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Topic: They Walk Among Us (Read 259 times) |
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Jimi
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They Walk Among Us
« on: Mar 7th, 2006, 3:49pm » |
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IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason? "Too many deer were being hit by cars," and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. This one was from Kingman, Kansas.
IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Alabama.
IDIOT CROSSING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?" She was a probation officer in Wichita, Kansas.!
IDIOT TALKING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often!" Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other! with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT WORKING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself, and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's Office, no less.
IDIOT WORKING 2
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As! I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Chevy dealership in Rock Hill, South Carolina!
They walk among us ... AND REPRODUCE
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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mynm156
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Re: They Walk Among Us
« Reply #1 on: Mar 7th, 2006, 3:52pm » |
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You aint kiddin!
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Dragnlance
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Re: They Walk Among Us
« Reply #2 on: Mar 7th, 2006, 3:57pm » |
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Quote:| They walk among us ... AND REPRODUCE |
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the correct term is BREED. They breed like rabbits.
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BobG
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Re: They Walk Among Us
« Reply #3 on: Mar 7th, 2006, 8:31pm » |
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Quote:| This was at the Chevy dealership |
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That pretty much explains that one.
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Jasmyn
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Re: They Walk Among Us
« Reply #4 on: Mar 8th, 2006, 2:35am » |
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on Mar 7th, 2006, 3:49pm, Jimi wrote:
Thanks Jimi, changed it a bit and made it now applicable to the African continent
NO IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a rural area. Our neighbors cannot call the local township administrative office as there is no such thing. We have Crocodile and Hippo sign-language on our road. It sounds like this: "EEeeee, Sugha... Hamba, Eeeeee!" and we don't want them to cross there anymore but we've got no choice, they have bigger teeth than us. This one was from lots of places close to water in Africa.
MANY IDIOTS SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "Yes" He smiled knowingly, nodded and let me go, saying: "The bribe will be 1000 000Mt." Happens all the time in Mozambique at any airport or border post.
IDIOTS DON'T CROSS THEY DIE
The stoplight on the corner don't have a buzz or electricity, so it's never safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a very intellectual co-pedestrian not of my country, when she asked if I knew what a buzzer was for. I explained that I don't know. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth, you're not from America?" She became blind.
IDIOTS TALKING
At a good-bye braai for a new coworker who was leaving the company due to "The Company's Heavy Turn-over Policy" our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often!" Everyone spoke at the same time. We couldn't look at each other! with that duck-the-headlights-I-like-my-shoes stare. This is called corporate Africa.
IDIOTS ARE ALWAYS WORKING
I work with several individuals who cannot even plug their power strips back into itself, because for the life of them they can't understand the mechanism of a plug and why a system would ever be able to turn on. Police in Africa are not technologically challenged, flush toilets are technology.
IDIOTS ARE NOT ALWAYS WORKING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the car were stolen. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly taking apart and selling off the rest of the car parts. We couldn't watch further as they chased us down the street with AK47's. This was the only dealership with a mechanic.
We walk amongst each other ... AND REPRODUCTION = WEALTH!
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| « Last Edit: Mar 8th, 2006, 2:37am by Jasmyn » |
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Jazz 
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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sandie99
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Re: They Walk Among Us
« Reply #5 on: Mar 8th, 2006, 3:02am » |
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Thanks, Jimi & Jasmyn!
Sanna
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"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: They Walk Among Us
« Reply #6 on: Mar 8th, 2006, 9:18am » |
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I work in computer hardware/software support for a Library that has over 250 highly educated Librarians.
At my estimate, 99% of the calls from people who can't log in, asking if their password has been changed is resolved by asking them if they have checked the Caps Lock key on their system.
The usual reply to that question is 'Oh...... Never mind. It's OK now.'.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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Azrael
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Re: They Walk Among Us
« Reply #7 on: Mar 8th, 2006, 12:04pm » |
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EEB... Ya should've seen the fits my wife had with a keyboard that had a button to lock all the other buttons (Actually... I haven't found a good reason for that button). Once I explained to her about the button, she made me buy her a new keyboard.
PFDAN.......................................... Drk^Angel
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"Hello police? I would like to report a robbery. Someone stole all my beer while I was drunk."
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echo
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Re: They Walk Among Us
« Reply #8 on: Mar 8th, 2006, 12:16pm » |
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on Mar 8th, 2006, 12:04pm, Drk^Angel wrote:.... (Actually... I haven't found a good reason for that button). ....
PFDAN.......................................... Drk^Angel |
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I use mine when to keep our damn cats from typing when they walk across or lay on the keyboard when I'm out of the room.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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Ueli
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The first thing I do with a new keyboard: rip off the capsl ock key. I new have troubles with an accidentally engaged caps lock.
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ExplodingEyeBall
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I can't think of anything clever to put here.
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Re: They Walk Among Us
« Reply #10 on: Mar 8th, 2006, 12:48pm » |
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If you know the right place and method. The entire keyboard can be remapped using the registry editor.
I've disabled several keys on some of our staff systems including the Caps Lock, Print Scrn, Pause.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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