoughts...Scott
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Jasmyn
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #11 on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 6:39pm » |
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Ree
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #12 on: Mar 22nd, 2006, 6:55pm » |
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May you find peace in knowing we are all here rooting for you Dave... all the power and vibes and good thought going to you buddy... I will dedicate my hour tonight for you at our "Adoration Chapel"... God knows you. I will be sure he knows you need Him today... love to you Ree
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Proud Mom to US ARMY Kiowa OH58 PILOT~CWO2 SCOTT Hawaii, & USMC Vet~Now POLICE OFFICER SEAN, Citizen of the Month~ Breezy~ Nana 4 Matt/Mike&Aya, MIL To Shino Wife to Dave HI BILL!http://www.myspace.com/dungareespocket http://www.prohawaiian.com
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Charlie
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #13 on: Mar 23rd, 2006, 12:46am » |
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Damn Dave.
I hate hearing that you aren't getting some kind of break after so long. I wish I could do more than give you my thoughts and prayers.
Hang in Dave.
Charlie
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Dragnlance
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #14 on: Mar 23rd, 2006, 10:22am » |
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Dave,
You get well. You have your family praying for for you.
If I could, I would be there fishing right beside you.
Lance
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rickyshot
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #15 on: Mar 23rd, 2006, 10:37am » |
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I just finished saying a prayer for you Dave. I can't imagine all what you are going through.
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PollyPocket
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #16 on: Mar 23rd, 2006, 11:08am » |
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Hey Dave, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Pop in when you can so we can keep reminding you that we love you 
Just so you don't forget.
Jen
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Lizzie2
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #17 on: Mar 23rd, 2006, 11:18am » |
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Dave,
I'm so sorry to hear how bad things have gotten for you. I wish you could find a good doctor who could just figure this mess out and find a treatment that would help. I know you have to be terribly frustrated, but please hang on. I think your plan for fishing this summer is a lovely one. Something to look forward to.
I'll never forget sitting and chatting with you in the Nashville airport as we talked about our chaotic plane travels and other CH related things! That was some Gawd-awful travel weekend for us and a few others! Was nice to see a smiling face in you and Kathy (Magman's wife)...also Deej's mom!
Hugz to both you and Annette,
Carrie/Lizzie2
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Dave_Emond
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #18 on: Mar 23rd, 2006, 12:09pm » |
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Thanks again all my family, appreciate the prayers and thoughts.
Thought I should mention for those who don't know, Annette has moved back home to Canada and things look like they will offer her the better life she deserves.
Love ya All,
Dave
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LadyElaine
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #19 on: Mar 23rd, 2006, 2:01pm » |
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I feel the same way Jimi does. Your in my prayers always.
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Lizzie2
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #20 on: Mar 23rd, 2006, 2:24pm » |
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Dave,
I'm sorry - I didn't know about Annette moving back to Canada.
Once again, you're in my prayers, and I'm really hoping that you can catch a break. Let me know if there's anything at all I can do to help.
Hugz,
Carrie
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Carl_D
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #21 on: Apr 1st, 2006, 1:47am » |
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Brotherman, I just found this post, as I have not been keeping up on the board.
I hope and pray you are reading this.
I can be nothing short of pissed at God for what has happened with you. I know your faith and how it has sustained you. I cannot imagine how you have held onto it. I pray and battle for you all the time Dave. I don't understand why some people who do nothing but evil walk freely while those with hearts of gold and pure intentions like yourself suffer so. You know I am alway here for you man.
I get my phone on wednesday and provided you were able to keep the same number when you switched residences, I will be calling you first off, and even if it takes you 3 hours to say 3 words, I will be here to hear them. I am off wednesday and have no plans.
Keep fighting every way you can Dave. You have been an inspiration to me, and been there when no one else was. For that I am forever grateful. It's not too late for a miracle. Shadrack, Meshack and Abednigo were in the fire before their miracle came. Daniel was in the lions den. As long as you are among us, there is still time for divine intervention. Just hang in there and keep the faith!
Peace,
Carl
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Dave_Emond
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #22 on: Apr 1st, 2006, 12:54pm » |
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Hey Family,
Think I've died and no one has has the good grace to bury me yet! 
Please don't blame God, I don't.
If you pray, pray that I can die peacefully on a hot summer lakeshore.
Rich people are fighting over belongings left in my assisted living apartment, keeping me out. I have to vacate this trailer by the end of the month for tourist, leaving me homeless. If that turns out to be the case, I will then take my scooter and head for a lake in the mountains not to be found. Would rather go out there in "My Church" than waste away in a hospital.
I can try ... try ... to take phone calls, but can't promise I can answer. Same with emails or IM's.
My days consist of sitting here at the puter playing at PokerStars.com ... met a fellow CH'er who goes by the screen-name "horton ???" anyone know who this is?
I play long hours, until I can't tell a diamond from a heart or an ace from a spade. Years of playing NL Holdem, I can play on instinct by how others play. Poker players will understand this. Started with $25 and have been winning ever since. Payed many bills, but don't know why I payed so many medical bills off my winnings? What did they do for me? Been offered to play for the USA 5 Man Team in Barcelona in the WCOP on TV, but will pass due to health. Sad, playing against world champions has always been a dream.
This is tough just hitting keys and trying to write, but I do it to let you know how much you all mean to me. With the Poker, all I have to do is "point & click" or type code intials. Many ask about the OUCH logo I use, if possible I refer them to the site and suggest they help if they can. ALS has it's money, worthless, but they have it, so I push OUCH.
I figure I will pass on soon, which is okay, I'm ready. I will still fight and hope our winter ends here soon so I can at least head out to the mountains and lakes and move on in the way I prefer.
Those close to me can try IM or email and get my cell number as that is probably the only chance to get ahold of me.
I'm exhausted and crouched over in pain now from writing this much, amazing what we take for granted!
Days or months ... I'm not sure, but if you don't here from me again, you'll know why and don't mourn, I'm ready and fine with this.
Hope I helped at least one person here over the years.
God Bless you All !
Dave
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Obstacles are those frightful things we see when we take our minds off our goals.
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chewy
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Re: Message to my family ...
« Reply #23 on: Apr 1st, 2006, 1:00pm » |
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Quote:| If you pray, pray that I can die peacefully on a hot summer lakeshore. |
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Not me! I want to be chopped to pieces by the propella of my 35' Grady White after the 350 lb. Tuna I have fighting for 3 hours pulls me over!
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dennisoc
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lighten up
« Reply #24 on: Apr 2nd, 2006, 3:10am » |
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dave
look up from yer life
before you is a door...a path...just another one
get back to work on happiness...the here and now
pay attention to yer next breath...just another one
don't let life happen to you
peace is yers...if ya look up from yer life
call georgia when you get there
wage peace
den
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