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Topic: Only in.......... (Read 296 times) |
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judkins
New Board Veteran
at peace with myself..at war with the beast..
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Posts: 113
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Only in..........
« on: Mar 24th, 2005, 6:08am » |
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Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.
Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out
of the soles of their feet
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.
And finally.........
In 2004 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
Toilet............................
RULE BRITANNIA!
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Todays agenda..... get through it !!!!
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Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
BOHICA!!!
Gender: 
Posts: 3840
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Re: Only in..........
« Reply #1 on: Mar 24th, 2005, 8:51am » |
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Hrmmm.... It appears that Britain and the United States have more in common than we thought. 
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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mynm156
New Board Hall of Famer
hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it
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Posts: 1708
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Re: Only in..........
« Reply #2 on: Mar 24th, 2005, 8:57am » |
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on Mar 24th, 2005, 8:51am, Frank_W wrote:| Hrmmm.... It appears that Britain and the United States have more in common than we thought. |
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XACTLY!!!!
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"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
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jokrs2
New Board Old Timer
Eventually He will make us pain free!
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Posts: 480
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Re: Only in..........
« Reply #3 on: Mar 24th, 2005, 2:52pm » |
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Ouch  Damn toilet bowl lid. I was just thirsty 
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Given strength, courage & a sound mind!
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AussieBrian
New Board Hall of Famer
Got beer?
Gender:
Posts: 1695
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Re: Only in..........
« Reply #4 on: Mar 25th, 2005, 12:24am » |
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Rule Brittania,
..... Brittania waives the rules.
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Posts: 10429
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Re: Only in..........
« Reply #5 on: Mar 26th, 2005, 10:18am » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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