Author |
Topic: Uncle Teds Morals (Read 218 times) |
|
mynm156
New Board Hall of Famer
hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it
Gender: 
Posts: 1708
|
 |
Uncle Teds Morals
« on: Apr 5th, 2005, 10:39am » |
 Quote  Modify
|
Billy's homework assignment is to think of a true story with a moral so he goes home and thinks about it all night and finally has one. The following day, Suzy raises her hand and says, "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks for the moral to the story. Suzy replies, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
Next is Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm, too, and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched. The moral is, don't count your chicks before they are hatched.''
Billy is last to speak. He says, ''My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam War. His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed, with only a parachute, a bottle of bourbon, a machine gun, and a machete. As he floated down he drank the bottle of bourbon. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 North Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade broke on his machete, so he killed the last 10 with his bare hands.''
The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.
Billy replies, "Don't fuck with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking.''
|
|
 IP Logged |
"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
|
|
|
Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
BOHICA!!!
Gender:
Posts: 3840
|
|
Re: Uncle Teds Morals
« Reply #1 on: Apr 5th, 2005, 11:27am » |
Quote Modify
|
I think Uncle Ted and I need to go out drinkin and fightin! LOL 
|
|
IP Logged |
Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
|
|
|
pattik
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
 
Gender: 
Posts: 2404
|
|
Re: Uncle Teds Morals
« Reply #2 on: Apr 5th, 2005, 11:32am » |
Quote Modify
|
 LMAO!...pk
|
|
IP Logged |
The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
|
|
|
sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
Gender:
Posts: 10429
|
|
Re: Uncle Teds Morals
« Reply #3 on: Apr 5th, 2005, 12:36pm » |
Quote Modify
|
|
|
IP Logged |
CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss