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Topic: TGIF? - Instead of funnies... (Read 204 times) |
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Carl_D
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I've decided to rant a few.
Why?
Because I can, I do and so far, am beyond giving a shit. So, friday funnies are cancelled forever! NO SOUP FOR YOU FRIDAY!
However, I will return tomorrow and will begin an all new edition called the saturday dunnies. Damnit - that is the fifth time I attempted to type an F and instead hit D - Dunnies - funnies, you get the fucking picture! Will be adding a new feature called 'fun with audio' now that I found a source to upload media. What is really funny with the audio is - it will now take me 3 times as long to do the funnies for about the same amount of content time. Ain't I fucking genius? I found a way to make the wheel rotate twice as slow while sucking down three times the amount of gas. I should be working for FORD!
Now on to the rant (for those who thought what you just read was a rant.. don't EVEN get me fucking started)!
Forgive me for not giving names, dates, times, and warranties subject to approval from authorized distributors of the media. A thousand apologies! I deserve a nice, long spanking for not being so in tune with actual events, just what our grande media provides:
An 18 year old was elected mayor of his town somewhere in dwindling BFE recently. While I think this is as landmark as a woman president, I questioin any authority not allowed in a nudie bar. You mean to tell me this kid can decide what major changes should happen to a rundown town, yet isn't even old enough to learn what is an 'acceptable tip' to lapdancers barmaids in an adult club? At least Miriam Berry got crack off of the street, even though he did it one rock at a time.
Paris Hilton was in a car crash but was not seriously injured. Thankfully both of her airbags were deployed as usual. However, her lifelong brain injury continues to be as obvious as her airbags.
My friends think I have gone crazy because I am starting to really get into country music which I have despised an turned against since first hearing KISS and Black Sabbath and Alice Cooper at age 7. PAHLEEEEZE! I am just getting back into touch with my roots. Though I realize if I get any more in touch my roots I might either be pushing up daisies or questioning the combination of my heritage which includes 2 parts native american some Irish and some Jewish. No WONDER I feel like my land has been taken, feel guilty for it, and have the urge to drink and hang out with Mickey Rourke and Sean Penn... oh and Lou Diamond Phillips - just keeping it realy y'all.
Also, if you are part german and part jew, will this cause suicidal tendencies?
Speaking of suicide, I have decided I will end my life, but only if I can find a way to take out several suicide bombers and terrorists with me at the same time. Shit - just let me take out Zarqawi - that alone would be worth it, but some phallic-spud (read close - dicktater) would just take his miserable excuse for a place on this planet.
I think the slowest, most miserable form of death is life. After all, life will not let up on you until you are dead. It has been proven!
I've decided to donate my body to science. Unfortunately it was returned as defective.
And on that note, I will go shower since the beast has abandoned me once more and am coming to my senses (HA! HUH? ) and pretend like yesterday (was it yesterday? huh? Dammit Scotty - beam down the rest of my fucking brain you nitwit) that I have had sleep. Less than 5 hours total for what 7 days? And that is all I will say about that. I promise no more whining. Instead will just rant. Will promise to keep up on the Saturday Funnies, unless cancelled by my sister network - MILF and COOKIES!
On that note, happy fucking friday! 
Dangermoose
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zanychef
New Board Newbie
i'm busting with a masx cant really go wrong can i
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Posts: 46
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Re: TGIF? - Instead of funnies...
« Reply #1 on: Nov 11th, 2005, 7:23am » |
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glad you got that off your chest Carl 
now get the funnies done! 
ian
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plenty of time to sleep now me headaches aint too bad
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Melissa
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Re: TGIF? - Instead of funnies...
« Reply #2 on: Nov 11th, 2005, 7:51am » |
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on Nov 11th, 2005, 6:03am, Carl_D wrote:| Dammit Scotty - beam down the rest of my fucking brain you nitwit |
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Sorry to tell you this, but Scotty's dead.
Damn, I hate being the bearer of bad news. 
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Wendy
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Re: TGIF? - Instead of funnies...
« Reply #3 on: Nov 11th, 2005, 8:12am » |
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I would rather have FUNNIES!!!!!! Bring em on!
No offense, Carl
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