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Topic: ok women do you think the men will understand this (Read 876 times) |
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minnie
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my greatest joys are my daughters April & Beth
 
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ok women do you think the men will understand this
« on: Dec 5th, 2005, 4:00pm » |
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Why Women Are Crabby
> We started to "bud" into our blouses at 9 or
10 years old only to find out that anything that came
in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so
bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously
uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys
in school would snap until we had calluses on our
backs.
>
> Next, we get our periods in our early to
mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs,
we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies,
had to wear little mattresses between our legs or
insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't
even know we had.
>
> Our next little rite of passage (premarital or
not) was having sex for the first time-which was about
as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus
through your nostrils, leaving us to wonder what all
the fuss was about.
>
> Then off to Motherhood where we learned to
live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we
didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John.
Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are),
we learned to live with the growing little angels
inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day
making us wonder if we were preparing to have
Rosemary's Baby.
>
> Our once flat bellies looked like we had
swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants
every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived,
the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst
right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle,
with our big cartoon feet,
> moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then
huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says,
"Please stop screaming, Mrs.HearMeRoar--Calm down and
push--Just one more good push (or 10)," warranting a
strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the OB and
hubby square in the face for making us cram a
wiggling, mushroom-headed 10-lb bowling ball through a
keyhole.
>
> After that, it was time to raise those angels
only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the
beautiful little darlings morphed into walking,
jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking
little poop machines. Then... come their teen years.
Need I say more?
>
> When the kids are almost grown, we women hit
our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while
hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday and
is now all but null and void.
>
> So we progress into the grand finale: "The
Menopause," Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either
take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned
"buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions-or--sweat
like a hog, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and
bite the head off anything that moves.
>
> Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more
spiteful than men when men get off so easy IN-CLUDING
the icing on life's cake-Being able to pee in the
woods without soaking their socks.
>
> So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood"
would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are
the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me. Send this to
seven bright women you know and make their day!!! Or
at least make them laugh a little... but not too hard
or they may pee their panties.
>
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Ghost
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #1 on: Dec 5th, 2005, 5:12pm » |
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But remind them to RAISE the SEAT FIRST!   
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
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burnt-toast
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #2 on: Dec 5th, 2005, 5:55pm » |
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Belive it or not, I do understand. At least to the lame extent that any man can possibly understand.
Honestly, I don't know how you gals deal with it all without ending up conspiring to dispatch us men in our sleep all on the same night. And you didn't even mention the first and on-going Gynecological exam experiences you endure.
That's why I'm convinced that if there is a God, he's a man, because if God was a woman she would have had the common sense to share some of, "so called blessings" women got stuck with.
Tom
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Jasmyn
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #3 on: Dec 5th, 2005, 6:42pm » |
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No Minnie I don't think men understand, thanks Tom for trying, you don't often see that in a man.
Most men want their poster type girl, sexy body, no stretch marks, with evidence of no gravity, silent and pleasing, so... they keep on wanting woman that don't even exist unless they are mute bimbo's.
Who the hell do they think brought them into this world, another man?!
We, as women, need to be our crabby selves to be able to do what we do best... being all WOMAN and raising men!
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Jazz
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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Redd
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #4 on: Dec 5th, 2005, 6:53pm » |
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Amen and Blessed Be Sistah Jaz....
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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jimmers
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #5 on: Dec 5th, 2005, 7:57pm » |
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Women ROCK!
Its a good thing Jimmers wasn't Eve, Or we wouldn't be here!
Seeya,
Jimmers
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I don't suffer from INSANITY; I'm enjoying every minute of it!
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vig
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #6 on: Dec 5th, 2005, 8:33pm » |
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vive la difference.
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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Charlie
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #7 on: Dec 5th, 2005, 8:49pm » |
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I gotta admit that I'm behind the door on this stuff but I'll do my best to keep up.
Charlie  
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cootie
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #8 on: Dec 5th, 2005, 10:24pm » |
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Yeah and don't forget upkeep......do men know how hard it is to keep yerself lookin decent as a women thru the years. Men grow old very gracefully but women start to look like there mom's. And then the guys start to gawk at women that look like us before we got CONTENT ! Tryin to keep it together Pam
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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Kate in Oz
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #9 on: Dec 6th, 2005, 5:39am » |
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on Dec 5th, 2005, 10:24pm, cootie wrote:| Yeah and don't forget upkeep...... |
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Yeah what's up with the hairless female thing?? Admittedly I'm gorgeous  but the amount of time spent shaving, waxing, moisturising and plucking is outrageous!!!
At what age do we get to ease up a little and be natural??
Kate
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clarence
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Wake up
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #10 on: Dec 6th, 2005, 1:16pm » |
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Yeah...but at least you don't get clusters.
Casey
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #11 on: Dec 6th, 2005, 2:01pm » |
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Quit whining and make me a sandwich. 
<<<Time to hide>>>
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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aprilbee
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #12 on: Dec 6th, 2005, 2:06pm » |
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oh I totally agree with you hunny!! women are definately the stronger sex, and I think most men would agree...however, to play devil's advocate,
men start out life having a part of their manhood choped off before he's even a week old!
then they grow up with those things between their legs, how they walk around with those things, I'll never know...
when it comes to sex, a woman NEVER has to worry about "performing" Men CAN'T fake it... 
and one more thing, balding...women can go bald and wear beautiful lifelike wigs, and men, well their SOL and anyone who wears a toupe or gets plugs is spotted from a mile away...
THEY have to ask out the women, THEY have to pay for dinner, THEY have to open the doors, THEY have to reassure every woman around them that they are beautiful....just my two cents...
I grew up with all boys...so I have a soft spot for them...God Bless 'em!! 
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Cerberus
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #13 on: Dec 6th, 2005, 5:50pm » |
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Believe it or not ( and I am sure you don't) I DO understand a great deal about the things Minnie wrote... Ok Child birth aside... (I don't wan't to know what that is like).
Thank womankind everywhere for Aprilbee... she is truly a man's woman... (not saying you others fall short, but a little more perspective would be nice) 
Quote:| Yeah what's up with the hairless female thing?? |
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If you don't know the answer to this one... you should, and if you really don't WANT to know don't ask. Suffice it to say... we men grow hair in places that it seems really wrong for hair to grow. Those of you who have or do shave your nether regions, know that when it grows back it is rather uncomfortable, Ya... if it weren't "taboo" for men to be hairless...we would be, trust me on that one. And in closing to the quoted statement...
No man wants a hairy woman because it would resemble sleeping with another man... if I wanted a hairy woman, I could always go to the pacific NW and hunt down a female sasquatch... nuff said? .
And in closing to this entire post...
Womankind has been dealing with the afore mentioned "difficulties" for millenia... you aren't the first and you aren't going to be the last...learn to cope or stuff it. If you are the religous type... I suggest you re-read the book of Genesis ( you know, the part about eating the apple and so on) blame Woman for it and stop whining to men about how wrong it is.
I shall now go fortify my residence and get my riot gear from out of storage... be prepared.
'Bus
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Cerberus
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #14 on: Dec 6th, 2005, 5:52pm » |
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Oh and before the flames get too hot...
"Yes Honey, I was wrong... I know, it won't happen again."
'Bus
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I would rather face the end with terror than terror without end. - (Deitrich Sawatsky 194?)
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Jonny
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #15 on: Dec 6th, 2005, 5:54pm » |
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LMMFAO!!!!....Bus
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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cootie
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #16 on: Dec 6th, 2005, 6:32pm » |
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Yeah and men come out one end and end up suckin on the other........think about it. When nursers go bad Pam 
It's all so......so........IRONIC !!!!
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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Mr. Happy
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #17 on: Dec 7th, 2005, 2:16am » |
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Quote:| they keep on wanting woman that don't even exist unless they are mute bimbo's. |
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Mute is not a requirement. Cheap earplugs are every where.
Darwin. Slow but sure.
RJ
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May those who don't want any
Have memories of never getting any.
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BobG
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #18 on: Dec 7th, 2005, 3:51am » |
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on Dec 6th, 2005, 5:39am, Kate in Oz wrote:
At what age do we get to ease up a little and be natural??
Kate |
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That usually happens about 5 minutes after the "I do".
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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minnie
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my greatest joys are my daughters April & Beth
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #19 on: Dec 7th, 2005, 9:57am » |
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Oh you guys Know I love ya gotta have you fun loving cute guys to make life frustratingfun.It's a E-mail I got so I wanted to share.I personally had two c-sections and was out for both.I did have some labor pains but not bad.I don't know how women that go through hours of hard labor do it.I saw my sister go through that twice only to end up having c-sections that was hard to watch.I always said I took a great nap woke up and there was the baby all cleaned up and ready for cuddling.kinda wish i had been brave enough to stay awake but some women I talked to said you couldn't see much anyways being awake.we can't shootlove you guys .
Minnie
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Friends are Angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly
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Charlie
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #20 on: Dec 7th, 2005, 2:25pm » |
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Aren't the most important words women need to know: "I want my epidural?"
Charlie
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| « Last Edit: Dec 7th, 2005, 2:26pm by Charlie » |
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Kate in Oz
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #21 on: Dec 8th, 2005, 5:44am » |
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on Dec 7th, 2005, 3:51am, BobG wrote:
That usually happens about 5 minutes after the "I do".
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You married Bob??
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BobG
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #22 on: Dec 8th, 2005, 6:44am » |
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on Dec 8th, 2005, 5:44am, Kate in Oz wrote:
You married Bob?? |
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Yep. Been in that condition for almost 3 decades.
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juvy
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #23 on: Dec 8th, 2005, 10:58am » |
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on Dec 7th, 2005, 2:25pm, Charlie wrote:Aren't the most important words women need to know: "I want my epidural?"
Charlie |
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lol NO...did mine all natural thank you very much. (Just call me super woman.)
I have to admit...I'd rather give birth again than go through another month long K8 and above cycle. Yes those "push" contractions hurt about as bad as a hard CPH hit but at least I know I'll have something to show for it when it's over. Yes your "nether" regions are sore and uncomfortable for about 3 wks afterward but it's what I like to call "Do Able".
As for guys understanding..don't think they ever fully could but then I didn't have to stand there feeling helpless while the person I loved pushed a softball through a hole normally the size of a pingpong ball. (sorry gals but my baby's head wasn't the size of a bowling ball.)
I'd say men and women have it about the same. Yes we have to carry the offspring and go through labor but we bond with them quicker than our SOs. My husband couldn't share the excitement of feeling her move for the first time, or feel when she had the hiccups. He didn't' feel the exitement when the contractions started or the pure joy of feeling her for the first time on the outside of my stomach. I'd say that instead of "cursed" with periods, Menopause, and "womenly" complaints. We've actually been blessed.
love,
April
P.S. Bus and ExplodingEyeball...I'm sending a "few" man-hating female radicals to your currant location to teach you a "lesson". 
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Ghost
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Re: ok women do you think the men will understand
« Reply #24 on: Dec 8th, 2005, 11:08am » |
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Now I do have to admit after the first son was born I did ask the doc to tighten it up some while he was there and had the needle and thread out.
Now i'll duck!!!! 
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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