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Topic: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN....... (Read 352 times) |
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BarbaraD
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ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« on: Jan 26th, 2006, 6:34pm » |
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WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY
Monday, January 30, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To ! Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoid ing The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning!
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration, Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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LeLimey
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #1 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 6:44pm » |
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Where do we sign up goats and husbands?? 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Jonny
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #2 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 7:20pm » |
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I got your back, Goatboy 
"Man's 50 Rules for Women":
1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
3. Don't make us guess.
4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."
7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
8. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
9. Sunday = Sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.
11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
12. You have enough clothes.
13. You have too many shoes.
14. Crying is blackmail.
Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
15. Your brother is an idiot.
16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
17. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries.
18. Share the bathroom.
19. Share the closet.
20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
22. Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob in the morning.
23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
24. Check your oil.
25. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Killroy 2.0
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #3 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 7:28pm » |
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on Jan 26th, 2006, 7:20pm, Jonny wrote:21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
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I think that this one is a given with most of us on here
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Do the walls speak to you? Do you follow the Geek Messiah? DO YOU COMPLY?!
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maffumatt
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #4 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 7:29pm » |
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Class #15
How to train your woman to do all the things learned in classes 1-14
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Jonny
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Give me a shovel Ill dig my own grave!
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Posts: 26213
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #5 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 7:31pm » |
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on Jan 26th, 2006, 7:28pm, Gena wrote:
I think that this one is a given with most of us on here
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I dont know about that...just how many women are chronic here?
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| « Last Edit: Jan 26th, 2006, 7:31pm by Jonny » |
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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chewy
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #6 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 7:36pm » |
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Quote:Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? |
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I know! I know!
Pick me! Pick me!
It doesnt have to. The woman of the house does that for it!
What do I win?
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Redd
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #7 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 7:57pm » |
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on Jan 26th, 2006, 7:31pm, Jonny wrote:
I dont know about that...just how many women are chronic here?
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I'm one.....Number ONE...
(and don't you forget it)
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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BobG
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #8 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 8:03pm » |
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Quote:| The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. |
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I know the answer to this one. It's that Avocado Green thing with a window in the door that the wife uses to store cobwebs.
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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Jonny
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Give me a shovel Ill dig my own grave!
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #9 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 8:07pm » |
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on Jan 26th, 2006, 7:57pm, Redd715 wrote:
I'm one.....Number ONE...
(and don't you forget it)
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Yes Dear 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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maffumatt
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #10 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 8:12pm » |
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on Jan 26th, 2006, 8:03pm, BobG wrote:
I know the answer to this one. It's that Avocado Green thing with a window in the door that the wife uses to store cobwebs. |
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LMAO!!!!!!!!!
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Kevin_M
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #11 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 8:44pm » |
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Quote:| ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN....... |
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Class Dismissed!!!!
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Opus
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #12 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 11:19pm » |
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Mens classes?
I know a woman who could really use classes 1,4,5,7,13, and 14.
Opus/Paul
PS Class 12 is useless, all it does is make her think she can streach out shopping to 6 hours, even on a work night.
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| « Last Edit: Jan 26th, 2006, 11:20pm by Opus » |
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cootie
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #13 on: Jan 26th, 2006, 11:37pm » |
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NO not the cat ! What about trainin men to 'call for a fuckin pizza'......that's my latest gripe !! I told him to go ahead and call for one.......he said he will NEVER do that and got pissed. Then miss short fused me got pisster !! So.......he had soup for dinner Pam 
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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LeLimey
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #14 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 3:08am » |
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Women who are chronic here??
Well... I'm hoping with these ole RC seeds I won't be for much longer!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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sandie99
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #15 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 8:19am » |
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Good one, Barbara! Thanks for sharing it! 
BTW, I'm a chronic. Luckily in remission...
Best wishes & PF days,
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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E-Double
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #16 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 8:22am » |
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on Jan 26th, 2006, 7:36pm, chewy wrote:
I know! I know!
Pick me! Pick me!
It doesnt have to. The woman of the house does that for it!
What do I win? |
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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AussieBrian
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #17 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 9:05am » |
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Not the toilet seat again!!
(Ladies, look before you leak.)
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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Ghost
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #18 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 9:24am » |
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Ok thanks for getting my back now im here goats got lots of klass kinder garted klass, pursd grate klass, sekund grate klass, turt grate klass, fort grate klass, fist grate klass, sex grate klass, sebent grate klass, ate grate klass, and da rest! see I got loads ob klass!!!!!
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Ghost
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #19 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 9:25am » |
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Oh and before I forget if the seat thang bothers the CHenz use THE SINK !!!!! we do!
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #20 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 10:37am » |
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Quote:| 22. Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob in the morning. |
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Sounds like my brother  ...I just always remind him it works both ways...
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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pattik
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #21 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 10:51am » |
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on Jan 27th, 2006, 9:25am, Ghost wrote:| Oh and before I forget if the seat thang bothers the CHenz use THE SINK !!!!! we do! |
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 Well now, isn't that a great image. Remind me to quit using the sink for ANYTHING.
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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imnotbub
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #22 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 2:45pm » |
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Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoid ing The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
My wife asked me, when I gave her hell for complaining about the toilet seat, if I ever sat on a toilet when the seat was up. I said yes, once, and I never did it again. The lesson there was to look before you sit.
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Life may not be good, but I think it beats the alternative, and if it doesn't, we'll find out soon enough
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imnotbub
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #23 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 2:46pm » |
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I was going to post a picture of myself until I saw the little guy at the left of my posts. That's ME at work. Just in case you were curious.
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Life may not be good, but I think it beats the alternative, and if it doesn't, we'll find out soon enough
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Charlie
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Re: ADULT CLASSES FOR MEN.......
« Reply #24 on: Jan 27th, 2006, 6:35pm » |
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Quote:| Well now, isn't that a great image. Remind me to quit using the sink for ANYTHING. |
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Don't worry. It's not so bad if you take the dishes out first.
Charlie 
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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