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Topic: Funny stuff! (Read 256 times) |
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Donna_D.
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Funny stuff!
« on: Nov 21st, 2005, 12:03pm » |
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Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing
to the bowl.
"Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all
winter!"
The pastor fainted.
This has been the only thing that has made me smile all day...so I figured someone else out there might need a smile too!!
DD
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BarbaraD
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Hugs to ya
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Re: Funny stuff!
« Reply #1 on: Nov 21st, 2005, 12:08pm » |
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Since the flu shots are in such short supply -- you may have just hit on the answer to the flu cure!!! We all go out and buy condoms, place them in a bowl of water on the organ...... About as good as the government is coming up with. Think I'll send this to my senators and congressmen - No, I KNOW I will.......
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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sandie99
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Re: Funny stuff!
« Reply #2 on: Nov 21st, 2005, 12:10pm » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Ghost
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Farting relieves the pressure
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Re: Funny stuff!
« Reply #3 on: Nov 21st, 2005, 12:43pm » |
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Three Women In Mexico Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, I just graduated from Baylor University and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her. The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and, again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her. The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Alabama and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, y'all ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Jasmyn
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Each day will be a new trick in life's journey
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Re: Funny stuff!
« Reply #4 on: Nov 21st, 2005, 1:30pm » |
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Thanks Donna and Goaty
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Jazz
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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Donna_D.
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Re: Funny stuff!
« Reply #5 on: Nov 21st, 2005, 4:54pm » |
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A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox.
The little boy has to go to take a pee and he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.
At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say to the little girl to excuse himself.
Then he remembers what his mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table.
So he turns to the little girl and says "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose". And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.
When he comes back the little girl looks up at him and asks "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes" said the little boy stepping back into the sandbox.
"Well then" says the little girl, "You'd better close your compact because your lipstick is hanging out!"
DD
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Sandy_C
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Burn that bra!
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Re: Funny stuff!
« Reply #6 on: Nov 21st, 2005, 8:02pm » |
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Thanks Donna and Goatee, gave me a chuckle, and now I will say goodnight to all. Sleep well and PF.
Sandy
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Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
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zanychef
New Board Newbie
i'm busting with a masx cant really go wrong can i
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Re: Funny stuff!
« Reply #7 on: Nov 21st, 2005, 8:09pm » |
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i like it
thanks for the giggles
ian
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plenty of time to sleep now me headaches aint too bad
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