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   Author  Topic: Boudreaux & Band-Aids  (Read 705 times)
Redneck
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Boudreaux & Band-Aids
« on: Aug 3rd, 2005, 6:33pm »
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He ain't quite right  Smiley But he be a good frien of mine.
 
Boudreaux & Band-Aids (that's pronounced BOO-dro, for y'all not familiar with Louisiana) Boudreaux staggered home very late after another  
evening with his drinking buddy, Thibodeaux.  
 
He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Clotile.  
 
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs  
bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.  
 
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.  
 
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.  
 
Managing not to yell, Boudreaux sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.  
 
He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.  
 
He then hid the now almost empty box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.  
 
In the morning, Boudreaux woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Clotile staring at him from across the room.  
 
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you Boudreaux?"  
 
Boudreaux said, "Mon cher, why you say such a mean ting?"  
 
"Well," Clotile said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the  
broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood  
trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly......  
it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the downstairs mirror.
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Redneck
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Re: Boudreaux & Band-Aids
« Reply #1 on: Aug 3rd, 2005, 6:46pm »
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An deese boys may be kin to ol' Boudreaux and Thibodeaux!
 
Two men dressed in pilot's uniforms walk up the aisle of the airplane.  
Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is  
tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.  
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit,  
the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing  
nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical  
joke. None is forthcoming.  
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting  
in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge  
of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will  
plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.  
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax  
and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines,  
secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.  
In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "You  
know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all  
gonna die
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BOHICA!!!

   
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Re: Boudreaux & Band-Aids
« Reply #2 on: Aug 4th, 2005, 8:29am »
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LMAO!!
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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