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Topic: BAD American (Read 357 times) |
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BarbaraD
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BAD American
« on: Jan 7th, 2006, 11:08am » |
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YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by: George Carlin
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level
governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not
entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they
want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry
Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm
freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the
desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been
persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson
practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem
and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running
from them.
I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the
law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's
good.....and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money. I think if you are
too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be
running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or
trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should
be targets.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
parents.
And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
We need our country back!
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cynjeep89
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Re: BAD American
« Reply #1 on: Jan 7th, 2006, 5:17pm » |
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Here's one big old Amen!!!!
Always loved Carlin!!
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Charlie
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Re: BAD American
« Reply #2 on: Jan 7th, 2006, 6:43pm » |
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It's been around a long time.
Carlin disavows it on his website.
It's written to sound like him too.
I love George Carlin though. One of my favorites is his sales pitch bits that he does. Hilarious.
Charlie
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| « Last Edit: Jan 7th, 2006, 7:38pm by Charlie » |
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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LeLimey
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
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Re: BAD American
« Reply #3 on: Jan 7th, 2006, 7:31pm » |
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Who ever wrote it gets a flippeneh from me!
Can I be a bad Brit please?
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Charlie
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Re: BAD American
« Reply #4 on: Jan 7th, 2006, 7:51pm » |
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You are so bad Helen.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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floridian
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Here are some real Carlin quotes:
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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I don't have any beliefs or allegiances. I don't believe in this country, I don't believe in religion, or a god, and I don't believe in all these man-made institutional ideas.
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The two big mistakes were the belief in a sky god -- that there's a man in the sky with 10 things he doesn't want you to do and you'll burn for a long time if you do them -- and private property, which I think is at the core of our failure as a species. That's the source of my indignations, my dissatisfactions, however it comes out on the stage. I feel betrayed by the people I'm part of, these creatures, these magnificent creatures.
...
Q: Speaking of how you fit, where do you fit on the political spectrum?
A: If the center line is really there, and I were anywhere, I would come down on the left of center.
Q: Right there with Bill Clinton.
A: I like Bill, by the way. If there were only one cherry pie in the world, and Bill Clinton owned it, I might get a piece of it. If Bush or Reagan owned it, you'd have to kill them to get a piece of pie.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Q: Do you really care if they "balance the stupid fucking budget"?
A: I don't care much about the outcome. I'd like for people to feel better and have better lives, but I don't think that's in the cards through political action. I think bloodshed is still the way you get dramatic change. That'll never happen because they've got all the guns now. At least they've got the nice guns, the big ones, the ones with night vision.
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The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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If it requires a uniform it's a worthless endeavor.
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I frankly don't give a fuck how it all turns out in this country - or anywhere else, for that matter. I think the human game was up a long time ago (when the high priests and traders took over), and now we're just playing out the string. And that is, of course, precisely what I find so amusing: the slow circling of the drain by a once promising species, and the sappy, ever-more-desperate belief in this country that there is actually some sort of "American Dream," which has merely been msiplaced.
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