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Topic: The Herbert's (Read 249 times) |
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daffyswacky
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Do the voices in my head scare you?
  
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The Herbert's
« on: Mar 29th, 2005, 12:58pm » |
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TheHeberts were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was
to
arrive, Mr. Hebert kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
here soon". Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning
madam.
I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. Come in," Mrs. Hebert cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My specialty isbabies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have aseat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub,
one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living
room
floor is fun too. You can really spread out!"
Wife - "Bathtub, couch, bed, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
for my husband and me."
Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every
time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or
seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of...."
Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd
love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with
that,
I'm sure."
(Wife muttering)- "Don't I know it."
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus." Wife - "Ohmy
goodness!"
Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you
consider their mother was so difficult to work with." Wife - "She was
difficult?"
Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park
to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five
deep,
pushing to get a good look."
Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes wide in amazement).
Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The mother was
constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then
darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on
your.....equipment?"
Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up
my
tripod so that we can get to work."
Wife - "Tripod?"
photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she's
fainted!"
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If you're not living on the edge...you're taking up too much space
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Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
BOHICA!!!
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Re: The Herbert's
« Reply #1 on: Mar 29th, 2005, 1:07pm » |
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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mynm156
New Board Hall of Famer
hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it
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Re: The Herbert's
« Reply #2 on: Mar 29th, 2005, 8:08pm » |
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AWESOME!!!!!
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"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: The Herbert's
« Reply #3 on: Apr 1st, 2005, 12:42pm » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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