Author |
Topic: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES (Read 267 times) |
|
Redneck
Guest
|
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost
Instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by
Simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
A few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to
Use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
Button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Remember:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know
when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
|
|
 IP Logged |
|
|
|
LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
 
Gender: 
Posts: 11720
|
 |
Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #1 on: Mar 31st, 2005, 2:49am » |
 Quote  Modify
|
LMMFAO.. That was bloody brilliant!
You do realise I'm expecting tomorrow to be up to this standard to don't you?! 
|
|
IP Logged |
The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
|
|
|
Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
BOHICA!!!
Gender: 
Posts: 3840
|
|
Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #2 on: Mar 31st, 2005, 7:54am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Mar 30th, 2005, 7:15pm, Redneck wrote: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. |
|
Someone's been watching me fix my Jeep, while out out on the trail, I see. 
|
|
IP Logged |
Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
|
|
|
Redneck
Guest
|
|
Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #3 on: Mar 31st, 2005, 6:30pm » |
Quote Modify
 Remove
|
I couldn't make it without duct tape, wd-40 and bailing wire.
"A country boy can survive"
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
Gender:
Posts: 10429
|
|
Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
« Reply #4 on: Apr 1st, 2005, 12:33pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Mar 30th, 2005, 7:15pm, Redneck wrote:
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
|
|
Quess who'll be cleaning the toilets at my house...? 
on Mar 30th, 2005, 7:15pm, Redneck wrote:
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for A few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to Use a timer. |
|
Some might call this a suicide attempt, though...
on Mar 30th, 2005, 7:15pm, Redneck wrote:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
|
|
So true... we're all freaks!
|
|
IP Logged |
CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss