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Topic: The high cost of an education.... (Read 335 times) |
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Jeepgun
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The high cost of an education....
« on: Sep 19th, 2005, 4:12pm » |
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A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the first semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his
parents had given him for school.
Then he gets an idea.
He calls his redneck father.
"Dad," he says," you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!"
"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."
So, his father sends the dog and the $1000.
About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out.
The boy calls his father again.
"So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this, they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"
"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
His father sends the money.
The boy has a problem.
At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read.
So he shoots the dog.
When he gets home, his father is all excited... "Where's Fido? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news."
"This morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does."
Then he turned to me and asked: "Is your daddy still cheating on your mama and messin' around with that cute little redhead next door" ?
The father says, "I hope you SHOT that damn dog!".
"I sure did, Dad!" "I sure did!"
"That's my boy!"
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| « Last Edit: Sep 19th, 2005, 4:13pm by Jeepgun » |
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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AussieBrian
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Got beer?
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Re: The high cost of an education....
« Reply #1 on: Sep 20th, 2005, 12:30am » |
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Asked the barmaid in a Sydney pub if she'd sleep with me that night for a thousand bucks. "Too right", she says, and the same deal applied for the next four nights, too.
I was finally dressing to leave, we got talking a bit, and I told her I came from a little town outback called Kickatinalong. She tells me surprise, surprise, she's got family there which is when I tells her that I know her mother who'd given me $5,000 to drop off to her while I was in the city.
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
BOHICA!!!
Gender:
Posts: 3840
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Re: The high cost of an education....
« Reply #2 on: Sep 20th, 2005, 7:45am » |
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LMAO!!!
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: The high cost of an education....
« Reply #3 on: Sep 20th, 2005, 3:23pm » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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