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Topic: Quantas Gripe Sheet (Read 270 times) |
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kimh
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What don't kill ya makes ya stronger
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Quantas Gripe Sheet
« on: Apr 27th, 2005, 1:02pm » |
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>After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
>>sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
>>mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
>>and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
>>Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
>>
>>Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas'
>>pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an
>>S) by maintenance engineers.
>>
>>By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
>>accident. .... Enjoy!
>>
>>P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
>>
>>S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
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>>P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
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>>S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
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>>P: Something loose in cockpit.
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>>S: Something tightened in cockpit.
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>>P: Dead bugs on windshield.
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>>S: Live bugs on back-order.
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>>P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
>>descent.
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>>S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
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>>P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
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>>S: Evidence removed.
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>>P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
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>>S: DME volume set to more believable level.
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>>P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
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>>S: That's what they're for.
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>>P: IFF inoperative.
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>>S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
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>>P: Suspected crack in windshield.
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>>S: Suspect you're right.
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>>P: Number 3 engine missing.
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>>S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
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>>P: Aircraft handles funny.
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>>S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
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>>P: Target radar hums.
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>>S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
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>>P: Mouse in cockpit.
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>>S: Cat installed.
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>>
>>P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
>>pounding on something with a hammer.
>>
>>S: Took hammer away from midget
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Quantas Gripe Sheet
« Reply #1 on: Apr 27th, 2005, 3:31pm » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Ronny
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Re: Quantas Gripe Sheet
« Reply #2 on: Apr 27th, 2005, 5:23pm » |
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It's a good thing i dont fly often.
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Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.
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mynm156
New Board Hall of Famer
hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it
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Re: Quantas Gripe Sheet
« Reply #3 on: Apr 27th, 2005, 10:44pm » |
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"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
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