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Topic: new member - because its fall (Read 239 times) |
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cschick
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I really hate to be joining this site but I have a horrible feeling I am going to be needing some support over the next month to month and a half. I was diagnosed with clusters last year in mid-September, they lasted through the end of October last year and then suddenly stopped (which I now understand is common). I was not given any medication last year for the clusters, in fact, the only thing that was done for me was I was given demerol in the ER and sent home to "sleep it off". HA!  Well, I am armed with information and dangerous this year.  I know what I am in for and I will not be talked down to and treated like an idiot this year, no sir. Sorry, I kinda got off on a tangent there for a moment. Anyway, my clusters returned last Friday night at 12:45am. I sat on the floor and cried until 2:45am when it left as soon as it came on. I remember very clearly the pain that comes with these horrible headaches and I am going to need support from as many people as possible. Last year my husband hid the handgun from me because I was ready to shoot myself in the head. I would sit and beat myself in the head with the palms of my hands as hard as I could. I really thought I was going insane. I never told my husband that until I was reading some of the posts here and saw that I wasn't the only one that does that. I wonder why we do that? Anyone able to explain that to me?
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vig
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New Board Hall of Famer
CHit Happens
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Re: new member - because its fall
« Reply #1 on: Oct 6th, 2004, 11:35pm » |
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"I really thought I was going insane."
The pain we endure is beyond description. It's hard for spouses to even comprehend the intensity. Nobody believes that we can go through this hell for one hour and be somewhat normal the next.
It's when I found others experiencing the same thing that I started to feel 'normal'.
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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cschick
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Re: new member - because its fall
« Reply #2 on: Oct 6th, 2004, 11:44pm » |
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Hey thanks for the reply. I was beginning to wonder if I was all alone out here tonight. I am afraid to go to sleep. I don't know if I can handle this pain again....I know it is only going to get worse as the weeks go by. I am so dreading the "bruised eye" feeling again. Well, thanks again for the reply I guess I will try to sleep now. I may be back soon - the devil comes a knockin' about 2am. yippee skippy.
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thebbz
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Re: new member - because its fall
« Reply #3 on: Oct 6th, 2004, 11:49pm » |
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Bangin the old bean.!!! Ya Psycologically I think the brain focuses on the pain and battles it physically . Hitting yourself I believe gives the brain another thing to focus on. Like scratching a mosquito bite next to the bite itself provides relief. When out of abortives it's the fetal position,sobbing, slinging nasal stuff...LOL and banging head on something hard till I pass out. The demerol just allows one to breathe..don't work on the pain though...  Keep up the fight.
BB
BTW Just my thoughts and check spelling on the ten dollar words.
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It wasn't me I didn't do it
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vig
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Re: new member - because its fall
« Reply #4 on: Oct 6th, 2004, 11:53pm » |
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for me, it comes an hour after I fall asleep, no matter when I hit the hay. Lately, I've found myself jamming my head and eyesocket into the arm of my couch. Hell I don't know, whatever works. Have no fear.
Don't worry, you can handle it.
We all do. It sucks but it makes us stronger.
keep on fighting
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| « Last Edit: Oct 6th, 2004, 11:55pm by vig » |
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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nani
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Re: new member - because its fall
« Reply #5 on: Oct 7th, 2004, 12:12am » |
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Quote:| I am afraid to go to sleep |
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Look around the board and find out about melatonin for now. Then, armed with all the info you need, see your doctor and ask about verapamil,oxygen, imitrex, etc. I can't tell you about the melatonin, I'm one of the odd daytime hits people.  Hang in there. 
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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EmpressJMB
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No Brain, No Headache
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Re: new member - because its fall
« Reply #6 on: Oct 7th, 2004, 8:34am » |
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Welcome aboard CSchick! Sorry your here. I hope you got some sleep last night. It's hard to run on empty. As you said, arm yourself with information and keep looking until you find a dr. who can help you. Read all the info on this site and try different things until you find what works. I hope you have PFDAN! Try not to get discouraged. We're here and we understand. Janet
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...sometimes at night I think I understand. Brother to brother, man to man, face to face, hand to hand, the shadow dance that never ends. Shadow boxing the silent war within...yet again. Weir/Barlow
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Valerie
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Re: new member - because its fall
« Reply #7 on: Oct 7th, 2004, 10:13am » |
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Welcome and sorry you have to be here! I hope you got some sleep last night, the beast was attacking me at the time of your post. Last night was the worst, almost went to the ER, but remembered they have never helped me in the past. I kept telling my husband I wanted to be dead and to please put me out of my misery. Needless to say he doesn't like to hear my talk like that.
Knowing there are others out there experiencing the same thing has helped tremendously - we're here to support you 
Hang in there - it will go away!
Valerie
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cschick
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Re: new member - because its fall
« Reply #8 on: Oct 7th, 2004, 8:05pm » |
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Thanks for the words of encouragement and support. The devil came a knockin' at 1:25AM and didn't leave me alone until 2:20AM. Little bastard. God bless my husband, he sat up with me - rubbed my back and held my hands so I wouldn't hit myself. I am going to have him video record one of these lovely episodes so I can take it to my Dr. so he can see what goes on when I have one of these. Last night my right eye swelled so bad I couldn't hold it open - I looked like the devil himself (that's pretty dang bad too since I am pretty darn good lookin').  j/k all. I try to use humor at all times.
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ArCane
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Onward through the fog
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Re: new member - because its fall
« Reply #9 on: Oct 11th, 2004, 1:32pm » |
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Welcome cschick and sorry you had to find us. We all know what your going through. Just know your not alone and you can always find support here. I hope you find sleep. You can always fight the beast better if your well rested. Prayers and PF vibes coming your way. If you ever want to talk to a fellow Missourian that understands what your going through feel free to PM me. Hang in there and just remember, "What doesnt kill us, makes us stronger."
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Alchemy’s First Law of Equivalent Exchange: To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
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TxBasslady
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Re: new member - because its fall
« Reply #10 on: Oct 12th, 2004, 1:13am » |
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Welcome!
Read all the info you can on this site.
Check out the threads on Melatonin. It works great for me, and I, like you, always get hit after going to bed.
I currently take 2 Melatonin (6mg.) before going to bed. I can't explain why it works...I know it is a sleep aid, and evidently it changes our sleep patterns somewhat.
It has been a miracle drug for me...and the good thing is that it's cheap, and can be purchased w/out a RX.
Also, you might try and sleep elevated....this also has saved me many nights from getting hit.
Lots of good info here....and even though not everything works for all, it can't hurt to try some of the tried and true remedies we have learned and passed on to others.
Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.
PF vibes,
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas! 
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