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Topic: Apprehensive about 'living' (Read 321 times) |
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BMoneeTheMoneeMan
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Apprehensive about 'living'
« on: Mar 2nd, 2006, 10:56pm » |
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Next week my wife and I planned to go out and party and have a fun time......but i am getting nervous as hell. I wanna have a drink......maybe even a whole one, but i know i am gonna get a visit from the beast.
Goddamn it, as much as i try to lead a normal life despite the CH, sometimes i get scared. I just wanna go out and have a good time with the wifey, its been forever!!!
And, of course, just because i really, really want to go out and I am excited about it, thats when the beast is really gonna cornhole me, so even after huffing O2, I wont be in the partying mood.
Jesus, just thinking about it is making me almost sick. The thumping music, the smoke, the flickering lights..........maybe i need to rethink this.
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Melissa
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #1 on: Mar 2nd, 2006, 11:01pm » |
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 One of the ladies here came across the same situation. Eventually she said, bring it on, and went out and had some drinks. She got hit, went to the bathroom, injected some trex, went back out after it left and kept on having a good time.
You never know until you try hon... What have you got to lose??
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #2 on: Mar 2nd, 2006, 11:03pm » |
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Quote:maybe i need to rethink this.
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Yeah maybe you will. But only for a while Bmonee.
Go somewhere else. You CAN have fun drinking a coffee or a coke. You can have fun while shooting pool, seeing a movie, or doing a hundred other things that are fun.
I'm counting on you to think of something else besides a loud incoherant atmosphere where you'll get hit.
come on....you can do this. 
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tanner
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #3 on: Mar 2nd, 2006, 11:06pm » |
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I'm sorry B,
I don't know what your triggers might be so i can't make a real judgement call. i can only tell ya that this f##k#r hits the s#it outa me anyway, so i am a quality of life kinda guy.
i wish you the best and hope nothing but some pfdans for ya!
....................................tim
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Mr. Happy
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #4 on: Mar 2nd, 2006, 11:08pm » |
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on Mar 2nd, 2006, 10:56pm, BMoneeTheMoneeMan wrote:| Jesus, just thinking about it is making me almost sick. The thumping music, the smoke, the flickering lights..........maybe i need to rethink this. |
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Sounds like a hell zone for someone with Perfectly Justifiable Paranoia. Maybe rethink the definition of a good time, and always have as aisle seat near the exit. I dunno.
There are always options.
RJ
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| « Last Edit: Mar 2nd, 2006, 11:09pm by Mr. Happy » |
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cootie
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #5 on: Mar 2nd, 2006, 11:54pm » |
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I could NEVER compare pain with ya's but I "kinda" know a little teeny bit of how you feel and I LOVE to go out and party with my freinds. I ALWAYS get a....a......starts with an m but won't say the word in comparison to what you get. But is sucks and ya do DREAD it and then overamp on the signs maybe. I get it from twistin my neck back and forth tryin to talk to everyone. I don't get what you get but I do get blood red eyes and other cute abnormalities......seems you go into a time warp when ya begin to feel it come on. Everyone is laughin and havein a good time and I loose tract of what there talkin about and what there sayin. Yeah I could take sumthin.....but if I had some drinks I know what will happen.......peuk and roll in it Pam
NOT comparein here......I don't have the right and only tryin to say I sort of understand that panic feeling in my own degree. I look so forward to goin out but not bein left out. HOPE you can go have sum fun. I know people that get hit with ch tho and go do a shot and there good to go......does that work for you to try ?
PS: Hope I didn't step outa line here......your pain is far worse.
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| « Last Edit: Mar 2nd, 2006, 11:56pm by cootie » |
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BMoneeTheMoneeMan
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #6 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 12:11am » |
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on Mar 2nd, 2006, 11:54pm, cootie wrote:
NOT comparein here......I don't have the right and only tryin to say I sort of understand that panic feeling in my own degree. I look so forward to goin out but not bein left out. HOPE you can go have sum fun. I know people that get hit with ch tho and go do a shot and there good to go......does that work for you to try ?
PS: Hope I didn't step outa line here......your pain is far worse. |
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Please, Doll, you can say the M word any time you want! I really enjoy all input.
I used to have quite a few clients in the nightclub scene. I was with a couple of teams that bought or remodeled places and made a go of it. I really enjoyed the scene, knew lots of the staff that worked everywhere and always had a great time.
But its been a while.
I didnt used to have clusters.
I worry about the meathead bouncer dude thinking i am going to the car to do dugs and then fucking with me.
I worry about getting hit and needing to rush to the car to get the O2 and being detained by lines, cant get the check, where's the wifey, where's my credt card.......so many things could delay me and that could lead to some bad news.
Of course, i know, dont think about the negatives. If you always think about what COULD happen, you'd never leave the house.
I have already shunned any of our friends from coming because i figured they would add delay when i need it least. But, Krista is gonna be with me, and she is my supporter (and extremely beautiful and hott wifey), and I'll have O2 and trex in my car, which cant be more than a couple minutes away...........I should be ok.
I think
$
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Jasmyn
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #7 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 2:27am » |
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BMee, take a chance, take a risk... all or nothing, being prepared is all a person can do
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purpleydog
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #8 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 3:08am » |
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Keep the trex on you. Hit it if you need to. Have a good time!
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sandie99
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #9 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 3:21am » |
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You will be okay! Vibes from the ch family will follow you when you go!
Don't let the beast decide if you can have fun or not. Have a good time inspite of the beast.
Look, I've been officially PF since April 05, but I have had shadows and one mild hit since (which I don't count). One trigger for me is popcorn. Not every time, but sometimes. But I love popcorn! Sometimes I just have to have it... Sometimes I recall that eating popcorn can bring a message from the beast afterwards. But do I care? No.
So last night felt like eating popcorn. One demanding course ended yesterday and I felt like celebrating a little. So I ate butter-flavored popcorn. It was so yummy! Well, I had some shadows this morning... Do I regret eating pop secret? No. Absolutely not.
My advice to you: go out. Have fun! And let us know how it went. When you're bit scared, you're also well prepared for it. You'll be fine.
Best wishes,
Sanna
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Kirk
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #10 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 5:15am » |
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Oh hell just go to the Pelican and have a good time. Krista likes the sunsets over there anyway.
Or it could rain. Remember its 30 minutes from there to my place if you run low on Trex or 02, so plan ahead.
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BarbaraD
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #11 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 6:49am » |
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Ok, here's my "advice".. (take it or leave it -- that's what so great about advice). Go to the party and if you "even" think alcohol might trigger the beast - drink a coke. I've found over the years that "fun" is in your head anyhow, so you can have a good time drinking a coke. Did it for years....
After years of "no drinking", I can take a drink now without it triggering the beast, but am out of the habit and don't very often and still have a great time at parties and can still drive all the drunks home.
And if you do get hit --have some trex handy. Go to the bathroom and inject. Stay there till you quit banging your head - get it back together and go back to the party. But at least you'll be out of the house and with humans for a while. And you'll have won - not the beast.
Hugs BD
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E-Double
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #12 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 8:26am » |
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Smack the Anxiety out of your head!
It's time to live my brother!
Go for it and know that honestly the worst thing that could happen is an attack.
It would happen at home so it might happen while out.
Just make sure to be ready with whatever abortive you use!!!
You will feel a hell of a lot better, mentally, if you go out regardless!
Trust a former hermit!!!
Life is good!
Eric
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chewy
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #13 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 8:32am » |
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Quote:I just wanna go out and have a good time with the wifey, its been forever!!!
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Go ahead.
Quote:I wanna have a drink......maybe even a whole one, but i know i am gonna get a visit from the beast.
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If I go to the party and throw a match in my hair my head will be on fire and ruin everything. I wont throw a match in my hair.
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| « Last Edit: Mar 3rd, 2006, 8:33am by chewy » |
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doodles
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #14 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 9:30am » |
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Fear is the beast in everyday form. Fear of the unknown keeps so many of us in our boring everyday routine because what if...this happens or that or.... Quiet your mind and remember what my mother always told me: "Sometimes the very thing you dread going to, can turn out to be the most fun you've ever had... so GO!" Have fun and let us know what happens! We are all behind you!
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cootie
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #15 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 10:55am » |
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Set up a game plan ahead of time.....you'll feel alot more relieved and talk to the hottie wife about it so she knows too. Have her in charge of the credit card (cringe......grin and bear it)....but let her be in charge of payin for drinks dinner whatever and let the waiters whatever aware of that early on so they don't see you as skippin out if ya gotta take off. Aren't there certain drinks that don't trigger for some like vodka or sumthin safer IF yer gonna drink....or wine maybe ? (wine gives me a great buzz but a greater ha if I drink too much) Have trex on y and head for a dark corner or bathroom. Or sit sumwhere where it is private you can give yerself a shot or is that a NO NO to even think about ? Esp if bouncers are watchin for dopers and wierd shit.....that mite not work. And do the bathrooms for mens room have lines ? I'd come up with a plan and talk to the wife and go have fun. If she see's you give her that LOOK and you start to get up to go towards the door or bathroom she'd know why. But I suppose BIG CLUBS mite be more aware drug problems and be "watching" and not take what yer doin well ??? I'm used to casual bar scenes here......no big town effects. I hope you have the best time ya ever had and want to do it again !!!!! Were goin out this weekend too but supposed to be girls nite out. Some of the girls are too picky with haveing to have 3 course meals and waited on hand and foot and don't like bar food. Sum don't want to stand around and wait in line to get in to eat or find a table to see the bands.......sum have bad knees and can't tolerate standing long. So hell with it......me and Brad are goin out and goin to meet them sumwhere and try to hold them a table while they figure out there face feeding delema. I like haveing a plan Pam
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Dragnlance
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #16 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 11:03am » |
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Hey Monee man,
I say, go out and have fun. We all know the beast is gonna show, as it always does.
BUT, if you don't go, the monster wins another round.
Dont let it. Not ever.
Take the chance, live your life, be prepared, but dont let it drag you down.
I have a friend that has a major migraine problem who told me.. and I quote...
" my whole life has passed me by because of these HA..."
Dont let this happen to you. Live your life, and dont let the monster ruin your life
Lance
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Sandy_C
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #17 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 11:05am » |
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Go! You have nothing to lose. I would avoid alcohol. But, I would really recommend that you DO take another couple with you. That way, if you get a hit, you can go to the bathroom and do the trex, or you can go out to your car for the 02, and leave your wife inside, safely sitting with your friends. When all is over, go back in and enjoy again. On your way out the door though, say something to the bouncer like "just got a message from the babysitter - gotta go home and beat the kid - be back in a few minutes".
Just my 
Sandy
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #18 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 1:17pm » |
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on Mar 2nd, 2006, 11:03pm, Linda_Howell wrote:
Yeah maybe you will. But only for a while Bmonee.
Go somewhere else. You CAN have fun drinking a coffee or a coke. You can have fun while shooting pool, seeing a movie, or doing a hundred other things that are fun.
I'm counting on you to think of something else besides a loud incoherant atmosphere where you'll get hit.
come on....you can do this. |
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Linda's right!!!
Live now!!!
Soon we will all be dust, and there's no turning back.
If needed, watch 'The Notebook'.
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Lobster
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #19 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 2:01pm » |
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Do shrooms. You will have more fun than she will.
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| « Last Edit: Mar 3rd, 2006, 2:01pm by Lobster » |
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Gator
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #20 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 4:06pm » |
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Yo Monee.
Last night my youngest son had an Orchestra concert. I knew I was going to get hit. I always do. I also always carry a hard eyeglass case with syringes loaded with trex. At the first twinge, I whipped out a syringe and shot the beast between the eyes right there in my seat in the Community Center. It was a great concert.
Tonight, my son is accompanying the pianist in a local restaurant with his basoon. I know without a doubt that I will get hit while I am there, but I am going. I will have my little eyeglasses case with 5 syringes of trex preloaded and ready to go. At the first twinge, I'm going to excuse myself, go to the restroom and give myself a shot, then go back out there and enjoy the performance.
I hate the beast and I do avoid some things that will antagonize him, but I refuse to miss out on the important things in my life because of him.
Don't let this crap run your life. Take the wife and have a good time. If drinking triggers you then don't drink. If you can't have a good time without drinking, the beast is the least of your problems.
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lionsound
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #21 on: Mar 3rd, 2006, 8:03pm » |
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on Mar 2nd, 2006, 10:56pm, BMoneeTheMoneeMan wrote: The thumping music, the smoke, the flickering lights..........maybe i need to rethink this.
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Gee, that sounds exactly like when we all went out dancing at the convention last summer. SomebodEE dragged me of my room after a ch/meegraine combo and made me go. I felt like crap, my head hurt and I went anyway..I had a great time!!
You NEED to get out, it's so important for you and your wife too! Keep that trex in your pocket if you can and there's always ice at the bar.
GO have fun! Live! Breathe!
May you be well and PF,
lionsound
P.S. way to be, Gator!
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| « Last Edit: Mar 3rd, 2006, 8:05pm by lionsound » |
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Gator
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Re: Apprehensive about 'living'
« Reply #22 on: Mar 4th, 2006, 12:35am » |
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on Mar 3rd, 2006, 8:03pm, lionsound wrote:
ROFLMAO Wonder who THAT might be? 
My son played the piece he is playing for State Solo and Ensemble Competition tomorrow. Damn, he's good.  
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