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Topic: *sings* Your cheatin' heart... (Read 285 times) |
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Big Dan
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*sings* Your cheatin' heart...
« on: Nov 7th, 2005, 11:27am » |
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A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That’s quite a heavy drink. What’s wrong?"
After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, "I found my wife in bed with my best friend."
"Wow," says the barkeep. "What’d you do?"
"I walked over to my wife," the man replies, "looked her straight in the eye, and told her to pack her stuff and get the hell out."
"That makes sense," says the bartender. "And what about your best friend?"
"I walked over, looked him right in the eye, and yelled, ‘Bad dog!’"
-Big Dan
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Not going anywhere for a while?...
... Grab a Snickers, Fatass.
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kimmiedawn81
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Re: *sings* Your cheatin' heart...
« Reply #1 on: Nov 7th, 2005, 11:35am » |
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Ewwwwww!!!!!!!
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sandie99
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Re: *sings* Your cheatin' heart...
« Reply #2 on: Nov 7th, 2005, 12:32pm » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
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Jasmyn
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Re: *sings* Your cheatin' heart...
« Reply #3 on: Nov 7th, 2005, 12:37pm » |
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Jazz 
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Langa
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Re: *sings* Your cheatin' heart...
« Reply #4 on: Nov 7th, 2005, 1:51pm » |
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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Bondservant
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Re: *sings* Your cheatin' heart...
« Reply #5 on: Nov 7th, 2005, 3:38pm » |
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OK. So this guy is shipwrecked on a desert island with no way of escape. His only companions are a dog and a pig. Fortunately, there is plenty of fruit and food growing naturally so he and the animals are surviving nicely... After a few days, the guy gets lonely and, feeling amorous, decides to make a move on the pig... Late that night, he .gets up and starts for the pig, but suddenly the dog leaps up, snarling and barking, and jumps between him and the pig, protecting it. Deterred, the guy decides he'll try another time. The next evening, he moves for the pig only to have the dog repeat the previous night's performance, snarling and barking. Thwarted yet again, and unfulfilled, he goes back to sleep. The next evening there is a big storm and all the animals take shelter in a small cave. The dog never sleeps or leaves the pig's side. The next morning, as they all exit the cave, the man discovers another shipwreck and a beautiful, young, redheaded woman unconscious, on the beach. He immediately rushes to her side, administers mouth to mouth, and revives her. As she awakes, she looks into his eyes, full of gratitude and admiration... She says: "thank you thank you thank you for saving me. I owe you my life. Surely I would do ANYTHING for you. Whatever you ask. WHATEVER can I do to repay this kindness?" The guy, without missing a beat says: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
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kimmiedawn81
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Re: *sings* Your cheatin' heart...
« Reply #6 on: Nov 7th, 2005, 9:30pm » |
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on Nov 7th, 2005, 3:38pm, Bondservant wrote:| OK. So this guy is shipwrecked on a desert island with no way of escape. His only companions are a dog and a pig. Fortunately, there is plenty of fruit and food growing naturally so he and the animals are surviving nicely... After a few days, the guy gets lonely and, feeling amorous, decides to make a move on the pig... Late that night, he .gets up and starts for the pig, but suddenly the dog leaps up, snarling and barking, and jumps between him and the pig, protecting it. Deterred, the guy decides he'll try another time. The next evening, he moves for the pig only to have the dog repeat the previous night's performance, snarling and barking. Thwarted yet again, and unfulfilled, he goes back to sleep. The next evening there is a big storm and all the animals take shelter in a small cave. The dog never sleeps or leaves the pig's side. The next morning, as they all exit the cave, the man discovers another shipwreck and a beautiful, young, redheaded woman unconscious, on the beach. He immediately rushes to her side, administers mouth to mouth, and revives her. As she awakes, she looks into his eyes, full of gratitude and admiration... She says: "thank you thank you thank you for saving me. I owe you my life. Surely I would do ANYTHING for you. Whatever you ask. WHATEVER can I do to repay this kindness?" The guy, without missing a beat says: "Could you take the dog for a walk?" |
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LOL 
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TxBasslady
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Re: *sings* Your cheatin' heart...
« Reply #7 on: Nov 7th, 2005, 11:00pm » |
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on Nov 7th, 2005, 11:27am, Big Dan wrote:A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That’s quite a heavy drink. What’s wrong?"
After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, "I found my wife in bed with my best friend."
"Wow," says the barkeep. "What’d you do?"
"I walked over to my wife," the man replies, "looked her straight in the eye, and told her to pack her stuff and get the hell out."
"That makes sense," says the bartender. "And what about your best friend?"
"I walked over, looked him right in the eye, and yelled, ‘Bad dog!’" |
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Now that....is plum sick!!! 
You're bad.....Dan 
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas! 
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Big Dan
CH.com Alumnus
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SMASH BRAIN!
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Re: *sings* Your cheatin' heart...
« Reply #8 on: Nov 7th, 2005, 11:05pm » |
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on Nov 7th, 2005, 11:00pm, TxBasslady wrote:
Now that....is plum sick!!!
You're bad.....Dan
Jean
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Hey, now, it's not MY story...
... if it were, I'd have bought a 2nd dog.
O_o
-Big Dan
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Not going anywhere for a while?...
... Grab a Snickers, Fatass.
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TxBasslady
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Bass fishin' is a h00t It's the catchin' that sux
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Re: *sings* Your cheatin' heart...
« Reply #9 on: Nov 7th, 2005, 11:23pm » |
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Well, it sounds like your story 
But....you can make up for it...by showing your slimey ass in Davenport long about January 26 or 27th.
You know you wanna go....
See ya,
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas!
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Woobie
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I luv you guys!!!!!!!!
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Re: *sings* Your cheatin' heart...
« Reply #10 on: Nov 8th, 2005, 1:23am » |
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on Nov 7th, 2005, 11:23pm, TxBasslady wrote:Well, it sounds like your story
But....you can make up for it...by showing your slimey ass in Davenport long about January 26 or 27th.
You know you wanna go....
See ya,
Jean |
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YEAH............... you skipped out on us last year. We MISS YOU !!!!!!!!!!
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