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Topic: Married....... (Read 1668 times) |
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BarbaraD
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Married.......
« on: Dec 29th, 2005, 8:03am » |
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A couple had only been married for two weeks the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar…you know... they have frozen glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar. you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?" and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?
Hugs BD
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Sandy_C
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #1 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 8:14am » |
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Lean on me when you're not strong
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I'll help you carry on
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aprilbee
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Ain't I a stinkah!!
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #2 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 8:59am » |
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Poor guy... 
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Jimi
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #3 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 9:00am » |
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 Yes it is Honey Bunny.
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LeLimey
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #4 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 9:02am » |
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hey girls, its nice to see Jimi is learning isn't it?! 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #5 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 9:19am » |
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Great Story---but I got hungry reading it !
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maffumatt
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ain't that the truth...........
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Ghost
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #8 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 10:50am » |
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I keep saying it aint a marrage license its freak ownership papers!!!! 
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If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
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TomM
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #9 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 10:56am » |
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...only 4 Hors D'Oeuvres listed...where's the 5th one, Pumpkin?
Oh, I prefer a frozen mug, Butter Cup.
TomM
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cynjeep89
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #10 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 4:28pm » |
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They were only married two weeks.....give it a year and she will probably be driving him to the bar herself just to have some time alone!!!
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Guiseppi
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #11 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 4:57pm » |
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Man is not complete until he's married........then he's finished....<<<<(23 years finished!!!!)
Guiseppi
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Ree
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #12 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 7:01pm » |
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LOL Guiseppe..... you are so right......
Barb D that is one funny joke..... i loved it.....love ree
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Phil L
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #13 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 8:43pm » |
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Thought that was pretty funny myself. Until I realized that I've been married twice and for dinner tonight I'm having boiled pasta and bread. Perhaps there's a message here somewhere.
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Charlie
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #14 on: Dec 30th, 2005, 1:24am » |
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Tis' a sad state of affairs...... 
Charlie 
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TomM
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #15 on: Dec 30th, 2005, 8:42am » |
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on Dec 30th, 2005, 1:24am, Charlie wrote:Tis' a sad state of affairs......
Charlie |
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Charlie, you kill me.
TomM
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
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Kevin_M
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #16 on: Dec 30th, 2005, 5:34pm » |
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on Dec 29th, 2005, 8:03am, BarbaraD wrote:"Honey, I'll be right back."
I'm going to have a beer."
... they have frozen glasses... "
I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"But my sweet honey... at the bar. you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
THAT SHIT IS OVER, |
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I think we know the definition of "is" now.
"I did not have any tall neck Becks with that woman."
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| « Last Edit: Dec 30th, 2005, 5:57pm by Kevin_M » |
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Jasmyn
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #17 on: Dec 30th, 2005, 7:25pm » |
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Barbara it IS funny and Kevin you just pointed out that men are natural born liars
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Jazz
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Cerberus
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #18 on: Dec 30th, 2005, 9:35pm » |
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And the clicking sound she heard in the wee hours of the morning was NOT the phone reciever nor the doorknob... 
'Bus
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nancyc
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #19 on: Dec 31st, 2005, 12:52am » |
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Damn, sis...i thought you had really messed up when I saw the heading for your post...Wheeeee, glad to know you are still single..LMAO. smiles,nancyc
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sandie99
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #20 on: Dec 31st, 2005, 6:49am » |
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BobG
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #21 on: Dec 31st, 2005, 1:02pm » |
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on Dec 30th, 2005, 7:25pm, Jasmyn wrote:| Barbara it IS funny and Kevin you just pointed out that men are natural born liars |
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Nope. We learn it from our dad's girlfriend.
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Langa
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #22 on: Jan 1st, 2008, 3:21pm » |
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This was great...the sweet nicknames had me dying...coochy coo? Lollipop? Tootsie Roll? Oh man...those were good.
Langa
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