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Topic: Needs! (Read 175 times) |
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Ghost
CH.com Alumnus
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Farting relieves the pressure
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this is long, but definitely worth it.........
Mars and Venus ------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?" I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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doodles
New Board Junior
So many cats...so little time
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Posts: 95
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Re: Needs!
« Reply #1 on: Mar 1st, 2006, 10:15am » |
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bauwa hahahaha!! Ya get what ya deserve!
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Life's like a hurricane... just when you think you know where its headed, it changes direction without warning.
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Dragnlance
New Board Hall of Famer
Monster bait
 
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Re: Needs!
« Reply #2 on: Mar 1st, 2006, 1:43pm » |
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LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TOO FUNNY, BUT OH SOOO TRUE!!!!
DRAGN
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BarbaraD
CH.com Alumnus
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Hugs to ya
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Re: Needs!
« Reply #3 on: Mar 1st, 2006, 4:00pm » |
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Have you thought about shopping around for a new girlfriend. I'd say you're not getting any for a LONG time to come...
LMAO.....
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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ArCane
New Board Old Timer
Onward through the fog
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Re: Needs!
« Reply #4 on: Mar 1st, 2006, 4:15pm » |
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That was great
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Alchemy’s First Law of Equivalent Exchange: To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
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Jasmyn
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Each day will be a new trick in life's journey
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Re: Needs!
« Reply #5 on: Mar 1st, 2006, 4:23pm » |
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Men!
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Jazz
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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