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Topic: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it..... (Read 367 times) |
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BarbaraD
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For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« on: Feb 13th, 2006, 9:26pm » |
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This was just too funny not to share. If you guys HAVE to read it ... well, do it at your own risk... It IS for girls only... Hugs BD
I know that some of us no longer need to worry about that time of the month any more, but this letter just goes to show you that men not women are making feminine hygiene products.
Dear Kotex,
I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my panty liner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:
-Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
-Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
-Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
-Try Kotex blah, blah, blah other products
Obviously the person behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman TO HER FACE that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh.
See what happens and report back. I'll wait. While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I guaran-damn-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated.
Look... females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many of which contain alcohol.
Printing out shit advice while sneaking in ads for the brand THAT WAS ALREADY PURCHASED is just plain annoying, not to mention rude and enough to send a girl running to the Always brand. Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us
up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the shit in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer!
There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. The ultimate goal of your product should be functional invisibility at every stage, including at the point of purchase.
So take your tips for living and shove them right up your a - - . (Try drinking six to eight glasses of water to make you feel fresher while you're doing it!)
Ovarily Yours,
Miss PMS
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kimmiedawn81
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #1 on: Feb 13th, 2006, 9:29pm » |
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Amen sister!
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Karla
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #2 on: Feb 13th, 2006, 9:56pm » |
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right on! You tell em! I'll second it!
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Karla
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Kate in Oz
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #3 on: Feb 13th, 2006, 10:11pm » |
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Redd
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #4 on: Feb 13th, 2006, 10:36pm » |
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Although it's been a numbe of years since I've had to concern myself with this I do remember it well...yet choose to forget at every opportunity...
HAHA
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Mr. Happy
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #5 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 12:19am » |
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Glad to see the anger management class is going _so_ well.
Keep yer knees together, and one hand on yer zipper.
RJ
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May those who don't want any
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Jasmyn
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #6 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 1:50am » |
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LOL Barb, this is one instance where the saying:
"When life gives you lemons then make lemonade" does not apply.
I remember the first advise my grandma gave me when I became a woman. She said: "Jazzy my dear, from now on, always keep a lemon between your legs when you go courting."
It took me a few years to get the gist of it but hell I wasted a lot of lemons  , then again... better safe than sorry 
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Jazz
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BobG
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #7 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 4:24am » |
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Can I add a rant about Kotex? Thanks, I will.
Back when I had my first car in 1962, a black '47 Ford, Kotez pads were layers of gauze and great for applying polish and wax. Later Kotex changed to cotten filled pads. Damn things fell apart. The change to cotton balls had to be a non-car guy's idea. Dumbass!
And to bring this back to a women only thread, it was my mother that gave me the wax-on wax-off Kotex trick.
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BarbaraD
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #8 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 7:27am » |
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LMAO - Ok, Bob - write your "man's" letter to Kotex! Those cars are important.... 
Hugs BD
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rickyshot
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ouch
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #9 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 8:27am » |
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And while we are at it, why the hell do they scent those things. Now there is a good place to put perfume right next to a tender area. And ditto to those packages with the flowers etc, a plain wrap will do. Marketing is a scream.
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aprilbee
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #10 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 9:25am » |
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LOL!
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #11 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 9:32am » |
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Barb...
Ummm.......
Happy Valentine's Day??? 
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Ghost
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #12 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 10:29am » |
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Dont forget, Kotex the best cleaner for Shotguns ever invented!!!!!
I bet The CHenz didnt realize we ranked them up there with our guns! 
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
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burnt-toast
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #13 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 11:02am » |
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Here's a little know fact...
Unscented Fem. Hygene products make great scent dispensers when deer hunting and using attractor scents.
Not only keeps scent trails fresh all day but makes finding stand site(s) much easier in the dark!
Clerks at the counter must think I'm dealing with a real gusher when I stock up for the season!
Tom
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BarbaraD
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #14 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 2:15pm » |
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I KNEW you guys couldn't stay out of this one.... Maybe Kotex is missing a real market here. Car polishers, deer scents... geezzz!!!! We'll be calling them UNIPADS next....
Hugs BD
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Sandy_C
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #15 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 2:23pm » |
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UNIPADS ! I love it. Now, let's just get the guys to wear one for a week as a trial run. Wonder how they will like wearing a diaper between their legs while they wax on and wax off.
Sandy
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llreed
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #16 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 9:21pm » |
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Barbara,
You go girl... Brown bag would be so cool... Can't say I have read the package lately but I'm sure it's there. I say the water thing is a bunch of sh#@. We are already blotted lets add pissing every 30 minutes to the menu...
New the boys couldn't leave it alone. Thanks for the laugh.
LOL!!!!
llreed
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pubgirl
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #17 on: Feb 14th, 2006, 9:32pm » |
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LOL Barb! So true.
Can I rant about Tampax ad's too?
Over here they always show a woman wearing tight white trousers and going swimming or doing gymnastics in a leotard.
Has to be a man devised those adverts as well.
W
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BobG
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #18 on: Feb 15th, 2006, 5:17am » |
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on Feb 14th, 2006, 9:32pm, pubgirl wrote:
Over here they always show a woman wearing tight white trousers and going swimming or doing gymnastics in a leotard.
W |
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They show that same women here. Before and after.
Before she discovers Tampax she’s a fat, old, wrinkled, humpbacked witch with a houseful of bratty kids and a deadbeat husband.
After she uses Tampax her hair is smartly styled, make up is flawless, posture is perfect, complexion is wrinkle free (Preparation H is good for that), looks 21 years old, gets a high paying job, all her kids are honor students, and her husband actually remembers her name.
Tampaz……..them’s good stuff.
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broomhilda
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #19 on: Feb 15th, 2006, 8:59pm » |
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Suck it up Princess...
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Langa
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #20 on: Feb 16th, 2006, 6:53am » |
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LMAO!!!
This is too funny...but so right on the money too...
Question, why drink 6-8 glasses of water a day? So you can retain an extra 10 pounds of water during your period?  No Thanks.
Langa
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maffumatt
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Re: For WOMEN only -- and I mean it.....
« Reply #21 on: Feb 16th, 2006, 9:05am » |
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girl cooties...ewwww
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