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Topic: Welcome to Walmart (Read 310 times) |
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Ghost
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Welcome to Walmart
« on: Dec 2nd, 2005, 1:03pm » |
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Subject: Subject: Job Application
>> Job application of 75 yr old man at Walmart >>
>> This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny: >>
>> NAME: George Martin >>
>> SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman, (or at least, one who'll cooperate). >>
>> DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. >>
>> DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. >>
>> EDUCATION: Yes. >>
>> LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. >>
>> PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. >>
>> MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. >>
>> REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. >>
>> HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. >>
>> PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. >>
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. >>
>> MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? >>
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? >>
>> DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" >>
>> HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. >>
>> DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - yes. >>
>> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb, sexy, blonde, supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now >>
>> DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely. >>
>> SIGN HERE: Sagittarius >
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Jasmyn
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Each day will be a new trick in life's journey
 
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Re: Welcome to Walmart
« Reply #2 on: Dec 2nd, 2005, 4:07pm » |
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Honesty goes a long way, about 75 years 
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Jazz
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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Charlie
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Re: Welcome to Walmart
« Reply #3 on: Dec 2nd, 2005, 10:42pm » |
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Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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sandie99
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Re: Welcome to Walmart
« Reply #4 on: Dec 3rd, 2005, 5:00am » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Jimmy_B.
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Re: Welcome to Walmart
« Reply #5 on: Dec 4th, 2005, 9:04am » |
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This same guy applied at McDonalds.  I think he needs to broaden his employment horizons.
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.htm
I love how these stories make the rounds....
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"I'd much rather be HAPPY then RIGHT any day" Slartibartfast
Get informed! Don't vote a party ticket. Go to www.vote-smart.org and find out where your political candidates stand.
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