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Topic: Ok one 4 my Sisters out there (Read 385 times) |
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mynm156
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hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it
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Ok one 4 my Sisters out there
« on: Jan 9th, 2005, 12:43pm » |
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Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.
Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: They won't stop for directions.
Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.
Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.
Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their not a very nice persons and they vapor lock.
Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It's sex with someone they love.
Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Q: Why did God make men before women?
A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.
Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.
Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.
Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What men know about women.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.
Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A: A half hour of begging.
Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
A: He's breathing
Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Government bonds mature.
Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.
Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?
A: They are both empty from the head up.
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares?
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know. It's never happened.
Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.
Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
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"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
 
 
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Posts: 11720
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Re: Ok one 4 my Sisters out there
« Reply #1 on: Jan 9th, 2005, 1:17pm » |
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quick!! someone tell mulder and scully the truth isn't "out there"... its here!!! 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: Ok one 4 my Sisters out there
« Reply #2 on: Jan 9th, 2005, 2:09pm » |
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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broomhilda
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Ride it!
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Re: Ok one 4 my Sisters out there
« Reply #3 on: Jan 9th, 2005, 2:10pm » |
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Suck it up Princess...
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nani
CH.com Alumnus
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Got kudzu?
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Posts: 7953
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Re: Ok one 4 my Sisters out there
« Reply #4 on: Jan 10th, 2005, 2:38pm » |
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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karma
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Posts: 857
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Re: Ok one 4 my Sisters out there
« Reply #5 on: Jan 10th, 2005, 3:51pm » |
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Pay back time
Q: Why do men become smarter before sex?
A: Because they never know when they will get lucky again
Q: Why don't women think during foreplay?
A: impossible
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: survival of the fittest, only the finest will do
Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: To give women something to bitch about
Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
A: women need someone to look up to
Q: What do electric toys and breasts have in common?
A: They're intended for children, but it's the women who usually end up playing with them.
Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Sit on my face and I'll show you
Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It's sex without the nagging
Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: Because women took all the smaller ones
Q: Why did God make men before women?
A: Because men had to be around to stop them from killing each other
Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: and such a fine shade of white it is
Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Its not necessary. Women need to learn to put it up where it belongs
Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What men want to know about women.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: none. thats womens work
Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He gets invited by a women
Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A: Call me I'll show you
Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
A: He's breathing. You have a problem with this?
Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A: men don't have any fineprint
Q: How do you save a women from drowning?
A: close her mouth.
Q: What do men an a beer bottle have in common?
A: look at the shape from the neck up.
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: he's listening
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't, thats womens work
Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are available but risky
Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
A: hiring a maid
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| « Last Edit: Jan 10th, 2005, 7:50pm by karma » |
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Ok one 4 my Sisters out there
« Reply #6 on: Jan 18th, 2005, 3:36am » |
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The simple thruths... 
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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sassy_lady
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Posts: 613
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Re: Ok one 4 my Sisters out there
« Reply #7 on: Jul 27th, 2005, 11:13pm » |
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burnt-toast
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Re: Ok one 4 my Sisters out there
« Reply #8 on: Jul 27th, 2005, 11:20pm » |
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Aw man.....
See, its spilled over to the funnies and jokes board. I knew you gals were going to get vindictive on our butts.
That Jimi really stirred it up this time. 
Tom
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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