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Topic: Funny little diddy (Read 257 times) |
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The Warden from Hell
New Board Junior
Sometimes I feel like a nut... sometimes I don't.
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Funny little diddy
« on: Oct 28th, 2005, 6:16pm » |
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my friend Stephen sent this one to me. i had to share it.
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....
I
know
where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my
crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the
entire
room
for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and
change
the
channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too".
Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of
course
it
is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people
do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
Loser,
I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really
give
me
a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If itsnw,
then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then
there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the
longest
damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
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| « Last Edit: Oct 28th, 2005, 6:16pm by The Warden from Hell » |
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The opposite of war is not peace. It is creation. -RENT by Johnathan Larson
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rextangle
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This is all sadly so true!!! 
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Funny little diddy
« Reply #2 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 3:04am » |
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That was great. Thank you for sharing that.
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Gator
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
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Posts: 4556
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Re: Funny little diddy
« Reply #3 on: Oct 29th, 2005, 11:20pm » |
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Can't resist. Sorry.
#10 You walk in the house drenched from head to toe and someone asks you "Is it raining outside?" No meathead. I always soak myself with a waterhose before coming into the house.
#11 You hit your thumb while driving a nail. As you pace about quickly, holding your thumb and cursing someone says, "Oh, Ow, did you hit your thumb?" No, arsehole. I was just practicing my victory dance for when I finally get that nail driven...in your skull!
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burnt-toast
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Re: Funny little diddy
« Reply #4 on: Oct 30th, 2005, 10:49am » |
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I believe that you misinterpreted the meaning of #3.
"You can't have your cake and eat it to" is typically interpreted as.
Once you've eaten the cake, there is no cake left to have.
It is a simple reminder that there are consequences to our actions.
Tom
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
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BOHICA!!!
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Re: Funny little diddy
« Reply #5 on: Oct 30th, 2005, 9:05pm » |
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Cake? Who the hell cares about cake? Gimme ice cream, dammit!! 
"All your ice cream are belong to us."
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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kimmiedawn81
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Stuck in the middle with you!
 
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Re: Funny little diddy
« Reply #6 on: Oct 30th, 2005, 9:43pm » |
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Those are flippin' hilarious!!!!!!
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