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Topic: I ain't trying this one (Read 569 times) |
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Redneck
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Testicle Headache
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache.
The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
Joe walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in he mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought or a moment and then said, "Sure ... " The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see ... 34 sleeve and ... 16 and a half neck". Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"
Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure, give me new everything!" The salesman proceeded to collect a complete outfit and got the size right on everything until he got to Joe's underwear.
The salesman eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see ... size 36." Joe laughed, "No, you're wrong on that one. I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman looked again and then shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
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