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Topic: A Mothers Dictionary (Read 267 times) |
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Tara Ann
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A Mothers Dictionary
« on: Feb 28th, 2005, 3:53pm » |
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A Mother's Dictionary
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
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LeLimey
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Re: A Mothers Dictionary
« Reply #1 on: Feb 28th, 2005, 4:41pm » |
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Been there done that... got the stains that won't wash out of my favourite t shirt to prove it too!! 
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Jeepgun
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Re: A Mothers Dictionary
« Reply #2 on: Mar 1st, 2005, 8:28am » |
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on Feb 28th, 2005, 3:53pm, taraann wrote:| Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. |
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I've found that they are quite good for my hair, though. Especially when they are spit or flung back at the velocity of a Sandy Kofax fastball.
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sandie99
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Re: A Mothers Dictionary
« Reply #3 on: Mar 2nd, 2005, 1:38am » |
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Football = the game in which you stand on in front of the goal for several hours while your godson hits you with a real football you gave him as a gift.
Been there, done that. Got scars to prove that...
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