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Topic: Savage burn! (Read 392 times) |
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Lobster
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Savage burn!
« on: Nov 9th, 2005, 6:08pm » |
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This is golden...
http://houston.craigslist.org/rnr/107081114.html
The text...
-----Original Message-----
From: [mailto:*******
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 9:50 AM
To: ******
Subject: ugh
Brad,
It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I
feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I
am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the
people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person
that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all
for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all
of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can
handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even
handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't
handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird,
I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The
world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me,
there are songs I can't listen to, and I just ! feel beyond crushed. I
don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping
that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also
hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds
totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant
role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally
strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior
didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you
hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a
terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say
or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that
fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever
imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my
life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.
I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you
won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for
getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at
your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be
great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel
like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it
was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I
really don't think I can handle that.
I am so sorry.
Elizabeth
The Reply:
-----Original Message-----
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 12:02 PM
Subject: Re: Ugh....enjoy.
Dear Elizabeth,
Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L"
for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken sleepers I couldn't care less
about".
You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting
to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load
of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45
minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long
because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid
thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.
To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and
degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour
span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't Fuck
him" somehow gave you a clean slate.
So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to
you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been
most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings
for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't
think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run
of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as
your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty
hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my
place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up
tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning
commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for
a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that
when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on
top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh
our heads off about the time it happened.
By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class
you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs
you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little
like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.
PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.
Talk to you never,
Brad
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| « Last Edit: Nov 9th, 2005, 6:12pm by Lobster » |
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Jonny
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #1 on: Nov 9th, 2005, 6:18pm » |
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WAY TOO FUNNY!!!!.....LMMFAO 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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E-Double
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #2 on: Nov 9th, 2005, 7:00pm » |
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Fantastic!!!!!
Kinda reminds me of something that happened to me in college......
I went to see a girl I was dating.
Walked into her room and there she was getting plowed from behind by her ex-boyfriend.
The fuckers just froze and he didn't have the courtesy to pull out......they just had that shocked face, agape, jaws dropped.
I saw red and just flew....
Knocked the fucker in the head and broke his nose all over her back.
It was classic.
The funny thing was that he had just healed from a nose job.
Needless to say he needed another one after I shattered his.
We broke up and I wound up dating her best friend for shits and giggles 
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Karla
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #3 on: Nov 9th, 2005, 7:09pm » |
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This is NOT funny! This is and should be private between the two individuals involved. Posting this is deplorable and unthinkable. It is no body's buisness but the two involved. There is NOTHING humorous here.
'
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| « Last Edit: Nov 9th, 2005, 7:10pm by Karla » |
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Karla
suffer chronic ch
ch.com groupie since 1999
Proud Mom of Chris USMC Semper Fi
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Jonny
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #4 on: Nov 9th, 2005, 7:14pm » |
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on Nov 9th, 2005, 7:09pm, Karla wrote:| There is NOTHING humorous here. |
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Sure there is....the fact that the who-re can say she is sorry that she was sucking dick in the bathroom while her man was at the bar waiting for her......What a HO!!!!!
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| « Last Edit: Nov 9th, 2005, 7:15pm by Jonny » |
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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vig
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #5 on: Nov 9th, 2005, 7:29pm » |
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probably should have been kept between the two of them....
bbbbbbut....
too bad she chose to bring more people into the picture.
sometimes we pay a heavy price for bad behaviour.
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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Charlie
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #6 on: Nov 9th, 2005, 8:48pm » |
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It's a damn good thing I started to smile a bit as I read the thing...otherwise I'd have looked into having our Rex put down.... 
Harmless and pretty silly. 
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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kissmyglass
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #7 on: Nov 9th, 2005, 9:44pm » |
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She blew him for 45 minutes??? got her number?????? 
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"It does so fucking look like her" - Picasso
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Woobie
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #8 on: Nov 10th, 2005, 4:03am » |
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was this actually Rocks email - or something he found??
i think it would be funnier if it was something he found and not HIS life.
if it happened to you Rock - I'm sorry you had that happen to you.
so give Kissmyglass this ho's number. help a fellow clusterbud out. 
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LeLimey
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #9 on: Nov 10th, 2005, 4:43am » |
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Well it made me laugh!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Azrael
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #10 on: Nov 10th, 2005, 6:46am » |
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Dunno about you, but if it takes 45 minutes, it would seem either... a: Women should be askin' for the guy's number or... b: The ho must be a really shitty blow... "Dammit... Suck not blow... Exactly how blonde are you?"
PFDAN................................... Drk^Angel
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| « Last Edit: Nov 10th, 2005, 6:47am by Azrael » |
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Jeepgun
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #11 on: Nov 10th, 2005, 8:27am » |
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I about pissed myself laughing.. This is hilarious!
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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Lobster
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #12 on: Nov 10th, 2005, 8:36am » |
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lol...
no woob's... was not me. i shared it since brad, the victim, has quite the way with words.
nice one e-doub. i noted that as well in the past... girls seem to really like to service their best friends ex.
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Rock beats Scissors.
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rickyshot
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ouch
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #13 on: Nov 10th, 2005, 8:43am » |
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Although I would not make my business public, I have no sympathy for this woman. And if I had a man to do this, he would get the same treatment this ho got. What was she thinking and what did she expect??? People who do this kind of thing are dead to me hence the ex. I do not even take his calls (he still calls after 10 months) and the silence is deafening.......
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jimmers
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #14 on: Nov 10th, 2005, 10:02am » |
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Geez,
Now I have coffee all over my monitor.LMMFAO
That is classic.
Seeya,
jimmers
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I don't suffer from INSANITY; I'm enjoying every minute of it!
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giffy76
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #15 on: Nov 10th, 2005, 11:01am » |
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on Nov 9th, 2005, 7:09pm, Karla wrote:This is NOT funny! This is and should be private between the two individuals involved. Posting this is deplorable and unthinkable. It is no body's buisness but the two involved. There is NOTHING humorous here.
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I don't care who ya are, that's funny.
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juvy
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #16 on: Nov 10th, 2005, 11:13am » |
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LMAO
I have to admit this is funnier than hell...hope it's just a joke for the guy's sake.
further more any person who does something like that to another person deserves any embarassment they get for treating someone like shit.
Had a guy tell me he had an affair just to get my attention. I gave him my attention...In the form of a broken nose.
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Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.
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Woobie
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #17 on: Nov 10th, 2005, 7:18pm » |
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ok - since it isn't you - it's halarious!
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Sandy_C
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Burn that bra!
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #18 on: Nov 10th, 2005, 7:31pm » |
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Hilarious! When I clicked on the link, got message "This posting has been removed by craiglist community". Date of removal 10/27/05. Hmmmmm. Who's Craig and why did HE remove the post??? Questions, questions.
Sandy
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Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
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Jasmyn
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Re: Savage burn!
« Reply #19 on: Nov 11th, 2005, 2:48am » |
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on Nov 10th, 2005, 7:31pm, Sandy_C wrote:Hilarious! When I clicked on the link, got message "This posting has been removed by craiglist community". Date of removal 10/27/05. Hmmmmm. Who's Craig and why did HE remove the post??? Questions, questions.
Sandy |
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Maybe she blew him off? 
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Jazz
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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