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Topic: Curtain Rods (Read 333 times) |
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daffyswacky
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Do the voices in my head scare you?
  
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Curtain Rods
« on: Apr 7th, 2005, 10:41am » |
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She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collectedher
things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their
beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some softbackground
music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle
of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and everyroom
and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, intothe
hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss forthe
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were
checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Airfresheners
were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas
canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and inthe
end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing
worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused towork
in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stenchany
longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut
their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinkyhouse.
Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused toreturn
their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the
bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He toldher
the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said thatshe
missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce herdivorce
settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing hisex-wife
had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that wasabout
1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign
the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers
delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched
the moving company pack everything from the old house to take to their new home, the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????
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If you're not living on the edge...you're taking up too much space
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Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
BOHICA!!!
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Posts: 3840
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Re: Curtain Rods
« Reply #1 on: Apr 7th, 2005, 10:44am » |
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ROFLMAO!! That RULES!!  
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Posts: 10429
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Re: Curtain Rods
« Reply #2 on: Apr 7th, 2005, 11:18am » |
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You know what they say... don't get mad, get even... 
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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mynm156
New Board Hall of Famer
hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it
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Re: Curtain Rods
« Reply #3 on: Apr 8th, 2005, 11:13am » |
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So THATS how she did it?!
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"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
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bigAl
New Board Junior
Live long and prosper ... \\//
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Posts: 100
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Re: Curtain Rods
« Reply #4 on: Apr 8th, 2005, 10:36pm » |
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Just another wicked witch
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>>>------- >>>------- >>>------- Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
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judkins
New Board Veteran
at peace with myself..at war with the beast..
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Re: Curtain Rods
« Reply #5 on: Apr 9th, 2005, 4:21am » |
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Nothings worse than a woman scorned.
Good one.
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Todays agenda..... get through it !!!!
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