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Topic: Only in America (Read 296 times) |
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Redneck
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May be a repeat but what the hell 
Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes and candy bars at the front.
Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. While contemplating surgery for being to fat.
Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then Chain the pens to the counters. Plus hire a rent a cop with a gun that would make Barney Fife look like Dirty Harry.
Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollarsin the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Don't forget screws in three's and nails by the dozen.
Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins
Lottery”?
Why is “abbreviated “ such a long word?
Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do
“practice”?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender: 
Posts: 4179
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Re: Only in America
« Reply #1 on: Mar 30th, 2005, 11:57am » |
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MY fave:
Quote:You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! |
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These are great! Chuckled at most of them!
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
 
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Posts: 11720
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Re: Only in America
« Reply #2 on: Mar 30th, 2005, 12:31pm » |
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on Mar 28th, 2005, 6:39pm, Redneck wrote:
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Yep.. thats me!!
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Yes..WHY?!!
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Suddenly Dallas doesn't look so attractive! 
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Thanks Red, that certainly brightened my poxy 'orrible wet day!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Redneck
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Well LeLimey sometimes humor is all that keeps me going 
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AussieBrian
New Board Hall of Famer
Got beer?
Gender: 
Posts: 1695
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Re: Only in America
« Reply #4 on: Mar 30th, 2005, 8:31pm » |
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on Mar 28th, 2005, 6:39pm, Redneck wrote:
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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Never heard of terminal boredom? Terminal diseases?
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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