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pubgirl
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Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« on: Nov 1st, 2005, 7:27pm » |
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Wendy the Brit/pubgirl here, and I'm in serious need of help from friendly Americans which I think someone on here may be able to give.
I am very sorry to return in this way and very sorry to anyone I offended when I deleted myself and I swear it is only a brief visit but it is the only place on the web where I feel I can ask safely.
A very close and much too young friend of mine is dying in the USA - possibly only days or hours left having been flown out there for treatment, and it is a strong possibility I or my husband will have to fly out at short notice to help her husband deal with things after she dies and help him get her body home as neither of them are from the USA and her family are not British or USA nationals and cannot get visas to get there to either say goodbye or help him.
I am sure the hospital will tell him what he has to do, but he isn't even coherent now and is losing it totally so I would really like to know what is involved either because I may be there doing it or so I can help him on the 'phone.
I have done a websearch but am getting nowhere. It is an awful thing to ask but does anyone know a good website with info about repatriating bodies to the Uk from the USA I can read.
Sorry to ask this but as you can see, it is a bad situation.
Wendy
Added: I'm conscious that you may think this is some kind of sick joke. I promise it isn't, the hospital is in Pittsburgh and is called Shadyside
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| « Last Edit: Nov 1st, 2005, 7:42pm by pubgirl » |
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Ree
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s anRe: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #1 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 7:46pm » |
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Hi Wendy... In most cases people chose to creamate their loved one's remains. It is so expensive to move a body so many miles abroad... I am so sorry for your friend's anguish. This cannot be easy... God bless and God speed. Ree
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| « Last Edit: Nov 1st, 2005, 7:47pm by Ree » |
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Jonny
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #2 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 7:46pm » |
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God forbid she dies, she will be sent back to England on the same plane as here husband.
Wendy, you are always welcome here....Always!!
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| « Last Edit: Nov 1st, 2005, 7:46pm by Jonny » |
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pubgirl
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #3 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 7:54pm » |
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Thanks both of you, it is much appreciated
There is no question of if, only when now as it is close. I am pretty sure they will want to bring the body back as her family haven't and can't see her because they are Serbian and can't get visas to go to the USA.
I'm not sure what Serbian Orthodox religion thinks of cremation also.
I just feel I need to know what has to be done paperwork/procedures etc in case I or my hubby are on the next plane out there to help the husband as he is on his own and in a real state.
W
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| « Last Edit: Nov 1st, 2005, 7:56pm by pubgirl » |
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Cathi04
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #4 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 8:03pm » |
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Wendy,
I am so sorry! it is wonderful that they have your help...now, if we can only find out what you need.
Have you tried your Ambassador's ofc?
I know a friend of ours, years ago, travelled to Spain with another friend, the friend dies suddenly, and our friend,after much red tape, ended up escorting the body home.
I'll see if I can find anything at all, meantime, I'm wishing you well, and offering a shoulder should you need one.
Fondly,
Cathi 
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Kris_in_SJ
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #5 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 8:10pm » |
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Poor Wendy,
I don't remember anything about what you might have done to offend anyone here, so I'm just glad to hear/read you.
I wish I could help you more. I know how to get a body back to the States when that person dies in another country - private charter and lots of money.
I vote with Cathi. Try your embassy first. After all, our countries are allies and should be able to help each other with such things. Regardless, the cost will probably be precious. Wish I had better news.
Hugs. Please PM if I can help in any other way.
Kris
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #6 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 8:14pm » |
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sorry you have such a hard time 
cant help as i never had any experience with that
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Annette_Emond
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #7 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 8:16pm » |
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www.memorialcentre.co.uk/repatriation.html
hope this helps. I did a search on "shipping human remains".
Sorry you have to be looking.
Annette
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| « Last Edit: Nov 1st, 2005, 8:17pm by Annette_Emond » |
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pubgirl
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #8 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 8:19pm » |
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So far all I have found is:
"Register the death according to the local regulations in the country in which it took place, and get a local death certificate. Register the death with the British Consul, so that a record of the death will be kept in England. You will be able to get a copy of the death certificate from the consulate later
If the death abroad occurred in particular circumstances or the information about the death abroad is incomplete, this must be reported to a coroner in the same way as if the death occurred in England or Wales."
This cannot possibly be all there is to it.
Have found lots of Funeral Directors websites which just tell you how much it will cost and what pretty caskets they have, not how to do it and are just basically adverts for their services.
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pubgirl
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #9 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 8:22pm » |
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Thanks Annette, I found that one too and have bookmarked it
W
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Karla
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #10 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 8:22pm » |
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My grandfather died while vacationing in Texas. He was in the hospital for a long while. As soon as he was stable he was flown in a small sensna with the piolit, and my grandmother also on the plane. It cost her everything to get his body home. I would strongly consider cremation if it is religisly ok.
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Charlie
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #11 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 8:48pm » |
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Sorry to hear this Wendy.
You offended someone? Not me.
Look into what Minsitry deals with it is all I can think of. If you play dumb, it might help.
Lots of luck and for God's sake, don't stay away. I want you back like yesterday.
Charlie 
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pubgirl
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #12 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 8:56pm » |
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Thanks again everyone for the kind messages.
I think where I've got to is:
Death certificate from hospital
Register Death with local Coroner or whatever your equivalant is in Pittsburgh
Register death with nearest British Consul to Pittsburgh
Pay a Funeral Director a large amount of money to do the rest.
My only worry now is that questions will be asked about why she went to the USA only four weeks ago when she was so seriously ill - the simple answer is that the NHS told her there was nothing they could do for her 2 years ago but the hospital in the USA gave her hope and treatment for those 2 years when there was neither given here. The cynics will say they took her money but I believe they bought her hope and time- both of which were priceless.
If anyone can add anything useful, including any relevant local knowledge of Pittsburgh coroners etc, I would appreciate it
Thanks again everyone
Wendy
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #13 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 9:31pm » |
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Wendy,
It is good to see you
Just adding that the body will have to be embalmed, there maybe a special lightweight or sealed coffin required. There will probably be a form needed from some department of health saying the body was properly prepared for the flight, and possibly a special type of inspection for security. I tried many searches on Google and came up with nothing. It may be a lot cheaper to send it by ship, but it will take a lot longer to arrive.
Opus/Paul
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| « Last Edit: Nov 1st, 2005, 9:38pm by Opus » |
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #14 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 10:33pm » |
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Most all hospitals here have a employee in the Social Services area. These folks help with Living Wills, Power of Attorney's, etc.
May I suggest that you call the hospital and speak to this person in Social Services. If he/she doesn't have the answers, I bet they can get them. They have an abundance of information available to them.
It may be called Patient Services...but it is normally a person that can make all types of arrangements and assist in others. Most of them are Notary Publics, and have access to all types of legal documents.
Just a suggestion....
Jean
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Jasmyn
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #15 on: Nov 2nd, 2005, 12:52am » |
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Wendy, sorry I can't be of any help but please after this is over come back to the site.
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pubgirl
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #16 on: Nov 2nd, 2005, 1:33am » |
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The information is really helpful, thank you all so much for taking the time.
Wendy
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #17 on: Nov 2nd, 2005, 4:04am » |
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Hi Wendy
I am not sure as to what nationals they are but usually (as far as my experience goes with North European countries), the Embassy of the country in which they are citizens will and can arrange transportation in case of emergency / death. They may charge you the cost later but payment arrangements can be made.
Good to see you back - stay
Marty
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pubgirl
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #18 on: Nov 2nd, 2005, 4:22am » |
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Thanks Marty, bless you. She is Serbian by birth but has lived here for many years and has British citizenship as hubby is a Brit. The problem with the Nationality I hope will only be the religious considerations (if any) of what an ancient and very Orthodox religion says about what you can and can't do with a body, and the truly awful situation that her family, who live in the UK but only came over relatively recently and don't have full citizenship cannot get to the USA to be with her and him. I cannot imagine what they must be going through. They are trying to rush through an urgent visa application for her mother to try and get her out there in time but there seems no chance for the other members of the family.
I don't fully understand why they can't come to your country for a brief visit as I know I or my husband just buy a flight and head over there, possibly with a slight "glossing over" of the reason (probably will just say we are visiting a friend as in any case we would not be staying longer than a few days) just to save hassle but they can't do this.
I am guessing that there might be some kind of risk perceived that they won't leave, or maybe they are in some kind of limbo at the moment as they are applying for British citizenship. Not sure really but it is incredibly sad.
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #19 on: Nov 2nd, 2005, 4:28am » |
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Hi Wendy!
You don't know how pleased I am to see you back here!
I've found these for you
on the TSA website
Transporting the deceased
http://www.tsa.gov/public/display?content=0900051980073a84
I'd recommend getting in touch with the airlines as they must deal with this more than anyone.
I'm so sorry to hear this, this is the couple that just got married a couple of months back isn't it? Damn I hoped they would have longer.
If there is anything I can do to help just say okay?
lots of love
Helen
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pubgirl
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #20 on: Nov 2nd, 2005, 7:07am » |
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Bless you Helen, that is useful info and have bookmarked that too.
They have been legally married for several years but the first wedding was actually in the Elvis Chapel in Vegas as it was a second marriage for both of them after unhappy first ones, so the wedding in August was the "official" Serbian religious blessing of the marriage.
Never dreamt that things could happen so fast after that though, as I'm sure they didn't.
W
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #21 on: Nov 2nd, 2005, 7:21am » |
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Wendy, since you found your way back, stick around....
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #22 on: Nov 2nd, 2005, 7:49am » |
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Wendy, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this... I agree with Helen and Jean. Between the airlines and patient services, I'm sure everything can be worked out. I also agree with everyone else: Please stay. Best wishes to you and PFDAN's,
-Frank
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #23 on: Nov 2nd, 2005, 7:51am » |
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Welcome back Wendy.....Please stay...
Hope you are able to figure a way to help your friend out with this sad situation.
Kim
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Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help
« Reply #24 on: Nov 2nd, 2005, 10:26am » |
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Wendy thanks for coming back we are here for ya and I respect your opinions as I do everyones, we may not always agree but how boring would that be? Stick around ok.
God bless you and your friend and hope it works out ok. There isnt much I can do but you do have my heartfelt sorrow, and love.
God Bless again
Mike
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