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Topic: Medical Sex Facts... (Read 482 times) |
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daffyswacky
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Medical Sex Facts...
« on: Oct 28th, 2005, 9:26pm » |
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Medical Sex Facts
1. It takes 116 muscles to climax, but only 17 to smile. (But who cares?)
2. Sex makes you alert and ready to face the world ... it's an ideal substitute for a hot breakfast.
3. The greater the orgasm, the deeper the sleep. Multiple orgasms (20 or more per hour) can induce a coma and near-fusion with the mattress.
4. Eat and drink sensibly. The combination of alcohol and sex, especially after long abstinence, can cause spontaneous fizzle.
5. Improved breath control increases oxygen supply throughout entire body, prevents asphyxiation during mighty kisses, trims and tones pelvis, promotes a stronger upper body enabling you to hold on tight and keep partner from damaging furniture during moments of ecstasy.
6. Better coordination prevents confusion during intricate manipulations, permitting you to talk and perform at the same time.
7. A single ejaculation, especially from a man, contains enough sperm cells to fertilize every woman in the Marines.
8. Oral sex is a great way to firm the lower face. (For whom? )
9. After 16 steady hours of sex, it is wise to check your insurance policy.
10."Where am I?" should not be considered an abnormal response to immense orgasm.
11. Men who experience difficulty with insertion should see a guidance counselor.
12. Too much arousal can bring on a hard-attack.
13. It's perfectly okay to have sex on an empty stomach, especially if it belongs to your partner.
14. You know that you've had too much sex when your life begins to flash before your eyes.
15. You know I've had too little sex when my partner begins to flash before my eyes.
16. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and in demand.
17. Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up straight.
18. Thirty percent of our body heat escapes through the head (wear a hat during sex).
19. Sex on an inclined surface (an anthill, for example) builds endurance.
20. The length of an orgasm is usually anywhere from three to eleven seconds or four to seven feet.
21. 1970 FDA approves spray-on Vaseline.
22. To prevent bedsores, oil the sheets.
23. Maintenance tip for massages: change the oil every 10,000 strokes.
24. Sexual survival depends on knowing the difference between a birthmark and a rash.
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deltadarlin
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #1 on: Oct 28th, 2005, 9:31pm » |
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on Oct 28th, 2005, 9:26pm, daffyswacky wrote:Medical Sex Facts
3. Multiple orgasms (20 or more per hour) can induce a coma and near-fusion with the mattress.
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Coma hell, that could induce a heart attack. Does the phrase, "he died with a smile on his face" bring anything to mind?
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Jonny
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #2 on: Oct 28th, 2005, 9:39pm » |
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13 times in 30 minutes........Damn im good 
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pattik
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #3 on: Oct 28th, 2005, 10:31pm » |
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wash your mouth out, young man..
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LeLimey
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #4 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 1:53am » |
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on Oct 28th, 2005, 9:39pm, Jonny wrote:
13 times in 30 minutes........Damn im good |
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Pssst Jonny... it only counts if you have a partner 
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| « Last Edit: Oct 29th, 2005, 1:55am by LeLimey » |
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Charlie
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #5 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 2:32am » |
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Yeah. I vist Jonny's grave every week. 
Charlie
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sandie99
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #6 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 2:54am » |
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on Oct 29th, 2005, 1:53am, LeLimey wrote:
Pssst Jonny... it only counts if you have a partner
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See, Helen doesn't miss anything! 
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juvy
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #7 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 5:35am » |
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Oh sure make me jealous. My husband has cut me off. The idiot thinks it will tramatize the baby...Can anyone say "pregnancy hormones"?
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LeLimey
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #8 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 6:22am » |
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Juvy I don't know about you but while I was pregnant.. ooooheeeeeeeeeee!
Tell hubby the baby is demanding visitation!
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Jimmy_B.
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #9 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 8:27am » |
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on Oct 29th, 2005, 5:35am, juvy wrote:| Oh sure make me jealous. My husband has cut me off. The idiot thinks it will tramatize the baby...Can anyone say "pregnancy hormones"? |
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He cut you off because men have this weird feeling that if they have sex with their partner...late in the pregnancy...the little bugger's gonna grab a hold of it, thinking it's a toy, and freak us out.
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AussieBrian
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #10 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 8:47am » |
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It was late 60's, early 70's, there was a series of about four books of cartoons called Eggbert & Eggberta by a bloke named LAF.
If anyone can find reference to them, and forward it to our pregnant ladies, I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
To be honest, I'd love to see them again myself.
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Jimmy_B.
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #11 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 1:45pm » |
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on Oct 29th, 2005, 8:47am, AussieBrian wrote:It was late 60's, early 70's, there was a series of about four books of cartoons called Eggbert & Eggberta by a bloke named LAF.
If anyone can find reference to them, and forward it to our pregnant ladies, I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
To be honest, I'd love to see them again myself. |
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All I can find on Eggbert & Eggberta is this:"
OCLC's WorldCat lists, by my count, four Eggbert books
described as cartoons about pregnancy. The author is
LAF. They were published by Pocket Books between 1962 and 1972. I clearly remember seeing these in the 60's when my mother and my best friend's mother thought they were hilarious and, believe it or not, slightly naughty. The basic idea is that Eggbert is in the womb, speculating on and making observations about the foibles of his parents and the oddities of the outside world. In one volume, there are twins: Eggbert and Eggberta. The titles are: INSIDE EGGBERT, EGGBERT & EGGBERTA, EGGBERT: FUNNY SIDE UP, and, most amazingly, SCRAMBLED EGGBERT."
Can't find any place where they are being sold or offered, though.
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Jasmyn
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #12 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 1:59pm » |
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Men are just weird.
They sit with a woman, pregnant, with a hightened sexual drive because of the correct hormone cocktail. They can try any fantasy position.
They don't have to use protection. The baby can't get hurt. It makes delivery at the end, easy as pie.
They get full breasts and a curvaceous body and what do they do....? The abstain because of their own mental reasons!
Men should not be allowed to think, they suck at it!
Shows you just how little men know!
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Azrael
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Re: Medical Sex Facts...
« Reply #13 on: Oct 30th, 2005, 12:50pm » |
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To be fair... In late pregnancy, you can't do just any position. Experts recommend avoiding deep penetration positions to prevent possible injury to the womans uterus or cervix. Other than that, the sex is the best thing about pregnancy. I guess nature is tryin' to make those 9 months make up for the next 18 years.
PFDAN.............................. Drk^Angel
P.S. It took 30 mins?
P.P.S. Nevermind... I just read LeLimey's post, and now it makes more sense.
DA
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