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Topic: Married....... (Read 1658 times) |
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BarbaraD
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Married.......
« on: Dec 29th, 2005, 8:03am » |
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A couple had only been married for two weeks the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar…you know... they have frozen glasses... " He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?" "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips. "But my sweet honey... at the bar. you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?" and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story? Hugs BD
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Sandy_C
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #1 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 8:14am » |
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Lean on me when you're not strong And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on For it won't be long Till I'm gonna need Somebody to lean on
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aprilbee
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #2 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 8:59am » |
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Poor guy...
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Jimi
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #3 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 9:00am » |
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Yes it is Honey Bunny.
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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LeLimey
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #4 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 9:02am » |
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hey girls, its nice to see Jimi is learning isn't it?!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #5 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 9:19am » |
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Great Story---but I got hungry reading it !
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There's always light at the end of the Tunnel.
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maffumatt
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ain't that the truth...........
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Ghost
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #8 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 10:50am » |
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I keep saying it aint a marrage license its freak ownership papers!!!!
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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TomM
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #9 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 10:56am » |
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...only 4 Hors D'Oeuvres listed...where's the 5th one, Pumpkin? Oh, I prefer a frozen mug, Butter Cup. TomM
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cynjeep89
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #10 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 4:28pm » |
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They were only married two weeks.....give it a year and she will probably be driving him to the bar herself just to have some time alone!!!
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Guiseppi
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #11 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 4:57pm » |
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Man is not complete until he's married........then he's finished....<<<<(23 years finished!!!!) Guiseppi
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Why are all sensors, seeking intelligent life, pointed AWAY from earth?
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Ree
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #12 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 7:01pm » |
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LOL Guiseppe..... you are so right...... Barb D that is one funny joke..... i loved it.....love ree
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Proud Mom to US ARMY Kiowa OH58 PILOT~CWO2 SCOTT Hawaii, & USMC Vet~Now POLICE OFFICER SEAN, Citizen of the Month~ Breezy~ Nana 4 Matt/Mike&Aya, MIL To Shino Wife to Dave HI BILL!http://www.myspace.com/dungareespocket http://www.prohawaiian.com
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Phil L
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #13 on: Dec 29th, 2005, 8:43pm » |
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Thought that was pretty funny myself. Until I realized that I've been married twice and for dinner tonight I'm having boiled pasta and bread. Perhaps there's a message here somewhere.
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When I get up in the morning and have to look down to see the grass I know it's going to be a great day.
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Charlie
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #14 on: Dec 30th, 2005, 1:24am » |
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Tis' a sad state of affairs...... Charlie
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TomM
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #15 on: Dec 30th, 2005, 8:42am » |
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on Dec 30th, 2005, 1:24am, Charlie wrote:Tis' a sad state of affairs...... Charlie |
| Charlie, you kill me. TomM
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Kevin_M
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #16 on: Dec 30th, 2005, 5:34pm » |
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on Dec 29th, 2005, 8:03am, BarbaraD wrote:"Honey, I'll be right back." I'm going to have a beer." ... they have frozen glasses... " I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?" "But my sweet honey... at the bar. you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." THAT SHIT IS OVER, |
| I think we know the definition of "is" now. "I did not have any tall neck Becks with that woman."
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« Last Edit: Dec 30th, 2005, 5:57pm by Kevin_M » |
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Jasmyn
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #17 on: Dec 30th, 2005, 7:25pm » |
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Barbara it IS funny and Kevin you just pointed out that men are natural born liars
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Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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Cerberus
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #18 on: Dec 30th, 2005, 9:35pm » |
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And the clicking sound she heard in the wee hours of the morning was NOT the phone reciever nor the doorknob... 'Bus
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nancyc
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #19 on: Dec 31st, 2005, 12:52am » |
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Damn, sis...i thought you had really messed up when I saw the heading for your post...Wheeeee, glad to know you are still single..LMAO. smiles,nancyc
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sandie99
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #20 on: Dec 31st, 2005, 6:49am » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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BobG
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #21 on: Dec 31st, 2005, 1:02pm » |
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on Dec 30th, 2005, 7:25pm, Jasmyn wrote:Barbara it IS funny and Kevin you just pointed out that men are natural born liars |
| Nope. We learn it from our dad's girlfriend.
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus New Board Hall of Famer
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So many donuts, such little time...
Gender: ![female](http://www.clusterheadaches.com/public_html/yabbimages/female.gif)
Posts: 4179
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Re: Married.......
« Reply #22 on: Jan 1st, 2008, 3:21pm » |
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This was great...the sweet nicknames had me dying...coochy coo? Lollipop? Tootsie Roll? Oh man...those were good. Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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