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Topic: Interesting II (Read 760 times) |
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Miklos
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Interesting II
« on: Nov 28th, 2005, 8:54pm » |
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I am in my third week of training for a Call Center that supports a major broadband offering. (OK, I needed the money.)
What I have learned:
When a call taker places you on HOLD, it is not true. They place you on MUTE. This is in case you get disturbed after being on HOLD for several minutes. We hear everything you say.
High spot of the day: Get that fucking kid out of here. I am on the phone.
"Calls may be recorded for quality purposes." Wrong! This is so the supervisors can hang my ass if I say something stupid. All calls are recorded and replayed at the supervisor's convenience.
I need to get rid of you in less than 13.45 minutes which is the Average Handling Time. Or, my KPI suffers.
KPI? Key Performance Indicators.
I may revise this post as I acquire more experience.
If you have broadband problems and Michael answers, HANG UP NOW!
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| « Last Edit: Nov 28th, 2005, 8:55pm by Miklos » |
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Jonny
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #1 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:03pm » |
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LMAO....Mike...thanks for the info.....sorry, bro!!
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broomhilda
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #2 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:08pm » |
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KPI's gosh I love these buzzwords or terms they come up with 
Sorry Mike, that sucks...
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Suck it up Princess...
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Opus
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #3 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:16pm » |
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on Nov 28th, 2005, 8:54pm, Michael wrote:I am in my third week of training for a Call Center that supports a major broadband offering. (OK, I needed the money.)
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I hope for your sake not AOL,
AOL users must bring a new meaning to the term starfish.
Opus/Paul
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ShariRae
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #4 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:18pm » |
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hey Mike...I do the same work (ickkk) but sometimes people just make ya nuts.I had to put a woman on hold because I told her to "right click" on something and she said 'I am right clicking you idiot,I am right handed" I had to put her on hold cuz I was laughing so hard I thought I was gonna pee my pants! My boss just about died laughing when I told him why she was on hold.
I also had a frustrated customer(who wasn't doing what I told him to do) tell me to suck his **%^#@&(, I calmly replied "Sir, If you cant handle me on the phone,you most certainly couldn't handle me doing THAT". He promptly asked for my boss & told him he sorry he was for being a pig to the "very knowledgeable & helpful woman on the phone"
It aint easy!
Much Luck
Shari
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PollyPocket
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #5 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:21pm » |
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oh mike darlin', take it from someone who worked for a call center for 7 years.
things I learned from the lying sack of sh*ts who run Crapital Won.
This call may be monitored for quality purposes:
1. means this sorry associates' ass is on the line with each and every call she takes.
2. each call must be handled in 180 SECONDS or less- and you have to handle the issue the caller is calling about, listen the nonsense they go on and on and on about, SELL THEM SOMETHING THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF BUYING, and then OVERCOME THE OBJECTION in 180 SECONDS or less or this sorry associates' ass is on the line.
3. "no, we have no intention of closing this site" means we have every intention of closing this site but we are lying about it.
4. "no, we have no intention of outsourcing your jobs to India and pay no mind to those Indian trainees" means you're screwed but we're lying about it.
5. "no, we're not closing this site and moving your jobs to India but we want you to train those people from India in your job qualifications- oh, and teach them to do it in 180 SECONDS OR LESS" means you're REALLY screwed but we're lying about it.
6. Remember to say: "Thank you for calling Crapital Won" 
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
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Mr. Happy
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #6 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:28pm » |
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Cool tip. Welcome to working in the private sector. Nice career move.
Only 40 yrs to go till retirement, but who's counting.
RJ
:As an afterthought......did you do the requisite 4 yr college program w/degree, and run up a $60,000 debt to get this entry level low paying suck ass job as a gateway to your future? Inquiring minds, the bane of humanity....
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| « Last Edit: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:37pm by Mr. Happy » |
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Miklos
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #7 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:32pm » |
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Jennifer:
Would you please marry me? I will divorce my wife of 40 years if necessary.
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Don't be offended by my frank analysis. Think of it as personality dialysis.
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Charlie
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #8 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:34pm » |
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Thanks. The cheat sheet looks better all the time.
Charlie 
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Miklos
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #9 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:44pm » |
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Hap:
I graduated from college in 1971. Last month I paid off my last loan.
I am older than you and Charlie. My career was ruined long ago.
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PollyPocket
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #10 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:45pm » |
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on Nov 28th, 2005, 9:32pm, Michael wrote:Jennifer:
Would you please marry me? I will divorce my wife of 40 years if necessary. |
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only if you can meet or exceed MY performance standards ;) teehee
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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Mr. Happy
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #11 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 9:50pm » |
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on Nov 28th, 2005, 9:44pm, Michael wrote:Hap:
I graduated from college in 1971. Last month I paid off my last loan.
I am older than you and Charlie. My career was ruined long ago. |
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And now, decades later, this is the pinnacle of corporate ladder climbing. Holy steamish. And if you're older than Chaz, you should be dead already.
"Please hold."
Just shoot me.
RJ
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Lizzie2
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #12 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 10:03pm » |
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Now I'd love to know how hard they're laughing while listening to my recorded conversations to Dell.
When I get mad....well.....
This morning I waited in line for 20 minutes to find out that they are out of parking tickets for the garage I park in...this was after finishing a 12 hour shift. So instead, I asked for train tickets. First the guy said, "For NJ Transit, right?" I said..."No...duh...SEPTA" (ooops...rudeness number 1)
Then he asked how I was paying, and I said with Debit. He said, "Our system is down and you can only pay with pre-tax or cash."
So I said "You should put a sign up for that while people wait in line for 30 minutes."
And on that note.....
Have you seen the DHL commercial on service standards? Every time I see it, I laugh harder. Especially when the grocery cashier slams the milk down into the bag.
Life in our times.
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Miklos
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #13 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 10:17pm » |
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Keen! I want to read Jennifer's list of KPIs.
Hap: If she responds, don't read it. Your heart will stop.
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Kevin_M
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #14 on: Nov 28th, 2005, 11:08pm » |
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on Nov 28th, 2005, 8:54pm, Michael wrote:| I am in my third week of training for a Call Center that supports a major broadband offering. |
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Ya haven't hit the floor yet for 8/day, 40/week of dealing with your public endeavor.
The mute is to say: Get off my fuking phone you @sshole.
Hold is for: Coming back with the right answer or if not, hoping they hang up waiting.
Management is for: To tell you how to do your job because they don't want to answer a phone themselves so they come up with more and more dumb crap for you to get into the conversation, usually concluded far after the person has hung up.
Your online help manual is so constantly updated and disorganized, there is no way to find what you are looking for when you need it but management constantly tells you "all your tools you need are at your fingertips", so they aren't bothered when the new Avon books come out.
Customer relations means: Every single person who calls has a problem for you and are already at the point of being unreasonable about it because they've called back four times and it seems it's everyone at your company that has the problem.
Being of no service to the customer means: Your company's policies suck and you have to be the bearer of bad news and take charge of the call, meaning repeating the same thing to the customer that they already know and don't want to hear.
Get used to repeating yourself several times while the customer converses also with the two other people in the background, nothing you've told them has been written down and then their cell phone rings.
Use mute button at will.
Congratulations on the new job.
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| « Last Edit: Nov 28th, 2005, 11:37pm by Kevin_M » |
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Azrael
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #15 on: Nov 29th, 2005, 1:38am » |
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Hold is when they ask to place you on hold, and you hear that crappy elevator music. Mute is when they ask to place you on hold, and you hear dead air, not knowing if they are still there, or if you'll hear the tri-tone soon. And for any customer care agents out there... Do not depend on mute actually working. From my experience, those headsets they make you use are normally so old and crappy that the mute button prolly broke a decade or so ago. If you can hear your voice in the headset when the mute is on, it's a good chance that the customer can hear you making fun of them too.
And for ya customers... If you don't like the bone head CCA who first answered the call, ask to speak to a supervisor. The first person you talk to won't actually be a supervisor, but there's a fifty-fifty chance that they'll actually be better at pretending that they know what they're talkin' about. The next person you talk about will likely at least be someone bein' paid a little more than the first guy ya talked to, but still prolly not a supervisor. The fourth person may actually be a supervisor, just not of the department that you were speakin' to. The fifth guy will be the first guy again, and if you notice, they'll appologize and tell you that their supervisor is buzy, and if you want to wait, he'll place you on hold for exactly 2 minutes. Finally, you'll prolly be talkin' to the correct manager... Yay! Only to hear what the first guy said with more empathy. After that, they'll explain that their manager is not currently available, and take your name and number for them to call you back as soon as they can... Which basically means that you'll be calling back in a few days, cussing the first person until they cry, screaming at the next person until they have a stroke, threatening the supervisor until they fear leavin' the building, and finally talking to the manager, who tells you the same thing the first person said, but obviously not giving a damn about you, your business, or your problem. So the moral of the story... CS sux!
PFDAN.................................... Drk^Angel
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LeLimey
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #16 on: Nov 29th, 2005, 4:28am » |
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Jen I work for Cap one here, used to be in the call centre to start with but in debt man. I can't tell you the amount of times I had calls trasnferred from India because customers refused to speak to someone who wasn't speaking English or would only answer with standard answers.. I've seen on the BB's "Won't Speak to India" We have adverts in the local papers EVERY single week as nottingham is an area of high employment and C1 can't get enough staff here.. and Brits don't do indian call centres! I myself changed my car insurance to a company who doesn't have an indian call centre, ads on the telly state "all our call centres are in the UK" and it works.
What you guys need is to refuse to let companies there outsource.. pester power works, learn from your kids! 
(wanna compare notes sometime on the funniest calls?!)
Oh and don't forget "Securiteeee!" If you don't answer our questions to cover our sorry arses and make sure we are talking to the account holder we can't proceed with the call.. well not without losing our jobs cos you can bet if you forget THAT call will have been witnessed!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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PollyPocket
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #17 on: Nov 29th, 2005, 7:27am » |
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Those of us who didn't believe the second part of the lie that we'd have jobs in Richmond after they closed the other VA site, took the severance package and moved on. Those who believed the lie are now out of jobs because........why?.........their jobs again were outsourced to where.............India! Second time in 2 years. Some of the pple I worked with sold their homes and moved to Richmond, only to lose their jobs in like 9 months after being told they wouldn't.
I was in CR phones for 3 years and some of the calls were hilarious. Like the people who couldn't grasp the concept that credit cards are not gift cards-and once the money is gone, you can't just call up and get another one.
But the absolute BEST were once I went to correspondence. Did you know that there is a King of America?! There is! And he wrote to us!! We saved some of the funniest stuff-minus ANY identifying info and I'll see if I can find it. Y'all will die laughing!
added: to dark angel: I totally agree with you! customer service has gone to hell! If you are a cust. svc rep, give 100%, nothing less. Its not a piss-poor job, its nothing to be ashamed of, its a great way to be a representative of a good company (as long as its a company with ethics-see above). I enjoyed it and it can be fun. But nowadays, people just don't care, its just a paycheck and they don't give a f'k, get 'em off the phone, out of the store, whatever, its like, 'not my responsibility'. Even the managers are like that now. I'm now dealing with a 2 month old overcharge that noone seems to want to address. Its "I'll research that and get back to you" and I'm still out $80.00- even from the manager! aaaaggghh!!!!
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| « Last Edit: Nov 29th, 2005, 7:36am by PollyPocket » |
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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LeLimey
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #18 on: Nov 29th, 2005, 10:57am » |
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I used to love coming off a call knowing I'd really helped someone, settling them up with a payment plan, stopping their fee's as long as they stuck to it, advising them of where to go for further help. I felt I did a really good job. Ended up with a training new hires role so I can't have done too badly LOL
I had one guy one day who insisted he wasn't going to pay and that we'd never find him. So I decided .. what the hell and proceeded to scare the bollocks off him. All my team mates were gathered round listening in and pissing themselves laughing.
I was there telling him we could trace his location from his cell phone signal and have bailifs waiting for him, that even if he changed his phone it wouldn't matter, we could track him through his NI number if he was working or claiming benefits, Told him we could even track him if he needed to see a doctor via his NHS number. I really padded it out and for people who are into all this big brother is watching you stuff it was really convincing! I had him thinking he would be followed by security camera's everywhere and the little shit dug out his debit card and payed in full! It was brilliant! I was always getting told to toughen up, that I was too soft but I proved otherwise that day  People who think they can have a free ride on everyone elses back really piss me off though.
Oh and there is a King of America.. he lives in Boston doesn't he?!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Redd
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #19 on: Nov 29th, 2005, 11:00am » |
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Quote:Only 40 yrs to go till retirement, but who's counting.
RJ
:As an afterthought......did you do the requisite 4 yr college program w/degree, and run up a $60,000 debt to get this entry level low paying suck ass job as a gateway to your future? Inquiring minds, the bane of humanity.... |
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RJ that would be ME...
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #20 on: Nov 29th, 2005, 12:04pm » |
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Sorry to all who work in call centers but I'd rather sell crack on a street corner in Chicago than work in a call center.
I have never talked to someone on a call center that I didn't want to strangle before I got off of the phone.
I'm sure that there are some very nice and highly educated people working in these places but I always seem to get the person with such a heavy Indian accent that I can't understand a word they are saying or I wind up with an uneducated, crack addicted, jive speaking, ghetto babe who can barely read the script that they use.
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| « Last Edit: Nov 29th, 2005, 12:07pm by ExplodingEyeBall » |
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Miklos
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #21 on: Nov 29th, 2005, 8:10pm » |
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ExplodingEyeBall:
...I wind up with an uneducated, crack addicted, jive speaking, ghetto babe who can barely read the script that they use.
While you have characterized me correctly, I am not a "ghetto babe." Otherwise, you are right on.
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| « Last Edit: Nov 29th, 2005, 8:14pm by Miklos » |
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Cerberus
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #22 on: Nov 29th, 2005, 10:09pm » |
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uh huh, call centers... yeah, Thats a good one. I do NOT...I repeat NOT discredit any of you who do that for a living. I however, work in a living "call center" so to speak. Yup you guessed it, 90% of my day deals directly (that means face to face) with the idiots who call you. the other 10% is spent in direct contact either with the exact scenario you describe, phone contact, OR calling you directly (i.e. "helpless desk" for anomalous computer stuff that the same helpless desk has locked us out of to fix the problem in the first place.
Its called the hospitality industry... when you get sick of doing that stuff over the phone, apply in person to a restaurant and you'll wish you had your job back... I don't get the benefit of putting people on "hold". Mute, would be a blessing and if I have to call another person's name to come get their food and they just stand there looking at me blankly (as if they forgot their own name) and then ask me if what is on the counter is theirs? OR stand there ignoring me like just described, and then get MAD at me because THEY didn't respond? I'll start manufacturing weapons of mass destruction. Oh, and I get a grand total of two minutes from the time they walk in the door to the time I am supposed to be handing them their food... (yes that includes the 8 hours it takes them to make up their minds what they want, and then changing their mind in the middle of the order, and THEN deciding it should be to-go instead of dine-in... you do the math).
I emplore you, when going out to eat... decide where you want to eat, and have a general idea of what you want before you order ( I know this can be challenging) but you only have a 30-60 minute lunch break, and I only get two minutes of that time.
This has been a public service announcement brought to you by a man who owns firearms and who has been doing this for 20+ years.
Thank you and have a nice fuckin' day.
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Azrael
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #23 on: Nov 30th, 2005, 10:00am » |
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I will never ever work in a call center again. It's not even necessarily the calls that was the problem. It was the fact that the company was more concerned with following the guidelines than helping the customer. If I would've got marked down on a QA for sayin' "Hmm" one more time, I was gonna go suicide bomber on 'em (when is sayin' "Hmm" one time during a call excessive?) Of course, being screamed at for the first 15 minutes of a call because the person they talked to before was a complete moron (that's what ya get for askin' for a supervisor) isn't all fun either. Oh well... for nearly five years I helped the customers I could help, assisted the ones I couldn't, and yelled at the complete arseholes until they cried. I think from now on, I'll stick with providing face to face customer service.
PFDAN......................... Drk^Angel
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: Interesting II
« Reply #24 on: Nov 30th, 2005, 10:11am » |
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on Nov 29th, 2005, 8:10pm, Michael wrote:ExplodingEyeBall:
...I wind up with an uneducated, crack addicted, jive speaking, ghetto babe who can barely read the script that they use.
While you have characterized me correctly, I am not a "ghetto babe." Otherwise, you are right on.
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You type English very well for an Indian speaking, uneducated, jive speaking, crack addict who can't read a script.
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| « Last Edit: Nov 30th, 2005, 10:12am by ExplodingEyeBall » |
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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