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Topic: Bill Gates and GM (Read 704 times) |
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Bill Gates and GM
« on: Jan 4th, 2005, 11:17am » |
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For those of you who have had experience with
computers and their glitches and idiosyncrasies, and
downright illogical workings, you'll appreciate the
following:
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates
reportedly compared the computer industry with the
auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with the
technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the
gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors
issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
would all be driving cars with the following
characteristics:
l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway
for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of
the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,
restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
continue. For some reason you would simply accept
this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the
engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car
unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by
the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as
easy to drive- but would run on only five percent of
the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator
warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same
sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure" before
deploying.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key
and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase
a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM
subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want
them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by
50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a
target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers
would have to learn to drive all over again because
none of the controls would operate in the same manner
as the old car.
13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn
the engine off.
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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Ronny
CH.com Alumnus
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Yabba Dabba Doo
 
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Re: Bill Gates and GM
« Reply #1 on: Jan 5th, 2005, 5:09pm » |
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LOL
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Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.
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Chillrmn1
Guest
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That's Good - Did This Actually Happen?
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
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Re: Bill Gates and GM
« Reply #3 on: Jan 6th, 2005, 9:13pm » |
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on Jan 6th, 2005, 8:52pm, Chillrmn1 wrote:| That's Good - Did This Actually Happen? |
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Yes, It did...
LOL!
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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vig
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
CHit Happens
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Posts: 4401
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Re: Bill Gates and GM
« Reply #4 on: Jan 6th, 2005, 10:54pm » |
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I once wrote an email to Bill Gates.
I was upset over something in Microsoft Word.
It seems if you spell check a document that has my last name in it.... well, it offers suggestions....
It seems that Word thinks Vignola should properly be spelled Vaginal....
So I sent an email to Bill asking him if he would please fix it. I got a reply from him saying he would forward the note to his Word team. I got a reply from them also, but they couldn't fix it.
Oh well.
true story
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
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Posts: 11720
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Re: Bill Gates and GM
« Reply #5 on: Jan 6th, 2005, 10:59pm » |
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What a bunch of pussies!!! 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
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Re: Bill Gates and GM
« Reply #6 on: Jan 7th, 2005, 4:05am » |
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on Jan 6th, 2005, 10:54pm, vig wrote:I once wrote an email to Bill Gates.
I was upset over something in Microsoft Word.
It seems if you spell check a document that has my last name in it.... well, it offers suggestions....
It seems that Word thinks Vignola should properly be spelled Vaginal....
So I sent an email to Bill asking him if he would please fix it. I got a reply from him saying he would forward the note to his Word team. I got a reply from them also, but they couldn't fix it.
Oh well.
true story |
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Aww, Poor Baby! 
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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E-Double
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Are we ourselves?
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Posts: 6458
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Re: Bill Gates and GM
« Reply #7 on: Jan 7th, 2005, 2:42pm » |
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Nothing wrong with Vagina dude 
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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PittsburghJoe
New Board Old Timer
Go away pain!
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Posts: 447
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Re: Bill Gates and GM
« Reply #8 on: Jan 16th, 2005, 11:23pm » |
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on Jan 7th, 2005, 2:42pm, E-Double wrote:| Nothing wrong with Vagina dude |
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To me, it's like the small town I lived in as a kid:
It was an okay place to live for a while, but I have no desire to go back and see it now.
Joe
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Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight. - Bruce Cockburn, "Lovers in a Dangerous Time"
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