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Topic: The scream that never comes. (Read 823 times) |
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Thomas_Martin
New Board Newbie
Yippie.My Head is blowing up.
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Posts: 32
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The scream that never comes.
« on: Nov 19th, 2005, 5:23pm » |
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Hello my fellow CH'ers.
Don't know if this is the right section to post in. But I just feel like venting. I've had clusters for around 10 years and it's been driving me nuts(duhh!). The frustration of not being able to live like normal people, even if I am. I seldomly go within a week before I get hit with a kip 5-6. I know it sounds selfish, knowing that cronics have to deal with the CH each day.
Right now I'm dealing with mild clusters ranging from 3-6 each day, getting hit 2-3 times a day, mostly at night. I rarely get hit with a kip 7-10, only if I consume chocolate does it reach that high.
The frustration of not being able to sleep is getting to me. I feel like I'm loosing ground, that not knowing what is the cause of my "illness", is getting to me.
I feel like screaming my lunges out, but I never do, maybe because I know it's fruitless and only brings more pain when the beast is on foot.
Why is it that people associate pain with screaming, when a person could be suffering unbearable pain and still not say even auch.
The frustration of it all, wears you out, but I will never let defeat me. I've got to much to lose to just give up.
Just venting my frustrations. 
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| « Last Edit: Nov 19th, 2005, 6:10pm by Thomas_Martin » |
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BarbaraD
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Hugs to ya
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Posts: 5164
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Re: The scream that never comes.
« Reply #1 on: Nov 19th, 2005, 5:43pm » |
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A few years back we discussed the merits of one of those punching bags that you put sand in and then put in a room. You can beat the hell out of it and it doesn't hurt you near as much as banging your head and screaming.
Go ahead and vent. All of us know how you feel. It is frustrating, but... we live with it and .... well, we live with it.
Go back to the archives and read some of Drummers posts. If that doesn't get your mind off things I don't know what will. He was chronic and I've seen him go thru some pretty bad times, but the way he describes some of the things that happened to him -- well - you just have to read them. And the Kip doggie attack is a classic.
What I'm getting at is -- some of us get our frustrations out by describing things in ways (after the fact of course) that will make the others of us fall on the floor and hurt ourselves laughing. Only those of us who experience the pain of CH can laugh at each other -- anyone else trying it will see the wrath of clusterheads and it's not a pretty site.
We're not as normal as some people think they are, but we're as normal as any clusterhead can be. And there are a bunch of us so don't ever think you're not normal. Around here we all are - just a little weird.
Now vent to your heart's content.
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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AussieBrian
New Board Hall of Famer
Got beer?
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Re: The scream that never comes.
« Reply #2 on: Nov 19th, 2005, 5:49pm » |
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ClusterHeads are perfectly normal people, thank you, it's everyone else that's a bit weird.
Now yell your heart out, Tom.
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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