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Topic: Big Game Hunter (Read 311 times) |
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Redneck
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Big Game Hunter
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his
hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could
dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would
recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the
bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that
killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they
would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him
carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a
few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and
declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right.
They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He
took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag
rifle. He was right again.
Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time
against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his
mind,and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror
that he had one hell of a shiner. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk
last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it.
Where did I get this blackeye?"
His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your
hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced,
"Skunk, killed with an axe."
and a little bonus before I duck and run to far 
A cemetery grounds keeper was going about his rounds when he saw a man lying on a grave, sobbing loudly and pounding his fists on the ground, "Why did you have to die? Oh, why? Why?" he lamented. "A loved one's passing is a terrible loss," the grounds keeper offered in consolation, "but someday, the pain will pass." "Loved one?" the weeping man said, looking up. "I didn't even know the guy." "Then why all the tears?" "He was my wife's first husband!"
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sassy_lady
New Board Hall of Famer
 
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Posts: 613
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Re: Big Game Hunter
« Reply #1 on: Aug 14th, 2005, 4:26pm » |
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Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
BOHICA!!!
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Posts: 3840
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Re: Big Game Hunter
« Reply #2 on: Aug 15th, 2005, 8:30am » |
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ROFLMAO!!
"Skunk. Killed with an axe." File this under "Top Ten Things NOT To Say To Your Old Lady When You Come In Boozy and Woozy From The Pub."
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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