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Topic: Oh Christmas Tree.... (Read 265 times) |
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BarbaraD
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Oh Christmas Tree....
« on: Dec 9th, 2005, 5:31am » |
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WHY CHRISTMAS TREES ARE BETTER THAN MEN
1. A Christmas tree is always erect.
2. Even small ones give satisfaction.
3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
4. A Christmas tree always looks good - even when it's lit.
5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.
7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
8. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it wears out.
9. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.
10. You only have to feed/water it once a week.
11. It's always there to light up your life.
12. It gets turned on only when you want it turned on.
13. It always smells nice and doesn't pass gas.
14. If it needles you, you can toss it out.
15.It doesn't ask you to have little Christmas trees.
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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BobG
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Re: Oh Christmas Tree....
« Reply #1 on: Dec 9th, 2005, 7:55am » |
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You could say that about a women too.........if you
eliminate 1, 3, 5, 6, 7 and maybe 15.
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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Sandy_C
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Re: Oh Christmas Tree....
« Reply #2 on: Dec 9th, 2005, 8:22am » |
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Thank's Barb. I now appreciate my Christmas tree even more.
Sandy
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Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
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pattik
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Re: Oh Christmas Tree....
« Reply #3 on: Dec 9th, 2005, 8:49am » |
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on Dec 9th, 2005, 5:31am, BarbaraD wrote:
10. You only have to feed/water it once a week. |
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...and that doesn't include beer.
Thanks Barbara!
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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burnt-toast
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Re: Oh Christmas Tree....
« Reply #4 on: Dec 9th, 2005, 9:01am » |
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Yeah but can it shovel snow and warm up your car for ya'?
Tom
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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Charlie
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Re: Oh Christmas Tree....
« Reply #5 on: Dec 9th, 2005, 6:16pm » |
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Quote:| Thank's Barb. I now appreciate my Christmas tree even more |
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That I've used the same tree for 28 years, says something about staying power then. 
A little rough on the edges....but then that's probably a good thing. 
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Jonny
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Give me a shovel Ill dig my own grave!
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Re: Oh Christmas Tree....
« Reply #6 on: Dec 9th, 2005, 6:27pm » |
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http://www.steakandcheese.com/downloads/Tell_Her_Whos_Boss.wmv
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Charlie
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Re: Oh Christmas Tree....
« Reply #7 on: Dec 9th, 2005, 6:44pm » |
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Yessir. The Swedes, Finns and others really know what Christmas lights are all about.
This is for St. Lucia Day. Doesn't she look like she's having fun?
This is better:
Girls actually run around Lutheran Churches here with lighted candles in their hair. We never say anything about it. It's too much fun.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Sandy_C
CH.com Alumnus
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Burn that bra!
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Re: Oh Christmas Tree....
« Reply #8 on: Dec 10th, 2005, 9:29am » |
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Charlie
Please - advise these girls not to use hair spray! You'll have candles alllright - Roman candles!
Sandy
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Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
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