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Topic: Make me laugh ok I really need it! (Read 255 times) |
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Ghost
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Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« on: Mar 6th, 2006, 2:50pm » |
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Three Rednecks were working on the BellSouth tower - Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed?" "Steve's wife gave it to me," Jed replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?" Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'." She said, "No, I'm not a widow." And I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are".
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Ghost
CH.com Alumnus
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #1 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 2:52pm » |
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A woman, pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach.
Luckily, she and the babies survived.
The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate.
She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.
All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asked the mother. "I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out" replied the daughter. The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years before.
About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out." Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years before.
A week later her son walked into the room in tears. "It's okay" said the Mom, "I know what happened, you were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out."
"No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog..."
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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nani
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Got kudzu?
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #2 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 3:03pm » |
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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nani
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Got kudzu?
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #3 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 3:06pm » |
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #4 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 3:09pm » |
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I've been in dire need of a laugh the last few weeks and that last one from Nani did it.
Thanks Nani. 
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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Ghost
CH.com Alumnus
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Farting relieves the pressure
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #5 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 3:12pm » |
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I am gonna laugh for weeks on that one!!!!
My wife will pester me as for why and I'll just laugh even harder! 
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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pattik
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #6 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 3:17pm » |
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It was an innocent mistake, but nevertheless, a moment later Maurice found himself receiving the full brunt of the mummy's wrath.
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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cootie
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sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #7 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 5:22pm » |
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I ran to town to get groceries today and stock up on stuff.....stopped off at my favorite Penny's store to check out what's left of there sale. When I checked out I signed my check "Pennys" Pam
I was so embarrassed......what a dumbass I can be !!!
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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Barto
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Can I dig out the pain?
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #8 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 8:19pm » |
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A pirate walks into a bar and approaches the bartender. The bartender notices that the pirate is walking funny and it looks as if he has a steering wheel in his pants. The pirate orders a beer and sits down on the stool. The bartender comments "Hey, buddy. Is that a steering wheel in your pants?" "Yarrrr" the pirate replies. "It's driving me nuts!"
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Jonny
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Give me a shovel Ill dig my own grave!
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #9 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 8:40pm » |
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on Mar 6th, 2006, 8:19pm, Barto wrote:A pirate walks into a bar and approaches the bartender. The bartender notices that the pirate is walking funny and it looks as if he has a steering wheel in his pants. The pirate orders a beer and sits down on the stool. The bartender comments "Hey, buddy. Is that a steering wheel in your pants?" "Yarrrr" the pirate replies. "It's driving me nuts!"
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LMMFAO!!!!.....Now thats fuckin funny....LOL
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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doodles
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So many cats...so little time
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #10 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 9:15pm » |
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LOL Loved the dogs! 
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Life's like a hurricane... just when you think you know where its headed, it changes direction without warning.
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Kate in Oz
New Board Old Timer
 
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #11 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 9:26pm » |
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A blonde, a Jew and a bear walk into a bar....
Bartender goes over and says "what is this.. some kind of joke?"
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Jonny
CH.com Alumnus
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Give me a shovel Ill dig my own grave!
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #12 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 9:48pm » |
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Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
A washing machine wont follow you around for two weeks after you drop a load in it
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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BobG
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #13 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 9:57pm » |
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Get one of these. It'll make ya smile 'til ya hurt.
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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maffumatt
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #14 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 11:07pm » |
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Jasmyn
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #15 on: Mar 7th, 2006, 12:14am » |
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From SA Goaty:
BTW: a "spietkop" is a traffic officer
Spietkop...
Kempton Park spietkop pulls off a blonde in one of those new smart Sentra's.
"Marrem, can I see your drivers liscence please" says the
spietkop.
"What is a drivers liscence?" queries the blonde.
"Its dat little square fing" explained the spietkop, "Wif a
picture of you on it!!"
The blonde scratches through her handbag and comes across a square
make-up box, opens it, looks in the mirror, closes it and hands it over to the spietkop.
He opens it, looks in the mirror, hands it back to her and says
"It's OK Marrem, you can go...I didn't realise you is also a spietkop!"
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Jazz
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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cootie
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sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #16 on: Mar 7th, 2006, 12:35am » |
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26 reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives: (by dog dazed Pam)
1 The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's
name.
5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
6. A dog's parents never visit.
7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in
your wallet or desk.
10. Dogs seldom outlive you.
11. Dogs can't talk.
12. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go
24 hours a day.
13. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
16. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died,
would you get another dog?"
17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without
calling you a pervert.
19. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the
heater.
22. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
23. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
24. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pick-up truck.
25. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman- Marcus.
26. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
« Reply #17 on: Mar 7th, 2006, 2:55am » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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