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Topic: Getting Even... (Read 350 times) |
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Getting Even...
« on: Mar 2nd, 2005, 11:56am » |
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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of Men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
Their heart.
For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around
with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let’s get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, Let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either.
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
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BOHICA!!!
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Re: Getting Even...
« Reply #1 on: Mar 2nd, 2005, 12:15pm » |
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LOL!
From another joke: "We really don't mind sleeping on the couch. It's like camping."
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
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Re: Getting Even...
« Reply #2 on: Mar 2nd, 2005, 12:54pm » |
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on Mar 2nd, 2005, 12:15pm, Frank_W wrote:LOL!
From another joke: "We really don't mind sleeping on the couch. It's like camping."
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You have good memory Frank...
My brother is constantly sending me these jokes...I have a feeling he's not getting any... 
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Getting Even...
« Reply #3 on: Mar 2nd, 2005, 2:10pm » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
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BOHICA!!!
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Re: Getting Even...
« Reply #4 on: Mar 2nd, 2005, 3:40pm » |
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on Mar 2nd, 2005, 12:54pm, Langa wrote:
You have good memory Frank...
My brother is constantly sending me these jokes...I have a feeling he's not getting any...
Langa |
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Poor guy!  
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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jokrs2
New Board Old Timer
Eventually He will make us pain free!
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Posts: 480
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Re: Getting Even...
« Reply #5 on: Mar 2nd, 2005, 6:27pm » |
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Yeah! endorphine release thank you, Joe
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Given strength, courage & a sound mind!
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Biker
New Board Old Timer
OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Getting Even...
« Reply #6 on: Mar 3rd, 2005, 7:49pm » |
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Remindes me of my first argurement with my first wife. I took her to Krogers (grocery store) and she went wild shopping for the most expensive foods she could find. She was a city gal, and tired of eating deer and fish I guess--anyway, she had a shopping cart just full of food, and (I was thinking about all the food from the garden and meat from the farm in the freezer---she was kinda crazy anyway) got to the check-out lane and she reached her had out to me in a way that gestured for money. All I had was a paycheck for 140 bucks, and the bill was nearly 300. With a look of discust, she pulled out her credit card (Wich was thousands in the red) and I took that card and broke it in half.
Our first argument started there----it lasted 8 more years.
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Ride it like ya stole it.
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Samantha_Smith
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: Getting Even...
« Reply #7 on: Mar 4th, 2005, 3:40pm » |
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"Tact is for people not witty enough to use sarcasm."
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Ronny
CH.com Alumnus
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Yabba Dabba Doo
 
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Re: Getting Even...
« Reply #8 on: Mar 4th, 2005, 7:34pm » |
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Woohaa,
Nice 1
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Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.
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