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Topic: Golfers only (Read 318 times) |
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TC
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Golfers only
« on: Oct 6th, 2005, 2:34pm » |
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A man and his wife were playing there local golf course together and came to the 14th hole a dogleg par 4, the Husband (a decent player) pulled his tee shot left into some trees. His wife plays her ball and they go look for his in the trees, they find it but frustrated the man says "I'll never get to the green from here, the greenkeepers shed is blocking my way", " No problem" says his wife "The shed has doors at both ends, so I'll open them up and you can hit a low shot through the shed onto the green". "Excellent my dear".So off she goes and opens the shed doors and he lines himself up for ths shot....whack...... the ball enters the shed, hits a mower, pings off an old lamp shade, hits his wife clean between the eyes and she drops to floor dead. Holy Schmoly!. Anyway time passes by and almost a year later he's at the 14th again, playing with a friend, once more he pulls his tee shot left and upon finding his ball he exclaims " I can't make the green now the blasted greenkeeprs shed is in the way", " No problem" pipes up his friend " The greenkeepers shed has doors at both ends I'll open them up and you can hit a low one onto the green". The Husband bows his head then looks up at his friend "NO WAY" he says "I TRIED THAT LAST YEAR AND TOOK 6"!!!!
Why shouldn't you wear Russian underpants ?
Cher-nob-yl fallout.
Why do elephants have four feet ?
They'd look pretty stupid with six inches.
Whats the difference between a mackerel and my Boss?
One's a horrible slimy thing with cold, heartless staring eyes and the other's a fish!!
What do you call a person who sometimes has someone jabbing there eye with an ice pick and then squeezing there head so hard that it feels like it will explode?
All of us!!
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Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
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BOHICA!!!
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Re: Golfers only
« Reply #1 on: Oct 6th, 2005, 3:34pm » |
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Good ones!  (checking the label on my underpants....) 
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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AussieBrian
New Board Hall of Famer
Got beer?
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Re: Golfers only
« Reply #2 on: Oct 6th, 2005, 5:46pm » |
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A policeman confronted a golfer and told him that his sliced tee-shot off the fourth had cleared the fence, gone through the windscreen of a motor car that had then swerved into an oncoming truck, which in turn had lost control and crashed into a school - bursting into flame.
"My God", cried the golfer. "What'll I do?"
The policeman advised that he should hold the club a little lower, bend his knees just a bit more, and on the backswing.........
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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