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Topic: Hormone Hostage (Read 489 times) |
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Redneck
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The Hormone Hostage
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his
own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a
driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or
significant
other!!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might
need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember:
Money talks...but chocolate sings.
Another thing to giggle about... My significant other, not happy
with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring other day so he
would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a
good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a
bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds. Here have some chocolate.
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kimh
New Board Hall of Famer
What don't kill ya makes ya stronger
Posts: 764
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Re: Hormone Hostage
« Reply #1 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 6:41pm » |
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so.........what are you saying...really? are you fuckin with me or what? LOL
Hormone OWNER AND DISPENSER 
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Redneck
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Damn, out numbered again.
Now I am very afraid 
Edit: Forgot to toss chocolate
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| « Last Edit: Jan 22nd, 2005, 6:49pm by Redneck » |
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
What Goes Around Comes Around!
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Posts: 3267
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Re: Hormone Hostage
« Reply #3 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:22pm » |
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Congratulations Redneck - you've got it figured out - everything can be forgiven as long as you offer chocolate.
My favourite sweatshirt says "I want it all,but I'll settle for some chocolate"
My personal favourite - dark bittersweet chocolate.
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
 
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Posts: 11720
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Re: Hormone Hostage
« Reply #4 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:27pm » |
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on Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:22pm, Grandma_Sweet_Boy wrote:
My favourite sweatshirt says "I want it all,but I'll settle for some chocolate"
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 I have one that says "Save the Earth.. its the only planet with Chocolate"
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Posts: 10429
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Re: Hormone Hostage
« Reply #5 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 8:18am » |
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Darn, why nobody invented this list when I still ate chocolate! Oh, well...
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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AussieBrian
New Board Hall of Famer
Got beer?
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Posts: 1695
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Re: Hormone Hostage
« Reply #6 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 7:23pm » |
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I had paying passengers on board so I couldn't pick them up but my heart goes out to the two girls I saw hitchiking just north of Cairns recently.
One was holding a sign which read, "I tell good stories". The other's sign was,
"I have chocolate."
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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Peppermint
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Work it out baby!
 
Gender:
Posts: 2605
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Re: Hormone Hostage
« Reply #7 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 7:45pm » |
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on Jan 22nd, 2005, 6:48pm, Redneck wrote:Damn, out numbered again.
Now I am very afraid
Edit: Forgot to toss chocolate |
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My fave is when you say "Toss chocolate and run like hell"
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You like apples? How ya like them apples?
When playing in the gym, beware of steel beams. - M. Amyx
Carve your name on hearts, and not on marble. - Charles H. Spurgeon
FYI - I am NOT a clusterhead.
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mynm156
New Board Hall of Famer
hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it
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Re: Hormone Hostage
« Reply #8 on: Jan 30th, 2005, 10:02am » |
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Take heed and share these words they might save a life.
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"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
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BikerBob
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Re: Hormone Hostage
« Reply #9 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 7:27pm » |
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Here's the new hormone attack warning system from the Dept. of Homelife Security...
http://tinyurl.com/4yx2z
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Biker
New Board Old Timer
OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posts: 268
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Re: Hormone Hostage
« Reply #10 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 8:15pm » |
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Its right common and accectable in most countries, to send the bloody wife out to the woodshead for a week. Im kinda suprised the subject came up in a headache forum. I think there must be a white anglo/saxton among the group. Even the Cherokee had enough sense to not deal with gals during their "time." Are you STUPID? Hell, males like sleeping beside the heater too. Be nice to the gals, but dont rag them about it. It aint their fault they were born female.
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Ride it like ya stole it.
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Ghost
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Farting relieves the pressure
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Posts: 4024
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Re: Hormone Hostage
« Reply #11 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 8:20pm » |
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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