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Topic: It is good to be a woman: (Read 508 times) |
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Killroy 2.0
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It is good to be a woman:
« on: Mar 9th, 2005, 6:16pm » |
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1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.
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Do the walls speak to you? Do you follow the Geek Messiah? DO YOU COMPLY?!
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #1 on: Mar 9th, 2005, 6:25pm » |
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 #15 is sooo true, isn't it?
Carol
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LeLimey
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #2 on: Mar 9th, 2005, 6:36pm » |
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Gena you are SOOO right!! LMAO
I love it!!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Langa
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #3 on: Mar 9th, 2005, 6:48pm » |
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Quote:| 2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. |
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Works every time...
Langa 
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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thomas
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #4 on: Mar 10th, 2005, 10:24am » |
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Religion and sex are powerplays. Manipulate the people for the money they pay. Selling skin, selling God, the numbers look the same on their credit cards. Triptans cause rebounds. Learn it, believe it, live it. I use triptans as the absolute LAST RESORT when treating my CH.
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Margi
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #5 on: Mar 10th, 2005, 10:29am » |
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pssst....hey Gena, you forgot one....
16. We don't EVER feel the need to "fluff the covers" to share aromas with our spouses.
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And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)
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IMHO (which in my universe is correct)
kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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thomas
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #6 on: Mar 10th, 2005, 10:46am » |
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OK, that's it, you are all a bunch of sexist pigs! 
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Religion and sex are powerplays. Manipulate the people for the money they pay. Selling skin, selling God, the numbers look the same on their credit cards. Triptans cause rebounds. Learn it, believe it, live it. I use triptans as the absolute LAST RESORT when treating my CH.
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Jeepgun
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #7 on: Mar 10th, 2005, 10:49am » |
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on Mar 10th, 2005, 10:46am, guesst wrote:OK, that's it, you are all a bunch of sexist pigs!
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I agree! In fact, I'm so offended, I can't stop laughing myself silly...
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
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Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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Margi
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #8 on: Mar 10th, 2005, 10:51am » |
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on Mar 10th, 2005, 10:46am, guesst wrote:OK, that's it, you are all a bunch of sexist pigs!
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yeah, you love it. LOL 
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And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)
source unknown
IMHO (which in my universe is correct)
kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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karma
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #9 on: Mar 10th, 2005, 12:30pm » |
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1. We got off the Titanic first. (The life boats went down afterwards)
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. (I won't touch this)
3. Taxis stop for us. (and all sense of time)
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. (Then why use the pole)
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo. (white women with corn rows)
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves. (Nope you just quietly slink away so the man gets the blame)
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. (Not where I live)
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end. (This is best to avoid public cat fights)
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. (Because now a days its all hanging out for everyone to see)
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves. (It only takes two hours)
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. (Its a scinetific fact that women have a lack of imagination)
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot. (But you will enjoy the sex)
13. We will never regret piercing our ears. (15 times on each side?
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. (Honey does this dress make me look fat?
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway. (married men that is)
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| « Last Edit: Mar 11th, 2005, 7:20am by karma » |
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Langa
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #10 on: Mar 10th, 2005, 1:03pm » |
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Robbie! You are not right!
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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karma
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #11 on: Mar 11th, 2005, 7:25am » |
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And my personal favorate.
(17) women dress to be noticed and can get pissed when they do get noticed and can get pissed when they don't get noticed. 
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| « Last Edit: Mar 11th, 2005, 7:25am by karma » |
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Jeepgun
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BOHICA!!!
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #12 on: Mar 11th, 2005, 8:03am » |
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Going to the mall in summer and "noticing" the sweet young ladies dressed revealingly, and getting elbowed by the wife. I replied, "Hey, if they come here to show it, I come here to see it!"
(I'm sure glad I have such a comfortable couch...)
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Posts: 4179
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #13 on: Mar 11th, 2005, 8:49am » |
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on Mar 11th, 2005, 7:25am, karma wrote:And my personal favorate.
(17) women dress to be noticed and can get pissed when they do get noticed and can get pissed when they don't get noticed. |
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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karma
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #14 on: Mar 11th, 2005, 10:39am » |
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sassy_lady
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #15 on: Jul 28th, 2005, 9:20pm » |
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AussieBrian
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Got beer?
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #16 on: Jul 29th, 2005, 6:26am » |
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1. We got off the Titanic first.
And once the sharks had been fed it was safe for others to follow.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
And scream sexual harassment should he comment on it.
3. Taxis stop for us.
So we can get in with an obviously lecherous driver.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
Really? Borrow a video camera.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
And fat women never wear bikinis.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
Blaming others is much more fun.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
When a man doesn't shave, he doesn't have to care.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
On an all male team, so can a man.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
That goes without saying.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
In clothes so totally unsuitable and shoes that hurt.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
But can't talk about the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
And then marry him anyway.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
Even after infection sets in.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
And thank goodness women never suffer CH.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.
Nor do they read women's posts.
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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Jeepgun
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BOHICA!!!
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Re: It is good to be a woman:
« Reply #17 on: Jul 29th, 2005, 7:37am » |
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Women also have something in common with Jello:
They both wiggle when you eat them.
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| « Last Edit: Jul 29th, 2005, 7:37am by Jeepgun » |
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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